


Introduction to Medium Awareness in Cimmerian Environments: Redux

by soundlessAsdots



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dark, Dreamatorium, F/M, Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 79,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundlessAsdots/pseuds/soundlessAsdots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FINISHED! For some reason A03 is not letting me change the chapter numbers. </p>
<p>When the Dark Study Group infiltrates the Prime Timeline, Abed must convince the Study Group the true nature of their universe to stop their Dark Counterparts. Britta struggles with the choices she must make to ensure the happiness of the Study Group. Evil Annie's plans don't pan out as she originally thought, but it doesn't stop her from following through with the role she has been cast to play. </p>
<p>New version with an alternate ending from the original. </p>
<p>Originally published on Fanfiction.net on 12/5/2012.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shadows: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Intro to Medium Awareness in Cimmerian Environments](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/24173) by me. 



> First chapter is generally the same. Other chapters will basically be the same, but may have different jokes from the original. The ending will be different than the original.
> 
> The first chapter is a prologue and only has the Dark Study group in it. From Chapter 2 onward, members of the Dark Study group will be referred to as, "Evil _____," while members of the Prime Study group will be referred to as their original names.

**The Dark Timeline**

**October 18th 2011, 12:30 pm- The Study Room**

The Dark Study Group sat around the study room table, attempting to not look at the two empty seats. In Pierce's place, a blue lava lamp rested on the table. Abed insisted on taking it everywhere they went because separation from one another was something none of them had experienced since the incident.

After a long silence, an Abed wearing a felt beard announced, "Jeff, you're Annie's healthcare proxy. Troy and I were her witnesses when she filled out the form."

Jeff rested his only hand across his forehead, "So, now after planning Pierce's funeral, I have to decide this?"

"I was the one who organized the entire thing," Britta replied with a dole frown before restraining herself from tearing up, "It was so beautiful."

"It was. It really was," Troy looked over at the lava lamp next to him and began to cry; his robotic shrieks sending chills up everyone's spines.

"Wh-what's gonna happen to Annie, Jefffff?" Shirley asked, with her hand clinging to a paper bag covered bottle.

"I-I'm not sure," Jeff paused for a moment to think, "After what she did, she needs to stay in a psychiatric facility. I'll find a nice, private one for her. I know we all love Annie and want her to stay with us, but I think its what is best for her."

"But then we wont be able to reclaim our former lives!" Abed interjected.

Jeff gritted his teeth and turned his head towards Abed, "There. Are. No. Other. Timelines! Got it! These are our lives now!" He looked around the table and noticed that Shirley had passed out with her head down on the table, still clutching the bottle.

Abed rose from his seat and stated, "I'll show you. I'll show you all." He adopted a British accent to say, "Come, Constable Reggie. We have work to do"." Troy grabbed the lava lamp they called, 'Pierce,' and began to follow Abed out of the room.

Jeff yelled back at them, "If I find you building another giant cardboard Dreama-whatever, in the living room again, I will-"

"Jeff," Britta interrupted, her brow crinkled, "Let them deal with this in their own way."

"We just got back from Pierce's funeral and Annie tried to kill herself only three days ago...Do you really think that them believing a cardboard box will take them to another dimension is healthy?"

"Its healthier than what Annie tried to do," Britta replied, before grabbing Jeff's only hand.

He looked down at her grasping his hand, closed his eyes and nodded, "Fine, they can make their cardboard contraption, as long as it doesn't take up the entire living room."

* * *

 

**April 12, 2012 10:00am- Riverside Psychiatric Hospital**

"Mr. Winger, I cannot express how highly I recommend for Miss Edison to stay in our facility. Even though she hasn't made an attempt in months and she's been sleeping soundly through the night."

"I don't understand! I haven't seen her since her last attempt! Nothing has changed! And you people have not been helping her! I come here everyday, yet haven't seen her in a month because apparently she is not allowed visitors. And the last time I did see her she was worse! What the hell do you wan't me to do? I am in control of her treatment and if you do not release her to me immediately, I will seek legal action!"

"Mr. Winger, I don't think you understand...Since the last time you saw her...well we thought by allowing her to write letters and have confidence therapy would help, but... Mr. Winger, if you would only allow me to give her some medication, specifically because of her past, Wellbutrin XL."

"You are not giving her any medication, unless she threatens again to-to...do what she did that got her here, got that?"

"Listen...she has changed and not in a good way. She has regressed," Dr. Georges nodded and began again, "Miss Edison's guilt has driven her to a state of madness...in order to cope with her guilt and PTSD, she has simply eliminated her conscience, deeming the 'incident,' as a facet of her imagination, a dream. This is a major regression and before this she was doing so well with the exposure therapy too. She suddenly began to feel nothing for others and posed a serious threat to herself and all around her."

"That is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard."

"Fine. If I do let you see her, will you reconsider?"

"If you let me see her then, yes, I will reconsider it, but 'reconsider' is the key word here."

Jeff walked down the white, tiled halls. The doctor used his card to scan Jeff in and led him into the maximum security area. The doors look heavier and more intimidating than the others he passed by earlier.

He stopped in front of door 538b and turned to Jeff, "I want to remind you that she is highly intelligent. She may try to manipulate your emotions. I recommend that you talk to her yourself and then observe a session between me and her from an area where she cannot see you."

Jeff nodded before the doctor opened the door. Annie was dressed in a white hospital gown and a blue cardigan sweater while she sat on her bed; staring at the white wall with her back to the door.

"Annie, you have a visitor."

"That's great and all, but you know what would be really awesome?" Annie asked emotionless, without taking her stare off the wall.

"What?"

"If you gave me something fucking else to do, other than stare at this damn wall all day," she said calmly.

"We tried that remember? You weren't behaving properly in the activity room. We could get you a book or you could listen to music."

"Well, then they should have stopped stealing my fucking pens. They were my pens and they had no fucking right to take my pens!" She began to raise her voice, "I'm not in the mood to read any books and I don't need music."

"Annie, you aren't allowed to have your own pens, remember what happened? You tried to harm yourself and other people."

"Those pens were mine! I'm not going to hurt myself anymore," she said with intense discontent and pointed towards herself as she still stared at the wall, "I shouldn't be here anymore! I hope you know that."

"Annie, would you like to turn around and say, 'hi' to your guest."

She turned around and her eyes lit up, "Jeff!" she exclaimed and ran over to give Jeff a hug. "Where's your arm?" she asked with a pout as she grabbed the air where his arm should have been.

"Annie, don't you remember? It, it...burnt off...I didn't have it last time I saw you. You seem to be talking more now..."

"I was a little different then... It’s hard for me to remember. Here come sit down!" she exclaimed, while grabbing Jeff's hand and leading him to the lone chair in her room, next to her desk. She sat on her bed across from him with a giddy smile and held his hand.

"Annie, I'm going to get you out of here."

"You are?" she exclaimed.

"Yes, you are obviously fine. I'm pretty sure anyone would be angry if they had to stare at a blank wall all day."

"Yay! Thank God! I can't stand it anymore," Annie took Jeff's hand, flattening it out in her own, while she started to trace the creases of his palm. The sleeves of her oversized, cornflower blue cardigan fell to her elbows to reveal long, pink vertical scars across her wrists. She looked up at him with her large, fluttering, manipulating eyes and remarked, "It was horrible, Jeff. Someone kept taking my pens."

"I know. I heard. What happened, exactly?"

"Well, I was in the activity room and I was writing letters, since I couldn't bring pens into my room anymore. I loved to write letters, but someone kept taking my pens. So the next time I saw on of their hands trying to take one of my pens away, I took the pen and stabbed it right through their hand," Annie replied in an innocent voice.

"You stabbed an orderly with a pen?" Jeff's voice cracked as his eyes widened.

"Yes, I told you. They kept taking them," Annie took Jeff's hand and put it on her cheek, "How is everyone? I miss them. Do you guys miss me?"

“Of course we all miss you,” Jeff was slightly baffled about what exactly to say. He composed himself and answered, "Shirley is drinking again. Britta dyed a blue streak into her hair and dresses in only black now instead of the usual three days a week. Troy is fine I guess, as fine as anyone without a voice box can be. And Abed has, um, well, Abed has been enthusiastic for us all to, I guess you could say reclaim our old lives."

"Abed mentioned that in his letters. I can't wait to see everyone."

Jeff bit his lip. He thought about how he wasn't going to let Annie out of this place and he hadn't even seen her therapy session yet. He decided to just nod at her.

Annie's smile quickly faded, realizing that he wasn't going to get her out. "Jeff," she whispered and inched closer to him, so she was sitting on the edge of the bed, and begged, "Please. Please, let me out of here. I-I need to do productive things. They won't let me do anything productive. I just sit here all day. I know I didn't do anything, Jeff. Abed explained it to me."

"I'm-I'm going to try."

She moved in closer to him and whispered into his ear with a lower voice, "Please, Jeff...Please, I know you want me to get out. Don't you miss it?"

"Miss what?" he asked.

"Our old lives. Abed wrote me a letter explaining it all. It wasn't real. Pierce is alive. He's just somewhere...else. Imagine it. Let me out and we can be together, like you want. I know you want it. Jeff, don't deny it," Annie whispered as she placed his hand on her chest.

Jeff pulled his only hand away from her immediately and looked over at the doctor, who stood near the door. Annie's smile faded and her eyes narrowed.

He looked back at Annie and saw her expression, grabbed her hand, and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "You're right, I'm going to get you out of here," then kissed her on the cheek. Jeff rose up from his chair and said aloud, "I have to go now, Annie, but I'll come again... to get you, okay?"

She nodded at him with a pleased smile.

Jeff left her room and the doctor followed him.

"What are you're thoughts, Mr. Winger?"

"She obviously can't leave this place. She's gone off the total deep-end."

"Thank you for realizing that, Mr. Winger. Would you still like to observe a session?"

"Yes, I would. I really wan't to see how bad she is."

"She should really be on medicati-"

"No medication!" Jeff yelled.

* * *

 

Jeff sat in a small room and watched a live feed of Annie's therapy session on a television.

"Tell me about Jeff..." The psychiatrist said.

"Jeff Winger?" Annie said with a flirty smile, raising one eyebrow at her psychiatrist, "He really likes me. I can tell. He doesn't like to admit it though. He doesn't like how young I am, but he's gonna get me out of here and then we are going to be together."

"That sounds wonderful, Annie, but don't you think you're not ready to leave this place yet?"

"I'm more than ready. It's not my fault you are all fucking incompetent," she shrugged.

"Annie, are you aware that Jeff is the one who has confined you here?"

"Yes, I was going to be a hospital administrator before this entire ordeal. I know he has me voluntarily here...and I know that before I wasn't voluntary because I tried to do something horrible to myself. I'm well aware of how this all works. What twenty-year old woman has a healthcare proxy who isn't her mother? I'll tell you who," Annie began to utter a nervous laugh, "one who's mother is a racist bitch."

"Aren't you angry at Jeff?"

"No, he just doesn't understand. At first, I did need to be here, but now I can talk again and I know what is going on. I know I didn't do anything. It wasn't my fault. Just like how the pen incidents in the activity room weren't my fault. However, you idiots haven't declared me mentally competent and I can't make my own healthcare decisions," she nodded to herself, "Now, Jeff understands. He's going to get me out of here. I can't wait to leave here and be with my friends. They will let me have all the pens I want and we are going to reclaim our former lives."

"Tell me about your friends, Annie."

"Well, there is Troy, Abed, Shirley, Jeff, and-" Annie began then rolled her eyes to the name of, "Britta."

"What about your friend Pierce?"

"Pierce is gone..." She trailed off and then said emotionless, "I thought it was my fault. I had a gun. I'm very good at shooting a gun you know? I didn't shoot it that time though. It's ironic, huh?"

"Yes, you have told us that many times. Do you still miss Pierce?"

"Sometimes, even though he was kind of mean. I used miss Pierce a lot. It doesn't really matter now. I mean he is alive," She nodded with her mouth half open, before releasing an ominous whisper, "...somewhere...just not here."

"Annie, you do know that Pierce is really not in that lava lamp and he is not coming back?"

Annie erupted into uncontrollable laughter and pointed at herself, "Yo-you, think that I believe Pierce is in a lava lamp? A lava lamp?' She shook her head while laughing, "I know he's not in the lava lamp. His religion is a cult...He's somewhere else. He's just not here..."

"Would you care if another person died and it was your fault, Annie?"

"I told you, there is no point in caring anymore," she looked down at the white, tiled floor and added, "At least not here..."

"Tell me about Britta."

"She's sleeping with Jeff," Annie replied in a matter of fact tone, "Abed told me in his letter. You wont let me get letters from him anymore!" she shouted.

"And what do you want to do to Britta?"

"Obviously, I want to stop her from sleeping with Jeff," Annie shrugged with a crinkled forehead, deeming her psychiatrist to be incompetent.

"How do you plan on doing that? Especially from in here?"

"He already wants me...she's just the replacement and if they don't stop when he gets me out. I'll take care of her."

"What are you going to do with her?"

"I'm going to 'replace' her with the Britta from the timeline where she is with Troy."

"Annie, there are no other timelines. That's why we had to stop giving you letters from your friend. He was lying to you, Annie. You are not evil, don't you remember feeling bad for what you did?"

"I told you there is no point in feeling bad anymore!" she glared at her psychiatrist, "I didn't do anything! Pierce is alive!" she said with anger and then spoke with a lighter tone, "Its like we are all in a waking dream. Everything happens, then stops, then goes back. Like a reset button. Jeff is going to get me out of here. Then we can be together and reclaim our former lives. That's what Abed told me."

"Didn't Abed tell you that your friends from this 'timeline' were going to kill your," he looked through his clipboard papers, "'counterparts,' in the other 'timelines'? Wouldn't replacing this Britta ruin his plans?"

"The Britta who loves Troy will be better. Abed just doesn't realize it yet," Annie declared with confidence.

"How are you going to 'replace' Britta without her saying something?"

"I'm going to kill her..." she said with a low, serious voice before raising her eyebrows. She shook her head in a slow motion, giving the doctor a knowing smile, "Listen, carefully. We aren't really real anyway, doctor. It won't matter. Don't you understand that?"

* * *

 

**1:30pm- Jeff Winger's Apartment**

A bearded Troy and a bearded Abed sat on the floor of their blanket fort bedroom, looking over the plans for a giant Dreamatorium. A giant make-shift cardboard one sat in the middle of the room.

Britta sat on the couch and pretended to be reading a book. "Have you guys seen Shir-" she began to ask, but was interrupted by Jeff storming through the front door.

In a fit of rage, Jeff rushed over to Abed and grabbed him by the collar.

Britta jumped up from the couch and attempted to push Jeff away from Abed, but Jeff's arm was too strong and still had a grip on him. "Jeff!" she screamed, while trying to grab his arm, "Stop it! Let him go!"

Troy began to cry, "Come on, man! You're hurting him!"

"What did you say to her?" he screamed at Abed, who remained calm, "She was getting better, but now she is worse! What the hell did you say to her? You ruined her, Abed!"

Abed remained silent.

Britta cried, "What happened? Is Annie okay?"

"An-" Jeff started to say, but gritted his teeth and replied with controlled rage, "What the hell did you say to her in those letters? She's changed."

"I think its time I showed you something," Abed said with a calm demeanor, "It’s one of the things I wrote about to her."

"What is it?" Jeff replied through his gritted teeth, "You better have a damn good reason for convincing her to believe those things."

"Troy, prepare the Dreamatorium," Abed nodded over to Troy.

* * *

 

**November 14th 2012 2:30pm - Jeff Winger's Apartment**

A one-armed, bearded Jeff Winger appeared out of the giant cardboard Dreamatorium in his apartment. Britta, Abed and Troy sat at his island counter on the stools, playing cards. Britta and Abed smoked cigarettes next to a lava lamp with a picture of Pierce taped to it. Shirley was passed out on the couch, cradling a bottle of scotch.

"So, what's going on over there?" Britta turned her stool around and asked.

"Prime Britta and Prime Troy broke up and she is now sleeping with Prime Jeff secretly. Prime Troy is okay and now dates this other girl. Prime Pierce is getting really racist...I think he may actually be evil, it's possibly why we don't have..well...and Prime Shirley's sandwich shop is doing great."

"What about Prime Annie?" Abed asked.

"She's having a crisis about what to do with her life...This is the perfect time to strike. Her emotional balance is not well."

"Awesome. Go and get her out," Britta shooed him with her hand.

"One problem," Jeff tilted his head at Britta, "She wants to kill you, remember?"

"Oh yeah, maybe we could do this without her?" Britta replied with a shaky laugh and shrugged.

"No," Abed interjected, "We need her. We're not leaving her behind, not Annie. I have a plan."

"First, one question," Troy squeaked with a robotic voice, "Is Prime Troy's girlfriend hot?"

* * *

 

**Riverside Psychiatric Hospital- 5:30pm**

"Annie, you have a visitor," a nurse called her.

On her bed, Annie lay on her side towards the wall, picking at one of the paint chips.

"It's Mr. Winger. Remember how happy you were to see him last time?"

"He NEVER came back!" she yelled.

"Annie, I'm sorry. Your doctor said it would be bad for your treatment. I come everyday and give you cards. Have you gotten any of them?" Jeff replied with a light tone.

"After the fourth month of you not coming, I started to throw them away. I don't understand. I thought you wanted to be with me, but instead you leave me here rotting for nine months while you were fucking Britta."

 "It’s because we were planning. Annie, we are going to do it...we are going to reclaim our former lives."

She slowly got up and turned around to look at him with a glare.

Jeff said to the nurse, "You can leave us alone. I think we'll be okay."

The nurse nodded and left him alone in her room.

"I don't think I want to anymore," she stated with nonchalance, "I don't want to see you anymore."

"Well, I'm the only one who can get you out of here-"

"Yeah, remind me to change my healthcare proxy to Abed when I'm declared mentally competent," she scoffed.

"Well, with the way you've been behaving, that may be a ways away down the road. You can't keep telling them that you want to kill people and that everything is not real. Besides, it’s not me you want," Jeff added.

"I know. I just told you that I didn't want to see you any more. Didn't I?"

"We both know you were lying when you said that. No, what I mean is, you don't want this one-armed Jeff. You don't want Evil Jeff. I mean Evil Jeff leaves you here for nine months alone while he sleeps with Britta. No, you want Prime Jeff. He has two arms and he's re-connected with his father. He cares about people, he is almost a real lawyer again and this is the best part...I think he loves Annie... He just hasn't realized it yet. He's everything I wish I could be."

"Really?" she raised her eyebrows at him. Annie stood up from her bed and walked over to him with caution.

"But here's the thing-"Jeff began.

"There's always a catch with you," she narrowed her eyes at him, gritting her teeth.

"He is sleeping with Prime Britta."

"And it's always Britta," she replied with disdain.

"But, you can have the Prime Jeff Winger," Jeff began, "The best version."

"That's subjective...Wait, how can I do that?" she walked closer to him, so they were inches away from each other and tilted her head at him.

"You are the one who is going to destroy Prime Britta's psyche. You see, Abed didn't do a good enough job last time."

"So, I get to leave this place?" she gave him a breathy whisper as she grasped the collar of his shirt between her middle and index finger; feeling the material.

"Yes, right now, but you are not allowed to harm Our Britta, agreed?"

"Agreed," she replied with a smirk before giving him a hug.

* * *

 

**Jeff Winger's Apartment- 7:00pm**

The group waited at Jeff's apartment. Jeff and Annie came through his door. Annie's hair was wavier and messier. She wore sweatpants, a t-shirt and her blue cardigan.

"Abed!" she exclaimed, before running over and giving him a hug, "You have a beard, too. Just like Jeff." She stroked his beard with her gentle fingers.

"It's all part of the ensemble," Abed nodded.

"And Troy!" she ran over and hugged a bearded Troy.

"We missed you, Annie. We were, like, really sad when your letters stopped." Troy replied.

"Your voice..." she winced for a moment. She closed her eyes before calming herself and replied, "They took away my pens."

She walked over to a passed out Shirley on the couch, bent down and stroked her hair.

Britta forced a smile, "Heyyyy, Annie. How are you?"

"Fine," Annie snapped, "Is there somewhere I can take a nap?"

"Yeah, down the hallway," Jeff motioned, "You can take a nap in the bedroom for now. I'll send Britta to buy an air mattress for you to sleep on. We won't be here for much longer, otherwise I would buy you a real bed."

"Where is my air mattress going to go? You only have one bedroom."

"Like I said, we are only gonna be here for a couple more weeks...Shirley passes out on the couch and Troy and Abed sleep in the blanket fort. I thought you would want to stay with them."

"Yeah, I would like to stay with them," Annie nodded in the understanding that Jeff and Britta stayed in the same room.She walked down the hall and laid down in the bed.

"I'm leaving the door open. Don't close it. We will be quiet," Jeff said. 

"You're never going to leave me alone? Are you?" she asked.

"No. I'm not risking the chance you may do something to yourself. I can't lose you Annie, you mean too much to us...to me."

 

* * *

**10:00pm**

  
They sat around Jeff's kitchen island while Jeff explained the plan.

"So, we all know how the plan from this summer didn't work out like we thought,"Jeff announced.

"Prime Abed-" Britta started to say.

"He's Lame Abed," Abed interrupted.

"Lame Abed," Britta began again while narrowing her eyes at Abed, "has already caught on, you know? I mean a one-armed lawyer, Jeff? Could you have been more obvious?"

"Well, I thought it would work. I mean we did blackmail Starburns to disappear. I thought the wig, the scar and my new beard would be enough. Also, unfortunately ruining Prime Britta was a lot harder than we thought."

"I almost got Jeff though," Abed cursed, "And I almost had Britta too. She was contemplating dying her hair."

"It was such a waste telling you my secrets," Britta scoffed at Abed.

"I had to know. I thought I could break her. She's so goofy and weak," Abed affirmed, "I thought I could completely shatter her confidence."

"Well, you did a shitty job," Britta put her cigarette out in the ashtray with a violent motion.

"This time, its going to work," Jeff urged, "I don't care what we have to resort to."

"It has to work," Troy commented, causing everyone to shudder from his voice.

"What if it doesn't?" Annie asked as she stared out the window at the snow.

"Then none of us will ever get to do anything we planned. I mean we've already dropped out of Greendale." Jeff replied, "Britta will be a waitress. Abed will have to work at his dad's falafel stand. Shirley will lose custody of her kids.Troy will probably be okay; he's good at fixing things. And I-I guess I'll have to finally tell my mother that I did not lose my arm in a speed boat accident and that I'm really not a lawyer."

"And you'll send me back to the hospital, wont you?" she said with a vacant voice.

"I'm not sending you back there, got it?" Jeff wen't over to her and put his arm around her in an embrace, stroking her hair, "I'll take care of you. Okay, Annie?"

She looked up at him and managed a nod, before he kissed her on the forehead.

Britta rolled her eyes and took a long drag from her newly lit cigarette.

He walked back to his seat at the island and addressed the group, "So, Annie, you have Britta, Britta has Shirley, Abed has Jeff and Troy, Troy has Abed...and I have Annie. We bring Shirley back with us after Abed gets to Troy and we regroup...everyone on the same page?" he turned to Britta, who was painting her nails with black nail polish as the cigarette hung from her lips, "Are you even paying attention?"

"Yeah," she scoffed while rolling her eyes, "My part is pretty simple, actually. Lure Shirley to the strip club by pretending that I'm going to find 'God,’but we have to pick up my friend, Cherry Daiquiri, a stripper, on the way. There, Shirley sees Andre, who is still a bastard who bangs strippers...because we are the horrible people who set him up in the first place."

"Where did you get that stripper name anyway?" Troy asked.

"Some Chuck Palahniuk book. I've decided to read darker stuff now that I'm supposed to be 'evil' and all," Britta emphasized 'evil' in a mocking voice.

"She's not fully committing," Abed tilted his head at her.

"Um, excuse me, but I've dyed my hair and I've painted my nails. I think I'm fully committing to this plan of reclaiming my former life by destroying other people. And- and! I'm fucking a one-armed ex-lawyer, who may or may not be a narcissistic sociopath. What else do you want me to do?"

"I can think of many things that you could do, many things," Abed deadpanned then turned to Jeff, "She's gonna mess this up, Jeff. Her blue and orange morality is going to screw us over."

"She'll be fine. She has Shirley. It won't be that hard. It's not like we gave her Annie or you. They would be a lot harder to break."

"Fine," Abed replied, then walked over to Britta, pointing his finger at her, "If you mess this up..."

"Jesus Christ, I'm not going to, Abed," Britta's eyes widened.

"I didn't finish. I'll let Annie take care of you."

Britta looked over at Annie, who was still vacantly staring out the window. "You ruined her with those damn letters! What did you say to her?" she screamed at Abed, "She was still so pure and innocent and you fucking ruined her! What did you say to her, Abed? What did you tell her that you didn't tell us?"

Troy began to cry.

"Enough! No one is killing Britta, even if she messes up the plan," Jeff yelled, "Look! You two and your constant fighting has made him cry, again."

Annie suddenly asked, "What are you going to do to her?"

Jeff turned around and looked at her, "To who?"

"To the Prime Annie."

"I don't think I should tell you."

"Come on. Jeff, I'm part of the plan too. Let me know. Everyone else already does," Annie shrugged.

Jeff hung his head low, "I'm- I'm not going to tell you, Annie. Just worry about your part in the plan."

"I should know! I mean she is me after all..."

"Don't think like that," Abed replied, "Don't connect with them."

"But, but-" Annie began.

"Annie? Don't you wan't Prime Jeff?" Britta asked with a sing-song voice before blowing on her nails while smirking.

Troy's eyes widened, fully knowing that Annie wasn't getting Prime Jeff. Abed was supposed to cut his arm off and banish him to the Dark Timeline. He texted Abed, so his voice would not be heard. 

Troy: What did they tell her?

Abed leaned over and whispered back, "Don't worry about it and stick to the plan."

* * *

  **December 10th 2012 9:30 pm- Jeff Winger's Apartment**

"Where do you go every Tuesday night!" Troy, Abed and Annie heard Jeff yell from his bedroom.

"He-here we go ag-again," A drunken Shirley commented to them as she sat on the couch.

"Don't worry about it," They heard Britta respond through the walls.

"Don't worry about it? Where do you go? Where could you possibly need to go in dress clothes and high heels at ten o'clock at night? You're screwing around, aren't you?"

Britta laughed at him in disbelief, "I can't believe you. You're looking for an excuse aren't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, Jeff, let's just say now that the only two women in this universe who would fuck you without making you pay for it, are living under the same roof as you...you're looking for excuses to screw around with her."

"That's not it! They can hear you out there, you know!" he screamed.

"I don't care and really? Do you expect me to not think that you hadn't done anything when you left for three days into the other timeline this summer?"

"I told you, nothing happened!"

"Fuck this!" Britta shouted. She bursted out of their bedroom and walked with a brisk pace out the front door.

Annie smiled and began to walk down the hallway. Abed grabbed her by the shoulder and shook his head. "Don't go in there. It will ruin everything."

"No, it won't," she gritted her teeth at him.

"Annie," he tilted his head at her, "remember what I told you?"

"Fine," she crossed her arms and pouted, "I'll stay away, but you're not being fair to me, you know that?"

* * *

  **December 11th 2012 7:00 am- Jeff Winger's Apartment**

The next morning, Annie, Abed and Troy were laying down, awake, in their beds in the blanket fort, to not disrupt a sleeping Shirley. They heard the front door to the apartment open.

Britta, who was dressed in a lab coat and her dress clothes, came through Jeff's apartment door and lit up a cigarette. After digging through her oversized purse for a moment, she pulled out something wrapped in a cloth and tossed it on the kitchen island.

"You're welcome," she stated and gave Abed a dirty look as she flicked her cigarette ashes into an ash tray. She then began to walk down the hallway to her and Jeff's bedroom, where Jeff was still sleeping, and closed the door.

"What is it?" Annie asked.

Troy got out of bed and walked over to the kitchen area. He unwrapped the object and replied with a sorrowful look, "It's a realistic robotic arm prototype. It looks and feels like a real arm. Abed asked Britta to steal it from a lab. I'm supposed to make it work."

"Like Luke Skywalker's," Abed nodded.

"For- for Jeff?" Annie stammered.

Troy nodded back.

"So they wont know?" she asked.

"So they won't know," Abed repeated with a nod as he looked down at her on the air mattress, "Also, this is an essential tool for Jeff to gain his confidence back. He'll be a true leader again."

"That's where she had been going?" Annie asked with wide eyes. 

Troy nodded back at her and left the room to go to the bathroom. Then Jeff came out of his bedroom and walked over to the kitchen table; picking up the prosthetic arm and observing it. His eyes closed and he frowned. After shaking his head, Jeff walked back into his room.

Annie got off her air mattress and she lay down next to Abed on his bottom bunk and turned towards him.

"Can you hear it, Annie?" Abed whispered.

She nodded, "It's a guitar... Have you always heard it?"

"Yeah," Abed nodded back.

"Do they know? Can they hear it too?" she whispered with wide eyes.

He shook his head then caressed her cheek while whispering back, "You and I are the only ones who do."

* * *

 Jeff walked into their room and closed the door. Britta looked away from him as she sat on the bed and smoked a cigarette. He sat down next to her, but she scooted away.

"Thank you," he said.

"Abed made me do it," she replied, then added, "...but I also knew it would make you happy."

"I'm sorry he's been questioning your motives."

"It's not going to change anything. I hope you know that. You can change the surroundings, but you can't change what our personalities have become. We're shadows now," she said without looking at him.

"I mean, for you and me, it may not mean anything. I mean, yeah I will have one arm forever, but think about Shirley and Annie. Over there we can get her sober and she'll still be married and have custody of her kids and Annie will be able to go to school and not be labeled a mental patient. Pierce will be there and everyone at Greendale will stop pitying us. I know you hate to be pitied."

She managed a laugh before turning towards him and looking him in the eyes, "I-I don't think I can do this. It's getting ridiculous...Does Abed even know that this isn't a game? That this is supposed to be, like, real life? Because I know Annie doesn't understand and he's the one feeding ideas into her head. Troy will do whatever he says...We are going to ruin six perfectly happy people's lives. Our lives Jeff..."

"Thats not fair, Britta. They're not us. It's not our fault we got the wrong roll of the die."

She nodded back at him, "Yeah, I guess you're right," then leaned her head on his shoulder with no arm and remarked, "I like the Jeff Winger with no right arm. I don't see why one with two arms is better."


	2. Timing is Key

**The Prime Timeline**

**December 11th, 11:35am- The Study Room**

The Study Group, minus Annie, sat around the study table waiting for her to come. Senioritis set in this semester and everyone became busy with their own personal and academic problems. Therefore, none of them bothered to take History notes, except Annie.

"Damn it!" Jeff let out a frustrating sigh. His fingers pressed the keys on his blackberry with fervid pressure, "Where the hell is she? She’s never late! She's not answering any of my text messages and our meeting technically started twenty minutes ago!"

"When you're late, Jeff, we don't text you twenty times," Troy said with a condescending tone.

"Annie does," Jeff replied with his attention focused on the screen of his phone, and growled, "I can't believe she is late. She knows I need to pass this freaking History class.

"So, she's late for what the, like, the third time in four years?" Britta shrugged, "I think we can give her a break. Like Troy said, you have been late countless times, Jeff."

"Actually, Annie has been late six times," Abed rose his pointer finger in the air.

"How do you even know that?" Shirley crinkled her forehead.

"Observation...You don't know me at all, do you?" Abed deadpanned.

Shirley reached her hand out across the table, "Oh, no! Abed, honey I didn't mean it like that."

"What are we supposed to be doing here?" Pierce asked, shaking his head.

"It's Abed's birthday," Troy replied, with a small smile, "Remember that _awesome_ gift you are going to give him?"

"Troy, no," Britta scolded with pursed lips. She shook her head at him.

Troy tilted his head back at her and winced, mouthing the word, "Sorry."

"Ay-bed! Congrats! Is this the birthday you finally get your wife from A-rabia?" Pierce asked.

Shirley shook her head, "Mmhmm, that is _so_ not okay to say."

Britta looked over at Jeff, who was still pounding on the keys to his blackberry, and rolled her eyes. She closed her eyes and let out a deep, restrained sigh to calm herself, "Pierce," she began, "That is offensive to not only Abed, but everyone else here. Please, don't say it again and also it’s not Abed's birthday. We are studying for our history final. We just have to wait for Annie to come with the notes because the book has too much information that we don't need."

"Oh, well why didn't you guys just say so? When I fall asleep you guys have to catch me up," Pierce shrugged.

"Dude, you didn't fall aslee-" Troy started to say before the Dean interrupted him.

"Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, Choo-Choo! Winter-tations from the Polar-dean Express!" The Dean exclaimed as he arrived on a small, extravagant train float pulled by a debilitated Garrett. The Dean, dressed in a revealing blue and white train conductor's uniform, motioned the pulling of a train whistle with his hand and said, "Hold on to your hats because the Holi-deans are a commin'!"

"Glad I know our school budget is being put to good use," Britta sarcastically replied when she noticed Jeff was still typing on his blackberry with frustration.

The Dean got off the float and addressed the study group as he allowed himself a quick caress of Jeff's chest, "Hows the stud-deaning going on in here? I know that Jeffrey needs to pass that History final tomorrow."

Jeff ignored the Dean and began to call Annie on his blackberry

"It's fine Dean," Shirley replied out of courtesy, "What's that in your hand?"

"Its a 'Winter Season Torch,' 'Winter Season' because we don't want to offend those without religion, such as Britta."

"It's appreciated," Britta nodded.

The Dean noticed his chance for opportunity and lit his ceremonial 'Winter Season torch,' with a lighter."

"Is that safe?" Britta asked.

"Says the girl who lit a piece of paper on fire and almost killed a turtle," Shirley commented.

"Of course, it is! You really have to ruin everything, don't you?" the Dean replied.

“It doesn’t look safe,” Troy commented. 

"And that's the very reason I am saying it, Shirley. For the safety of all people and turtles," Britta defended herself, then frowned while looking down at her History book, "Poor Myrtle."

"You named the turtle?" Jeff snickered as he waited for Annie to pick up her phone.

"I became attached. I was almost personally responsible for her death!" Britta exclaimed.

"How do you know it was a girl turtle?" Troy cocked his head to the right, then whispered, "There are no visible parts."

"Yeah, what if it was a male turtle, you could have named him, Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, or Raphael," Abed suggested.

"We could have gotten him a tiny ninja mask!" Toy exclaimed.

"How about Franklin? My children used to love those books," Shirley suggested.

"What are we naming?" Pierce asked, only to be ignored.

"Or Koopa!" Troy pointed back at Abed

Jeff, with the phone to his ear, began to suggest, "Cec-"

"Whoopsi-deani!" Then the Dean 'accidentally' dropped the Holiday torch on the dead center of Jeff's History book on the table.

Everyone started to scream and back away from the table. Jeff's eyes bugged out as he and the rest of the study group pushed their chairs away from the study table, "What the hell!" He dropped his phone, mid-call to Annie, in the fire in the center. He got up to grab a coat from the couch and use it to put the fire out

 The Dean said with a voice of almost monotone, faux panic, "Oh, dear me! Jeffrey, your book is on fire. How will you study and pass your final if it is burnt to ash? Looks like you may have to stay another semester..."

"Why aren't the sprinklers going off!" Troy screamed.

"Budget cuts," The Dean replied.

"So, you can build that luxurious float, but can't afford sprinklers?" Troy asked.

Just as Jeff was about to use the coat in his right hand to put out the fire, Abed, with a rare moment of emotional exhibition, screamed, "NO, Jeff! STOP!" He ran over to one of the cabinets and grabbed a fire-extinguisher, effectively putting out the fire.

They all remained frozen in the room, observing Abed displaying what could only be called 'out of character.'

Britta smiled and exclaimed with her hands in the air, "Abed! This is a major breakthr-"

"Shut it, Mary Ainsworth!" Jeff glared at her, then walked over to the ashes of his History book, "What the hell am I going to do now! My phone and my History book!" He clenched his fists and began to walk with slow steps towards the Dean, who jumped on his cardboard 'Polar-dean Express,' and motioned for Garett to pull him out of the room. "Garrett! Run! Pretend the football team is going to put you into a locker!"

"Th-that's not going to motivate me," Garrett let out an exasperated gasp, "Confined sp-spaces make me feel safe."

"Oh, Look! Is that Heather Locklear!" The Dean said with fake enthusiasm.

"Where! I must go to her!" Garrett began to run faster, pulling the train shaped float away from the study room.

Jeff began to follow Garrett and the Dean out of the room.

"Jeff! Stop!" Abed exclaimed, "Here, take my book." Abed ran over to Jeff and gave him his book.

The anger on Jeff's face faded, "Are you sure, Abed?"

Abed nodded, "You need it more than I do."

Everyone gave a sigh of relief and took their seats.

Then, Annie, wearing pants, walked with a casual, slow pace into the study room. She knew she was late, it being an occurrence that only had happened six times in the past three and a half years. She would know this because she had counted the times herself. After sitting in her seat, she received questionable looks from the rest of the study group.

Annie's eyebrows rose as she looked at the pile of ashes in the middle of the table, "Oh my God! What happened?"

"The Dean tried to set Jeff's book on fire," Abed deadpanned.

"It was pretty intense," Troy nodded.

"When did we set something on fire? Did you guys do it yesterday without me?" Pierce asked.

Shirley shook her head, "It happened only a minute ago! Pierce are you alright?"

"Never better, Delores Etter," Pierce replied.

"Pierce," Annie tilted her head and bit her lip, "You remember who the Deputy under the Secretary of Defense for Science and Technology was when Bill Clinton was President, but you don't remember what happened five minutes ago?"

"No, I do. Did I say I didn't?" Pierce defended himself.

"How the hell does she know that?" Jeff murmured to himself.

"It's in my History notes, Jeff." Annie responded to his murmur, then said with a patronizing tone, "It should be in yours too. Wait a minute, you didn't take any, did you?"

"No, but thanks for answering my twenty text messages. I can tell this study meeting means a lot to you," Jeff said sarcastically, then asked with a serious tone, "Seriously though, where the hell were you?"

"Something came up," she replied with a dignified tone, "Something personal. Something that has nothing to do with anyone else here, okay?"

"Annie, are you wearing jeans?" Britta unfolded her arms and commented, "I didn't think you owned a pair of jeans."

Annie leaned back in her chair and rested her ballet-flatted feet on the table, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am wearing jeans. I bought some yesterday," she gave them an smile and replied with giddy excitement, "And guess what else?"

"They're serving Pizza in the cafeteria today? I knew it!" Troy cried with excitement.

"They better be," Abed commented, "Troy and I have been craving Pizza ever since last night when we watched _Dog Day Afternoon_ at three in the morning."

"Yeah, None of the pizza places in our delivery zone are open after two!" Troy complained.

"I'm not sure, Troy," Annie raised her eyebrows and let out a low whisper, "I didn't shave my legs this morning," while trying to suppress her smile, "I haven't forgone doing that every morning since rehab."

"Is that why the bathroom didn't smell like lilacs and lavender this morning?" Troy asked with disappointment, "I love lilacs. Did I just say that out loud? I mean lilacs are like you know...fl-ow-ers..."

“They’re technically a flowering shrub part of the olive family,” Britta said casually as she examined her cuticles. 

Everyone paused; giving Britta questionable looks. 

“What?” Britta shrugged. 

Pierce's eyes widened. He turned to Britta in a fiery rage, "You turned her? Didn't you? You tainted my little princess!"

Britta replied with a gentle smile, "I am not a lesbian. Also, you cannot 'turn,' a person gay. They are born that way."

"Pierce," Annie began, "I was just trying to emphasize that I am trying to be more carefree with my life."

"Oh okay, but I don't see how not shaving your legs helps..." Pierce crinkled his forehead, "You should take your top off or something."

"Pierce!" Shirley screamed.

"Hey!" Jeff yelled, then calmed himself to say, "Let's stop this nonsense that everyone here insists on calling 'conversation,' and start to study for this History final. If I don't get this History credit, then I have to stay here for another semester and I think we all know how the Dean has been gunning for me to slip up, so I won't graduate early," Jeff opened his book.

"Is 'slip up,' gay code for something?" Pierce asked.

"Would you shut it and stop being disgusting?" Shirley narrowed her eyes at Pierce.

"Or," Annie began and shrugged, "We could just continue talking?"

"Ooow!" Shirley exclaimed, "Ben threw a ball for the first time yesterday. A real ball, not some styrofoam thing." She took out her phone and began to show pictures to Annie.

"Awww," Annie fawned, "Look, he is holding the soccer ball above his head."

"O-kay," Britta announced, "This has officially become a waste of my time. I don't know about everyone else, but I also need to pass this History class."

"Thank you, Britta, but we all know you are one trigger word away from a rant that will waste our time even more," Jeff replied.

"He's right," Abed nodded.

'What?" Britta narrowed her eyes, "Trigger words?"

"Yeah, its the list of words we avoid saying, so you don't rant about things," Troy replied, then winced, "Whoops... I wasn't supposed to tell you about the actual list."

"There's a list?" Britta's mouth dropped open.

"Yeah. I have it right here," Abed opened his notebook and shared the page with Britta, "Whenever you began to rant, I would record the previous statement made by the other person and the subject of the rant. This evolved into a series of charts, which plotted what words set you off on rants."

She looked at the chart and began to read off the words, "Environment, rainforest, tree, Radiohead, paranoia, marijuana, The Middle East, meat, The Supreme Court, The Electoral College, police, handcuffs, unreasonable, searches, give me, marriage, the Constitution, Wall Street, 1984, orange- Abed, what the hell?"

Abed shrugged, "It seemed to help us all study and get along better. I started it when you and Troy were dating, so he wouldn't have to listen to your rants."

"Troy! Really?" Britta asked.

"Yea-sss," he replied with reluctance, "Like, you wouldn't shut up about certain things and I was just like, man this is like really painful to listen to. So one day, Abed said, 'hey I have an idea,' and it worked for the entire time we dated. I have a copy on my phone. I haven't had to use it as much since well, you know why."

"I can't believe this! You have a copy on your phone?"Britta asked. 

"We all do," Annie replied with a vacant, distracted voice, as she played a game on her phone, "I would show you mine, but I'm about to kick this person's butt in Words With Friends."

Pierce took out his Samsung Galaxy phone and commented, "Does anyone know how to get E-mail on this thing? So I can show Brittles my chart," He pressed a button and 'Time of The Season,' began to play.

"That's it!" Jeff exclaimed, "Everyone, phones away, trigger word charts away, sixties music away, bad attitudes away, we are now going to study! Open your freaking books and shut up!"

Everyone, except Annie, began to mutter to themselves as they opened their books.

"Annie?" Jeff asked and tilted his head at her.

"Jeff?" Annie mocked back, without taking her eyes off her phone.

"I thought we all agreed to put our phones away?"

" _We_ didn't agree on anything. _You_ told us what to do. You're not my dad. I don't need you to tell me when to study."

Jeff began to blink fast as he crossed his arms, "Excuse me?"

Britta's eyes widened as she bit her lip.Troy looked at Abed with a terrified expression. While Shirley covered her mouth and Pierce crinkled his forehead in confusion about what was going on.

Annie put her cell phone down on the table and glared at Jeff, "I'm not here to teach you an entire semester of History. It’s not my fault you didn't pay attention all semester. Because let's face it, I could get an easy 80 on this thing, with no studying at all."

"You're telling me that you don't care about getting an 'A'?" Jeff asked with suspicion, "You made us launch an investigation for a yam last year after you found out we were getting a 'C.' A yam for Christ's sake! And that was one assignment, not a final exam.”

Annie's phone vibrated on the table. She read the text before announcing, "There is pizza in the cafeteria! I have to go, like, now," and started to pack up all her stuff.

"Wait," Jeff said with frustration, "We need to study for History!"

"But there is pizza, Jeff," Annie shrugged before leaving the room.

Troy began to get up to follow her, but Jeff yelled, "No! We are not following her, it's exactly what she wants us to do!"

"Come on," Troy complained and sat back down, "Like, what are we gonna do now? None of us know how to study! She has all our notes! I don't take notes. I take naps and if we are gonna exploit Annie for hers, then it may as well be in a place that has pizza."

"He's right," Shirley said, "I can't fail. I need to finish school, so I'l have more time to spend with my boys. Its been really difficult with the sandwich shop and school."

"Don't worry, we'll figure something out," Jeff shook his head, "She's done this before. Remember when she got Chang fired? This is her selfish, manipulative attempt to keep the group together for another semester because she doesn't want me to graduate early."

"Typical," Britta scoffed.

"What? I'm right." Jeff shrugged, "We can study without her. Who else took notes this semester?"

Everyone remained silent.

"Awesome, nobody took notes this semester," Jeff declared with sarcasm.

Britta shook her head, "Jeff, have you thought for one minute that maybe Annie is going through some personal issues of her own? Which may have nothing to do with your narcissistic assumptions of her acting like this because you are graduating?"

"And here comes the realization," Abed commented.

Jeff scowled at Abed and threw his arms up in the air, "Fine! Go to the cafeteria and eat pizza with Annie. I am going to stay here and study because I am not flushing another four and a half months of my life down this toilet of a college."

Everyone, but Britta got up and left the study room. She glared at Jeff while he pretended to read his history book. After a minute, Jeff sighed and looked at her, "What?"

"I just told you what! That's what!"

"Why didn't you leave with everyone else and go eat pizza?"

"I think you know why."

"It's pepperoni day?" Jeff half-joked.

"Yeah," Britta sighed, then added, "and she needs to talk to someone."

"Why don't you talk to her then?"

"Because as a career slacker for the majority of my life, I am not the person to talk her out of simply not caring."

"It’s not that she doesn't care," Jeff began, "She is still going to get, like, a B+ in the class even if she fails the final."

"Please, talk to her..." Britta begged.

"Or what?" Jeff raised his eyebrows and tilted his head at her.

"Oh, I think you know what," Britta nodded at him, while raising her eyebrows back.

"I don't. I think I may need you to say it out loud. Otherwise, I may not consider the validity of the threat," Jeff shrugged with a smirk.

"You bastard," she replied, repressing a smile, "Just go."

He sighed, "Fine, but I'm not going after her right away. Then she will think she's won."

"Okay," Britta smiled, "Thank you." She grabbed her things and left Jeff alone in the study room.

* * *

 

  **12:05pm -The Greendale Cafeteria**

Annie, dressed in a prim, purple cardigan with her sleeves rolled up to reveal her bare forearms, and jeans, waited in line at the cafeteria to get pizza.

"Do you know what's so great about pants? They keep your legs completely covered. Wait, that's really not a good thing about pants, especially when you're the one who is wearing them,"a familiar voice behind her commented.

She rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder. "What to you want, Jeff?" she snubbed.

"I need to talk to you somewhere private," he grabbed the bare part of her arm with his right hand.

Annie instinctively pulled her arm away and said, "Yikes! Your hand feels cold."

He smirked for a moment while he hid his right arm behind his back, "Sorry, look I really need to talk to you. It's important. It's about us and what happened earlier."

"About us?" she asked. Her eyes became vulnerable as her head tilted to the left.

"Yeah, now come on. Let's find somewhere where we can talk, alone."

Annie gave him a slight smile and blushed, "Okay." She replied with a meek look and followed him out of the cafeteria. She looked him up and down, noticing that he changed into a black blazer and pants, and remarked with a small hint of disappointment, "Already did the midday wardrobe change?"

"Yeah, after the study meeting," he nodded, then added, "Too bad you weren't there to give me any input."

Annie responded with a slight, nervous laugh, "Yeah, too bad."

* * *

 

**12:10 pm- A Hallway in Greendale**

Britta walked out of the study room and into the hall. She planned to go out to her car and take a nap, until this whole studying issue was resolved. Then, a grey dress and blue cardigan wearing Annie approached her in the hallway.

"Oh hey, Annie, aren't you supposed to be getting pizza in the cafeteria to piss off Jeff?" Britta said casually, then looked her up and down to examine her friend's outfit, "Who died?"

"Nobody died," Annie narrowed her eyes at Britta and snapped, "Who said someone died?"

"Calm down. It was just a joke. When did you change back into a dress?" Britta's forehead crinkled.

"I didn't change. I think you may be confused."

"Stop messing with me, you were totally wearing jeans earlier," Britta let out a small laugh, then asked, "Did you end up getting pizza?"

"No...I just said that to piss off Jeff?" Annie tilted her head, saying it like a question, while she squinted at Britta.

"Good," Britta admitted and raised her eyebrows, "He's been such a selfish ass lately. I told him to talk to you."

"Awesome," Annie replied with sarcasm, then blurted out, "Oh, um, I need to talk to you privately."

"O-kay," Britta tilted her head in suspicion, "Are you sure you didn't change your outfit or something. I could have sworn you were wearing pants and a purple cardigan earl-" Before she could finish the sentence, Annie grabbed Britta by her jacket and pulled her into a utility closet, locking the door behind her.

"Ouch, what the hell was that?" Britta belted out, then noticed Annie locked the door. "Annie?" she asked. Her with eyes exhibiting her semi-terrified feelings. She then asked, her voice slow and apprehensive, "Why did you lock the door to the closet?"

"Because there is a conversation that you and I need to have," Annie crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Britta.

"And what is that?" Britta narrowed her eyes back at her.

"About you fucking Jeff," Annie raised her eyebrows at her

Britta began to blink fast and shook her head, "Annie, did you just say f-"

"Yes, 'fuck,' I don't see the problem. It's just a word, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. See? I'm just giving the censors something to do," she replied with carelessness, then said through gritted teeth, "Now, answer the question."

Britta took a deep breath, "Let's go and get some piz-"

"Don't avoid answering... Have. You. Been. Fucking. Jeff?" Annie raised her eyebrows at Britta and began to walk towards her with small, slow steps.

Britta began to back away from Annie when she saw the blind anger in her friend's eyes, "I-is this why you have been acting strange? I-I thought it was because you were having an existemtial crisis. Do you need to talk about what you're going to do?"

"Its existential! God you are such a fucking idiot!" Annie screamed, then pointed to herself, "Now answer me!”

She stared back at her friend with wide eyes and nodded, "Y-y-yeah, I-I have. Please, calm down."

Annie cornered Britta against the wall and looked her in the eyes with both of her hands cupping Britta's shoulders. Britta looked down at Annie's wrists and noticed the sleeves of her blue cardigan began to slide slightly down her arm, revealing a pink mark.

"Nervous? I can tell by the music. Now _listen_ , to what I have to say," Annie put her hand on Britta's cheek and pulled Britta's gaze away from her wrists. They were looking at each other directly in the eyes; their faces just inches apart. Annie took on a lighter tone and gave her a smile, "I'm your best friend, Britta. I mean, we're like sisters, right?"

A terrified Britta slowly nodded at the person she believed to be her friend.

"And sisters are supposed to look out for each other and tell each other the truth, right?"

"Yep, at least that's what they say on TV," Britta answered with a nervous gulp.

"Exactly," Annie let out a smug giggle, "Well, then I'm going to tell you the truth. I'm just looking out for you, okay?"

Britta nodded and slid her hand into her jacket pocket, to make sure her knife was still there. She did not, in any circumstance, want to hurt Annie. She knew she never would, but touching the handle of her switchblade gave her confidence and feigned the idea of safety to her.

"Do you think he's with you because you're special? Because you're the rabbit he's been chasing for three years? Because you're 'cool,' and 'worldly,' and 'original,'? Or that you two share a 'deep' understanding and connection with one another because you both had crappy parents? Well, news flash, Britta! We all did," Annie began to laugh nervously."

"Annie, is this about your pare-"

"No, we are not getting off track here, let's just face the truth now and save you from a whole world of hurt later on. You aren't special. You aren't the prettiest. No. You're a walking, generic, hipster, liberal nut job cliche. I mean, Troy didn't think you were special either. You think that because he sent you one nice text message, that he thought you were special? Well, guess what? He's said similar things to me too. You should hear that guy. He knows exactly how to make a girl feel awesome, especially when she's depressed and drunkenly leaning against a wall in her apartment building hallway. He did it because he knew what he could get from you because you give it to everyone."

"Please, Annie. Let's calm down and-" Britta closed her eyes.

"Now," Annie interrupted again, "Back to the original point. Jeff is with you because you will give it up to anyone. I mean hell, you were one more shot of vodka from hooking up with Starburns at Fat Neil's black light party. We all know if it wasn't broken up by the cops you would have slept with him because that's all you've been good for. For as long as you can remember..."

Britta opened her eyes, her voices cracked, "Annie, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, just listen. I haven't even begun to reach the core of your problem..."

* * *

 

**12:10 pm- The Other Hallway of Greendale**

Troy, dressed in his air-conditioning repair jumpsuit walked down the hallway. He went to the cafeteria to find Annie, but he saw her leaving with Jeff. While walking back to the Air-conditioning Repair Annex and eating a slice of pepperoni pizza, he commented to himself, "Man, I love pizza day."

"Who doesn't?" A voice said from behind him.

Troy turned around and saw his friend, "Abed! I thought you went to your locker. How did you get to this hallway?."

"I followed you. This school isn't a maze. There are like two hallways."

"Yeah, there really are, aren't there?" Troy nodded in agreement.

"I got a bootleg copy of _The Hobbit_ ," Abed dug a DVD out of his backpack, "We can watch it tonight."

"Awesome man!" Troy exclaimed and leaned in to give Abed their handshake-hug. As he leaned in, he noticed Abed smelled differently. Not like the body wash Annie got them at the grocery store, but like smoke, "Dude, were you smoking a cigarette, like a real cigarette, not a candy one?"

Abed tilted his head back at his friend, "I was getting into character."

"Cool! Well, not cool about the smoking!" Troy admitted, "But for what? I want in!"

"Let me show you," Abed raised his eyebrows at Troy and led him down the hallway.

Troy looked over at his friend as they walked down the hallway, "Hey, man, did you cut yourself shaving this morning? You have a little blood above your lip."

"Yeah, I did," Abed replied, his voice lower and more serious, "Thanks for telling me. You won't believe what I have to show you. Its cool, cool, cool."

* * *

 

**12:10pm- Shirley's Car**

Shirley drove herself and Britta down the highway, "Oh, Brit-ta, I am so relieved that you have finally agreed to accept Jesus Christ. I must say I was in slight disbelief at first when you found me in the parking lot. Also, I thought you stayed with Jeff in the Study Room. But now I am just so happy that now your soul will be saved."

Britta bit her nails and looked out the window with a listless look, "Yeah, me too."

"But, honey...You can't accept Jesus into your life with a hairstyle like that. We need to stop at a salon or something, so you can dye that blue streak out of your hair. I didn't even notice it in the study session earlier. Also, sweetie, those nails are not acceptable for church."

Britta winced and forced herself to say, "There's no time, Shirley. I need to accept Jesus now."

"You're right, you never know what could happen. Honey, you look pale. Like paler than normal." Shirley stopped at at stop sign and looked over at Britta in the passenger seat, "like almost translucent. Are you feeling okay?"

"I think I may just be car sick. Yeah. Car sick and stuff."

"Now what is the address of your friend's place of work?"

"Th-third and M-main," Britta stuttered.

"That's kind of a sketchy section isn't it?" Shirley asked in a low tone.

"Yeah, but we can't really judge where people live, right? I mean Annie lived above a se- I mean 'marital aid' store," Britta gave Shirley a forced smile.

"You're right," Shirley nodded and smiled, "I can't wait to see your face once you've truly accepted the Lord our Savior."

Tears began to flow out of Britta's eyes as her smile faded, "I-I can't do this...I am a horrible person. Please, take me back to Greendale."

'Wh-why?" Shirley asked.

Britta began to hyperventilate, "Please," she uttered through her tears, "Please, I need to find Jeff before-before..."

"Before what, honey?" Shirley said with intense concern as she began to turn her car around.

"Please! It’s probably already to late for her! She's in trouble!" Britta yelled through her tears, “We don't have much time! Take me back! We have to stop him and Abed!"

* * *

 

**12:30pm- A Hallway of Greendale**

Pierce left the study room and wen't to the cafeteria with everyone else. On the way there he became distracted when his phone began to ring, but he couldn't remember his pass key to unlock it. So, after fumbling with it in the hallway for twenty minutes, he finally unlocked it, only to discover the call to be from a telemarketer. Pierce made his way to the cafeteria and noticed that everyone had already left. He shook his head and decided to go home. On his way to the exit of the school, he saw an Annie wearing a grey dress come out from a janitor's closet. Her eyes lit up and she ran over to him, giving him a tight hug.

"Pierce! I knew it! I told the doctors, but they wouldn't believe me!" she exclaimed, with a tear escaping from the corner of her eye, "I can't even begin to tell you how great it is to see you!"

He gave her a smug laugh and said, "Annie, I just saw you a half hour ago."

"I just want you to know that you are important to the group and we would miss you if you were gone. We wouldn't be the same without you."

Pierce winced, as he was considering the possibility of leaving Greendale and retiring to some place warmer, like Burma or Hawaii. He was considering the beautiful paradise of Somalia, but his lawyer advised him out of it. He replied to her, "Thanks, Annie. Have I ever told you that you're my favorite?"

"Thanks, Pierce," she replied with a sniffle, "Everything is going to be better now. We aren't ever going to leave you out of things again. Everything will be the same. We will treat you better than they do. They don't deserve you."

He released her from the embrace and looked her, "Did you change your outfit?"

"No, you must be confused," she replied, "Everyone has been very confused. I never changed. Deep down this is what I’ve always felt."

"I have been a bit foggy today," Pierce admitted.

* * *

 

**12:35pm- A Hallway of Greendale**

Abed went to his locker after going to the cafeteria. By the time he got there to get pizza, Annie was gone. So, he left and for the past half hour he had been trying to find his missing bootleg copy of _The Hobbit_. He felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned around and saw Troy, with a whiteboard and a blue bandana hanging from his neck. Troy waved to him with a happy smile.

He tilted his head, "Hey, Troy. Why are you wearing a bandana around your neck? I thought you stopped wearing those when Britta started to."

Troy began to write on his whiteboard, " _When Britta stopped wearing them, it became cool again,_ " then shrugged.

Abed narrowed his eyes, "Okay, but what's with the whiteboard and the no talking."

Troy erased the sentence he had written previously and began to write something else. He showed the whiteboard to Abed, " _Buffy homage. 'Hush' is one of the single greatest episodes of a television series ever made."_

Abed cocked his head at him for a moment, then nodded back, "Yeah, it is. Almost as good as 'Chuckles Bites the Dust' from The _Mary Tyler Moore Show_."

Troy erased the sentence and wrote on his whiteboard, " _Let's go somewhere where we can pay homage to it._ "

"I can't now," Abed replied, "I have to go edit some film."

Troy wrote down on his whiteboard, " _Can I come too?_ "

"No," Abed shook his head, "it’s a surprise." Then turned around and began to walk back to the study room with a brisk pace.

* * *

 

**12:45: The Study Room/Greendale Hallway**

Jeff sat in the study room, alone, reading his History textbook, "So, James Madison wrote the Constitution and-"

"Jeff!" Abed exclaimed as he ran into the study room.

"Abed, can't you see I'm trying to study! I have to learn the entirety of U.S. History in like twenty hours."

"There's an emergency! We're in trouble!"

"If this is you trying to make me pay 'homage' to something with you...it’s not going to happen."

"You don't understand! The Dark Study group has crossed over and they're trying to take over our lives!"

"There are no other freaking Timelines! I can't take this! I'm going home to study."

Jeff packed his stuff up and began to walk down the hallway. Abed followed him.

"Jeff, I am serious. We're all in trouble...especially Annie."

"And why is Annie in trouble?" Jeff asked with indifference.

"Because they are going to drive her insane."

"This...is stupid," Jeff nodded, then began to walk faster away from Abed, who kept up with his pace. He yelled back at Abed, "Stop following me!"

On their way towards the library doors, they saw Britta, who was looking at a strand of her hair as she played with it in her hands. Jeff saw her and walked over to her, "Britta, would you like to get out of this place of utter ridiculousness and 'study' with me?"

She looked up at him with a frown, like she was about to cry and shook her head.

"Are you okay?" Jeff asked with a gentle voice and gave her compassionate grasp on her shoulder; caressing her with the circling of his thumb

"Please, stay away from me," she uttered, shaking his hand off her shoulder, "I-I don't wan't to see or 'study' with you anymore."

"What? Why?" Jeff's mouth dropped open as Britta began to walk away from him, 'What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Wait," Abed, interrupted their conversation before Jeff would answer her, "Britta, you need to tell us what happened. We are all in serious danger. Did someone talk to you?"

She winced and nodded, "I-I'm gonna go. I can't bare to be here."

“Wait," Abed said again and put his hands on her shoulders, "Who talked to you? Who made you so upset?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Was it someone in the study group?"

She didn't say anything.

"Who was it? Was it Shirley?"

She shook her head,

"Troy?"

She shook her head again.

"Jeff?"

"No," she responded, her gaze moving towards the floor.

"Annie?" Abed tilted his head at her.

"Yeah," her voice cracked.

"Was anything about her, 'off'?"

"She was acting strange, but, like, she's been acting strange with her stupid quarter life crisis all week. So, I didn't think anything was wrong, but then I noticed she was wearing her clothes differently and she said the most horrible things to me. She was just so angry. So angry."

"See, Jeff." Abed said and turned to Britta, "Britta, that wasn't really Annie. It was her Dark Counterpart."

"Abed, it was Annie! We've been over this before! There are no other Timelines!" Britta yelled back at him.

Shirley walked into the school and noticed Abed and Jeff talking to a distressed Britta.

"Britta! Honey! Thank God, I found you! Are you okay? I was so worried when you ran out of the car in the parking lot. You looked so upset. What happened to your hair?"

"I didn't go into a car with you," Britta narrowed her eyes at Shirley, "and I haven't changed my hair."

"Yeah, you did. Part of it was blue before." Shirley responded.

Jeff looked at Abed, who nodded back at him.

"Britta," Jeff's eyes widened, "That wasn't Annie. She was lying to you. Abed, we need to find Annie, now!"

"Troy," Abed uttered, "I need to find Troy! Jeff, go get Annie, she's probably in the Drama Department costume closet." Jeff nodded and began to run down the hallway.

Abed turned to Britta, "Britta, text Troy and ask him where he is."

"Okay," she began to type on her phone and waited for a response. "He said he's in the Central air room below the cafeteria. Apparently _you_ made it into a giant Dreamatorium."


	3. Unfinished Speeches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much has changed in this chapter from the original.

**The Prime Timeline**

**December 11, 2012**

**12:55pm- A Hallway in Greendale**

Evil Jeff, with his right arm around an empty-eyed and messy-haired Annie, escorted her out of the Drama Department costume closet. His left arm was hidden in the right side of his sports-coat jacket.

"Remember," Evil Jeff whispered into her ear as they waked down the hallway, "You try any of your little karate moves or say anything to anyone, he's gone the second he tries to rescue you and we all know he will because you're the one person he cares the most about. I mean, I would know, right? I am a version of him, after all. Why do you think I'm doing all of this in the first place? Doesn't look like you have the energy to do or say much anyway, huh? Not after our little talk and such. I mean after you broke down in there, you haven't been able to say a word since, have you?"

The purple cardigan wearing Annie whimpered, "Y-you're a rrr..." and shook her head, with a vacant stare at the ground.

"I thought so," Evil Jeff replied; still whispering in her ear, "I knew that would have that effect on you. I just hope you know, I didn't want to do that. You were just so beautiful, so beautiful, before it all.  So believe me when I say that it was difficult. I really didn't want to take the light out of your eyes because I've missed it so much, but this is the only -"

"Jeffrey!"

Evil Jeff looked up from whispering in Annie's ear, to see the Dean running over to him and Annie. "Just what we fucking need," he said under his breath.

The Dean forced a smile and gave him a nervous laugh, "I hope you're not mad about earli- Annie! Are you o-"

"She's fine," Evil Jeff interrupted with haste.

"She doesn't look fine," the Dean waved his hand in front of Annie's face and received no response, "She's like a zombie or a shell of a person. She didn't happen to eat any taco meat did she?"

"No. She's having a little emotional problem. I'm taking care of it," Evil Jeff replied and started to walk away.

"I think she might need to see Nurse Jackie," the Dean yelled back at him, "What if she ate the taco meat I was stockpiling in the cafeteria!"

Evil Jeff turned his head, forced a smile, and told a partial lie, "She just had to speak with her mother this morning about money for Grad school. It didn't really work out. I'm taking her home." Evil Jeff began to walk away from the Dean faster; ignoring his comments.

While walking down the hallway, Evil Jeff leaned down and whispered into Annie's ear again, laughing, "How was that little chat with Mommy this morning? Didn't go so well, did it? I could tell when I was watching from the distance. Did I tell you that I've been watching you? It was so refreshing to see you happy. You see, Our Annie is not a very happy person. She's dead inside. Just like you are now."

Annie didn't respond as he led her down the stairs to the Central Air Room below the cafeteria. He led her through the doors to be welcomed by Evil Annie and Evil Shirley.

"Oh my God..." Evil Annie's eyes widened. She covered her mouth with her hand as she saw the shell of a person the pants wearing Annie had become. Evil Annie walked up to her good counterpart and caressed her cheek with the back of her hand. Annie shut her eyes and turned away from her Evil counterpart to sit down in a corner and stare at a wall. 

Evil Annie looked up at Evil Jeff and stuttered while pointing at her counterpart, "Wh-wha-what the fuck did you do to her? H-how did you make her like I was before Abed wrote me the letters?"

"I told you to not worry about it!" Evil Jeff snapped back at her, "Where the hell is Britta? She should be back by now!"

Evil Annie rolled her eyes, then shook her head. She meandered around Evil Jeff while grazing her hand across his left shoulder then down his back. Eventually her hand made its way to his abdomen. From behind him, she wrapped her arms around his waist; pressing her body against his back. Her hands found their way to his belt buckle, but Evil Jeff took her hands and shooed them away.

He closed his eyes as he let out a long sigh, "Annie, as much as it pains for me to say this...stop trying to seduce me and tell me where Britta is."

Evil Annie turned her back to him, crossed her arms, and replied, "Troy texted me...apparently he found her trying to get to the Drama Department's costume closet to stop you."

Evil Jeff sighed again, "Please tell me that he has her."

She turned around, uncrossing her arms and replied, "Don't worry he does, but like I said, if you only would have let me-"

"NO! You are not, under any circumstances, killing Our Britta!" Evil Jeff replied through gritted teeth, "Drop the subject!"

"Hmmph," Evil Annie crossed her arms and pouted under her breath, "It’s only because you're fucking her."

"Is Abed where he needs to be?" Evil Jeff asked as he rubbed his forehead.

"Yeah," she sighed, "he dropped Lame Troy off here first. We have him tied to a chair, over where the boilers are. He's still passed out from the chloroform."

"Good. Tie Lame Annie up too. We can still do this, even if Britta did almost mess up the plan. Now, we all know that Lame Jeff is going to try to rescue Lame Annie. There’s also no way for anyone to contact him because his phone died in that fire. So Our Abed will confront him in the Drama Costume Closet. He comes to rescue Lame Annie. Lame Abed, Lame Britta and Lame Shirley are already on their way here. This is good," Evil Jeff nodded and put his left hand on Evil Annie's cheek; rubbing is thumb against her soft skin "Now, remember, you have to listen to every word I say for this to work, got it?"

She looked back up at him with a small smile as she allowed her hand to caress his silk tie, "I understand."

"Are you ready to do what I told you to?"

She nodded back at him.

"That's my girl. Now tie Lame Annie up to the chair next to Lame Troy. I think I hear someone coming down the stairs."

* * *

 

**1:07pm- GCC Drama Department's Costume Closet**

Jeff bursted through the door to the costume closet, "Annie!" he yelled, "Annie! Are you in here!"

"Lame Annie is not here," a calm, low voice replied from behind one of the clothing racks.

Jeff turned around to see an Abed wearing a felt beard appeared from behind the clothing rack. "Abed?"

"Its Evil Abed. You see, I did have a real goatee, but I had to shave it off for this plan to work."

“Where is she? Where is Annie?"

"So, now you're in a rush to find her?" Evil Abed said with sarcasm, "Is it because the stakes have gotten higher? Is it because the damsel is in distress? You think the hero always wins? Because that's not always the case..."

"Just tell me where she is! I swear to God I will kill y-"

"Ahem," Evil Abed put one finger up in the air to silence Jeff then shook his head to laugh, "Its too late, you know...Beware, your stubbornness will always be your downfall, Jeff Winger. You were born to be a liar and although you may not lie to your friends as you did before, you will always lie to yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't want her to win. That's why you stayed in the study room instead of going after her, but now you both have lost. Go. See for yourself. She's in the Central Air Room below the cafeteria."

Jeff looked at Evil Abed for a moment, without saying a word.

"Do you know why he's doing all of this?" Evil Abed asked him.

"Who?"

"Your counterpart."

"Because he wants my life?" Jeff shrugged; looking at Evil Abed with a disgusted face, "I don't know. I just want to find Annie.

"Its because he loves her and you do too. I can tell."

"Who’s her? I have no freaking clue what you are talking about. I’m not letting you distract me!," Jeff yelled, then darted out of the room. His Prada loafers caused him to slide on the floor from the lack of traction as he turned into the hallway.

* * *

 

**1:07pm- A Hallway/ Right Outside the Door to the Central Air Room**

"Brit-ta, I do not think we should go down there!" Shirley cringed.

"Shirley, what choice do we have? This is where Abed ran to," Britta replied, "Troy and Abed could be in serious trouble and there is no way for us to contact Jeff!"

"We need to call the police!"

"And tell them what? Our Evil twins are trying to kill us?" Britta opened the stairwell door, started to walk down the stairs, and said with sarcasm, "I'm sure that will work. Sounds like a great idea, Shirley." Britta then added with a snicker,"...I mean only in a world where Troy is a professional rapper and I wen't to Juilliard."

"Why, why oh Lord can I not live a normal, quiet life?" Shirley looked up into to sky and asked.

* * *

 

**1:17pm-** **The Central Air Room Below the Cafeteria**

Jeff wandered into what at first looked like a giant room painted in a green and white plaid pattern. As he walked closer into the middle of the room, he saw an Annie, in a grey dress, standing in the middle of the room.

"Jeff!" she exclaimed and then ran over to him; embracing him to almost the point of suffocation and her right hand squeezing his right bicep,"Thank God you’re here!" Jeff closed his eyes for a moment in relief that she was fine, but he didn’t realize she was wearing different clothes.

"I'm sorry, if before it seemed like I was using you for notes because I don’t mean do that, Annie. I just didn't want to have what could have been possibly our last study meeting without you."

As Jeff buried his face into Annie's hair, he heard her mutter, "Render enviornment..."

The song 'Sweet Thing,' began to play. Then, Jeff opened his eyes and the room was no longer walled with a green and white plaid pattern, but he was in a sixties styled living room. He grasped Annie's shoulders and pushed her away, so he could see what she looked like. Her lips were red and her hair was teased. She wore a floral printed dress and pearls. He looked down at himself, in a grey suit and a skinny tie, his hair parted to the side and combed out.

"Two references at once. They think they're just _so_ clever,"Annie shook her head, while rolling her eyes.

"Annie? What the hell is going on?" He looked around the room, "Where is that music coming from? Where the hell are we?"

"Nothing," Annie answered, the tone of her voice lower, "you just came home from work. I made you dinner. I hope you're hungry. Its steak."

"Wh-what?"

She grabbed his hand and looked up at him with a frown. Her eyebrows crinkled, "Isn't this what you want?"

He tilted his head at her. His brow furrowed and he bit his lip.

She placed his right hand on her cheek and kissed his wrist, "Jeff, I know this is what you want. If only this were a drama, we would have already been together...Well as long as it’s not one of those _X-files_ rip-offs."

Jeff looked at Annie's wrists and noticed a long, pink, vertical scar. He tilted his head, realizing that this was not Annie, well at least not _His_ Annie, and lied, hoping to outsmart her, "First of all, _Castle_ and _Bones_ are great shows...Second, the _X-files_ essentially ripped off _Moonlighting_ and...yes, this is what I want."

A smile traced its way across her lips, "Good. I thought so." Evil Annie looked up at him and kissed him. He opened his eyes. Before he knew it, Jeff was back in his normal clothes in a green and white plaid room, kissing Evil Annie.

Evil Annie pulled away and gave him a smirk. Jeff heard the music stop and someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned around, only to feel like he was looking in a mirror. "Wha-" Jeff tried to say. He stood frozen, stunned from looking at his counterpart in the eyes.

"Hey there, buddy. Having fun playing house? Your wife sure is a looker," Evil Jeff joked before suddenly shoving a chloroformed rag into Jeff's face; causing him to pass out.

* * *

 

**1:45 pm**

Jeff woke up laying face down on the floor with a headache and a bruise on his jawline. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. Looking up, he heard the whimpers of his friends and saw that they had been tied to chairs, their mouths gagged with bandanas. Jeff got up and untied them all.

"What happened to you guys?" Jeff asked as he untied Abed.

"Well," Abed began, "Troy followed Evil Abed here. I followed Troy here and Britta and Shirley followed me here. They chloroformed us and we woke up tied to the chairs."

Jeff began to untie Britta and asked, 'Why didn't they tie me up?"

"I don't know," Abed replied as he helped Troy out of his chair.

After untying Shirley, Jeff was about to untie Annie, who started to close her eyes shut and began to shake her head. She started thrashing about in her chair. Jeff backed away, confused by what he did. Shirley ran over to her and untied her instead. Once free, Annie cowered on the ground, in fear of Jeff.

Britta looked at Annie cowering on the ground and then grabbed a strand of her blonde hair to look at. Shirley walked over to Annie and helped her up. She clung to Shirley's arm, burying her face so she could not see.

"Act three will now reach its climax," They heard a voice echo, which sounded like Abed's, "Stay tuned for the stakes to get higher and for emotions to go off the rails. Will the protagonist Jeff Winger succeed? Will he get the girl? Also the reveal of a betrayer amongst the Study Group."

The rest Dark Study Group emerged into sight. Evil Britta, with her blue streaked hair, had her mouth gagged with a blue bandana. A depressed Evil Troy restrained her from moving.

Evil Jeff released a short, snarky laugh, pointed towards Evil Britta and shrugged, "She almost Britta'd it. So we had to restrain her."

"If you and Troy would have only let me take care of the problem earlier, then we wouldn't be in this predicament!" Evil Annie complained, "She betrayed us! Abed was right."

"For the millionth time! No one is killing Our Britta!" Evil Jeff yelled, "She will adjust."

Evil Annie crossed her arms and remarked, "It’s only because you are fucking her. In both of these timelines, too, I may add."

"Both timelines? Dude, really?" an air-conditioning repair jumpsuit wearing Troy shook his head at Jeff, "Britta and I only broke up, like, three weeks ago!" To which Jeff shrugged back.

"Troy, you already have a new girlfriend," Britta replied, while still looking at a lock of her blonde hair.

"Can we please set our personal problems aside for one moment and carry out the task at hand?" Evil Abed complained.

"He-he's rrright," Evil Shirley slurred with her eyes half-opened as she leaned against the wall and passed out.

"You wackos are not getting away with this!" Jeff yelled.

"Oh, we will. Just watch," Evil Jeff said and walked over to the Prime Study Group on the other side of the room. He walked over to a cowering Annie, as she hugged a sober Shirley's arm tightly. Evil Jeff gave her a smug smile as he pushed the hair away from her face with his mechanical hand, "Did you miss me, sweetheart?"

Annie shuddered and closed her eyes.

"It will be okay, honey," Shirley whispered into Annie's ear.

"I thought so," Evil Jeff turned to the Prime Study Group and raised his eyebrows at them.

"What did you do her?"Jeff screamed,"I'm going to-"

" _I_ wouldn't," Evil Jeff replied and put his hand up in defiance, "Milady, come over here."

Evil Annie walked over to Evil Jeff. He put his real arm around her shoulders and said, "Would you show our 'good,' counterparts what I gave you?" She took out a gun from her sweater and pointed it at the Prime Study Group.

"She's a good shot," Evil Jeff said with a snarky laugh, then added with a serious tone, "You don't want to piss her off."

"She should be afraid of guns," Abed remarked, "After what happened in your timeline-"

"Well, she doesn't think it’s real, Lame Abed. To her the gun doesn't mean anything. You guys don't mean anything. Our Abed somehow convinced her that-something about hearing music playing in the background. I don't really know," Evil Jeff laughed as he shrugged.

Abed's eyes widened, "Do what they say, guys."

"And Abed always knows what is going on, doesn't he?" Evil Jeff remarked and then said in a patronizing tone, "I would listen to him if I were you. And I kind of am."

Abed whispered over to Britta, "Britta, do not move. Evil Annie has aim right on your head."

Britta's eyes widened as she let go of her strand of blonde hair and gasped, 'What?"

"Shh," Abed said back, "Just don't piss her off."

Evil Jeff then turned to Evil Abed, "Abed, would you do the honors?

Evil Abed commented, "I'm really loving this Evil robotic armed Jeff. He is full of confidence and lacks morals. Definitely more of a Michael Douglas character than a Bill Murray one,"

"I'd say an Anthony Hopkins," Abed deadpanned.

"William Forsythe," Troy added.

"Alan Rickman," Abed tilted his head with wide eyes and pointed at Troy.

"Dude! How did we forget him?" Troy asked, "I mean like if Evil Jeff had a real Goatee, then it would be perfect! It would be just like Di-"

"Enough!" Evil Jeff yelled, "Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Now!"

"Well, excuse us," Britta, who had forgotten about dying her hair, scoffed, which resulted in Evil Annie to cock the gun at her.

"Oh, Lord," a sober Shirley remarked as she enacted the sign of the cross, "Please tell me this is not real."

"G-god is not gon-na helllp you ho-honey," the drunken Evil Shirley rolled her eyes.

Britta's eyes bugged out and she remarked, "I mean, Evil Annie, have I told you how awesome that grey dress looks on you?"

"Just the fuck shut up and don't insult Our Jeff," Evil Annie threatened, "Also, I prefer Dark Annie... I don't consider myself Evil"

"Of course you aren't," Britta forced a smile replying with a nervous laugh.

Evil Abed then walked over to Troy, taking a Norwegian Troll doll out of his pocket. He set it down on the ground, so it was looking Troy in the eyes.

Troy's eyes widened before he let out a constrained, high pitched scream and hugged Britta, "It’s going to be fine, don't look at it," she whispered and rubbed his back.

Evil Britta, who began to struggle out of Evil Troy's grasp, kicked him in the shin with her high heeled boots. Evil Troy let out a yelp and started hopping on one foot. Evil Britta untied the bandana around her mouth and started to run over to a crying Troy. She felt someone grab her arm and stop her. It was Evil Jeff.

"Please," Evil Britta pleaded, "We just have to send them over there, so we can take over their lives. We don't have to make them like us too."

"Britta, stop interfering," Evil Jeff tilted his head at her, still with his tight grasp on her arm, "And don't even think about grabbing that knife out of your pocket."

"Come on man," the shrill voice of Evil Troy said, "She's right."

"Troy, did I ask for your input?" Evil Jeff snapped.

Evil Abed then took out a battery powered bone-saw and started to walk over to Jeff.

"What is he doing?" Evil Annie said with a shaky, panic ridden voice and started to lower her gun.

"Yeah, what is he doing?' Jeff panicked with wide-eyes.

Evil Britta began to laugh. She looked over at Evil Annie, "They never told you, did they?"

"Told me what?" Evil Annie said through gritted teeth.

"They're gonna cut his arm off, so he'll be just like Our Jeff," Evil Britta replied as she tried to pull her arm away from Evil Jeff's grip, muttering under her breath to Evil Jeff, "Asshole."

"No!" Evil Annie exclaimed. She ran over to Prime Jeff and stood in front of him, "You are not touching him! You are not ruining him for me!" She pointed her gun at Evil Abed.

"Women," Evil Jeff muttered and shook his head, "Abed, stop."

Evil Abed turned the battery powered saw off.

"Alright, we won't hurt them," Evil Jeff sighed, "Abed, take away the stupid troll doll."

"Fine, but it’s less fun this way and really anticlimactic," Evil Abed replied picked up the Norwegian Troll doll and put it in his pocket.

Evil Britta looked up at Evil Jeff and scoffed, "Of course you stop everything when she asks."

"Can we talk about this later?" Evil Jeff asked, then rose his voice, 'Because if you haven't noticed we are all kind of busy right now! Abed, hold Britta for a moment."

Evil Jeff walked over to Evil Annie, who was standing in front of Jeff and the rest of the Prime Study Group. He offered his hand to her and said, "Come here."

"No! You promised me!" Evil Annie yelled back.

"What did he promise you, Annie?" Abed asked from behind her shoulder.

"Ignore him, Annie," Evil Jeff replied through gritted teeth, "The plans have changed...Don't you wan't to be together?"

Evil Annie looked back and forth between the two Jeffs. She looked at Evil Jeff and addressed him, "You-you're with Britta."

"Correction, I _was_ with Britta. She almost ruined our plans. Why would I still want her now?" Evil Jeff replied and caressed her cheek with his real hand, "Come on. He doesn't understand you like I do. I know exactly what you want. Remember I said I would take care of you? _I_ love you. He doesn't. Now take my hand and come over to our side of the Dreamatorium with me."

"O-okay," Evil Annie half heartedly replied. She looked behind her at the Prime Study group, to give Britta a scowl, but instead gave a weak smile to Jeff and remarked, "If you listen very closely, for the music, you will realize the truth." She took Evil Jeff's hand and wen't over to their side of the Dreamatorium. He leaned down and pecked her on the lips as one of the walls disappeared and turned into a portal of white light.

"Now," Evil Jeff began, while he took the gun out of Evil Annie's hand, then pointed it at the Prime Study Group, "I would hate to shoot any you, especially since Our Britta has just grown _so_ attached to you guys, but I really can't go on living in that timeline anymore. I can't have Our Annie living in that timeline anymore. It’s just not good for her well being or her future. So go into that white light and don't come back unless you want a bullet in you."

"What about Shirley?" Evil Britta interjected, "You said that you were doing this for everyone."

"Britta," Evil Jeff began as he turned his back to Evil Annie. He gave Evil Britta a wink "I thought I told you this wasn't the time."

"Okay," Evil Britta nodded back at him, understanding what the wink meant.

"This can't be real," Jeff started to laugh," There is no way in hell that this is real," he turned to Britta, who was still consoling Troy, "Please, pinch me or something or tell me that you somehow convinced me to take shrooms with you."

"Its real, Jeff," Troy nodded and gulped, "Don't test them."

"Is this real enough for you?" Evil Jeff sighed, then shot at Jeff's arm; the bullet just skimming the skin off.

"Fuck!" Prime Jeff yelled then said in a high pitched voice, "Okay, okay this is real."

Britta glared at Evil Jeff, "I am _not_ going!" she declared with a gulp and crossed her arms, "Do you think I'm scared of you? Of a gun in 'Dark' Jeff Winger's hands? Please, like you have any aim. Besides I've been in worse situations before. I mean this one time after this Radiohead show in New Yor-"

"Uggghh," Everyone from both study groups began to groan.

"That is a great story!" Evil Britta remarked as she tried to squirm out of Evil Abed's grip.

"I'm going to count to three, there will be no four," Evil Jeff warned.

"Dude!" Troy exclaimed, "You are legit, exactly like-"

"Didn't I tell you to shut the hell up!" Evil Jeff yelled then pointed at the wall emitting the white light, "Now go!"

Jeff ushered Annie and Shirley into the light. Abed nodded to Troy, who nodded back, and both went through together.

"Britta," Jeff said and offered his hand, "Come on, there's nothing we can do"

"No, Jeff," Britta shook her head.

"I'm not letting you get shot," Jeff replied, "Despite how sarcastic he is being, he is dead serious. I can tell. Please come with us. We'll figure something out after."

* * *

 

**2:55pm- The Dark Timeline- Jeff Winger's Living Room.**

As Britta and Jeff emerged through the white light, they found themselves in a bizarre version of Jeff's living room, with a blanket fort consuming half of the space. Jeff and Britta heard a crash and looked behind them at the Dreamatorium.

"It’s broken," Abed declared.

The study group sat around Jeff's living room with listless, hopeless looks on their faces. Abed stared at the broken Dreamatorium as Annie hugged his arm; her eyes focusing on Jeff's bland, tan carpet. Shirley clutched her purse to her chest; the only thing she had from their former lives and enacted the sign of the cross. Troy laid on the couch and closed his eyes. Although he managed to cross over to the Dark Timeline with his voice-box intact, he knew they would never be able to return back.

Britta took out a cigarette from one of the cartons on the table and lit it up. She walked into the kitchen and took out a bottle of scotch from Jeff's cabinet. Jeff sat on one of the stools around his kitchen's island. He pulled his sport jacket off and then his dress shirt to observe the cut on his right arm. His gaze shifted from the cut on his arm over to a lava lamp on his table which was enshrined with many pictures of Pierce. Jeff shook his head and watched Britta take out six glasses and begin to pour scotch into them. He walked over to her and grabbed her wrist with a gentle, loving touch and shook his head.

She looked up at him and crinkled her forehead, "Why not?" she asked; shaking her head in confusion.

"Because we are too good for this."

"Jeff, there isn't anything left! WE are stuck here!" Britta began to sob. Her lips clenched together in attempt to suppress her oncoming tears, "And there is nothing we can do! They did it. They got us stuck here and they drove Annie crazy. I mean what the fuck did he do to her? She can barely speak! Now what the hell are we supposed to do? Huh? Huh, Jeff? It’s not like we can go back and stop it!"

"This isn't going to stop us," Jeff declared, pointing down at the ground in determination, "WE are too good for this. WE are not letting getting sent to the dark timeline drive us to what happened to them. WE are too good for that- for this. WE are going to make our lives better, because WE aren't them."

Annie and Abed turned around. Troy opened his eyes as he laid on the couch. Shirley loosened her grip on her purse; lowering it to the ground.

Jeff walked into the middle of his living room area, while Britta followed, clutching the bottle of scotch by its neck.

"Shirley, you are not a drunk," Jeff pointed at her with clenched teeth.

"No, I am not," she nodded. He her voice was confident and her eyes were determined.

"And you ARE getting your kids back in this timeline! Just because Evil Shirley lost them doesn't mean you can't get them back! Got it?"

Shirley nodded back to him, "I will get them back because I am not a worthless drunk."

Jeff pivoted around and faced Britta. He placed both hands on her shoulders to look her in the eyes. "You are awesome. Got that? Even the Evil version you is pretty awesome."

Britta's eyes widened as she allowed herself a smile.

"And you are becoming a psychologist because even though you may suck at handling your own problems, you are damn good at helping other people solve theirs. Got it?"

Britta nodded back at him. Jeff caressed the sides of her arms and hugged her, before walking over to Annie, who still stared at the ground with little emotion.

"Annie?"

Her eyes slowly shifted towards Jeff. He then noticed the state she was in. Her posture no longer perfect and perky. He shoulder's slouched which made her look shorter and older. Locks of brown hair fell across her right eye. Jeff bit his lip before walking over to her and giving her an embrace.

"Annie," he began again. He whispered into her ear, "Whatever he said to you is not true. I swear it."

"I-it was his arm," Annie's voice cracked, "After, after we...he-he told me th-that he w-was, he w-was- that ev-everyone w-was" She couldn't finish the sentence and began to sob.

Jeff hugged her tightly, still whispering to her, "Please, Annie, please try. Try to come back and be like you were before. It wasn't me who said those things to you-who manipulated you into thinking whatever you're thinking right now. It was the other Jeff, the Evil one, and he was wrong."

She stopped crying. "I-I-I ne-need some help, Jeff. I-I-I ne-need to go to a hospital," she replied with a distant, low, shaky voice. Jeff laughed out of his nervousness, thinking how even when she was going mad, Annie was practical.

“And to think I was worried about some stupid History final. We can't send you to a hospital. We need you Annie. We can't end up like them. Can you try? Please?"

"I d-d-don't know. I c-c-can try, but-but I don't think I will be much help. I need to,-to go to a hos-spital, Jeff. They will make me better."

As Britta watched Jeff clench Annie tighter, she closed her eyes, and turned her back to them; going back into the kitchen area.

"No, they won't!" Jeff rubbed his forehead, before clinging to her tighter, "You can't end up like her. The hospital didn't help her at all."

"I need ps-s-sychiatric help," she declared before tearing up again and burying her face in his chest, "I-I-I jussst feel so scared. I-I might hurt myself, Jeff. I m-might do bad things. I have horrible, horrible thoughts," she grabbed his shirt with both her hands, bunching the cotton in her fists.

"We can help you. We know what you need, Annie. We can help you. Please, try and stay. We will take care of you. I'll take care of you. I won't let you do anything bad to yourself."

"You-you promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

She paused for a moment and remained silent. "I'll s-s-stay. I'll try to-to-to get better here. I-I-I don't think I can though, but I will try. Please, pl-please take care of me, Jeff."

"I will,"Jeff kissed her on the forehead, while stroking her hair and then turned to Abed, "Abed we are not rebuilding that thi-"

"Thing. It has practically ruined our lives." Abed began in a monotone voice, "Everything has gone wrong and we are stuck in the Dark Timeline, where we are all broken. The only good thing is that Pierce is not here, well, at least not in a form that isn't a lava lamp.’ Was that what you were about to say, Jeff?"

"Abed? How did you know what I was about to say?" Jeff asked and froze up in his embrace with Annie.

"I can't take it anymore. I cant take it anymore. I can't take it anymore," Abed repeated while walking in circles.

"Annie, honey, are you sure that you're the one who needs psychiatric help?" Shirley asked.

"He broke Abed!" Troy cried form the couch.

"Jeff," Abed began, "How many times do you think that you've made this speech?"

"Um, never. I have never made this speech before. What are you getting at?" Jeff removed Annie from his embrace, keeping an arm around her shoulder.

Troy got of the couch and tilted his head at Abed, confused about what he meant.

"Jeff, you have made this speech over thirty times and I can't stand listening to it once more. Please, listen to me. We only have one more minute before the tag."

"The tag?" Jeff tilted his head at Abed and his eyes began to blink fast in attempt to control his anger.

"Listen! We keep repeating. We are in re-runs now. You make the speech and then we get sent back. We get sent back to the first day of our study group meeting. Every time. None of you guys have figured it out. The tag is of the Prime Timeline with our Dark Counterparts in our place, while the joke is that Pierce doesn't even notice the change."

"And why do we get sent back Abed? This is nonsense." Jeff replied, while clenching his fists.

"As much nonsense as a real Dark Timeline? Why do you think we get sent back?" He titled his head back at Jeff.

After listening to Abed, Britta tuned out for a minute as she watched the group from afar at the kitchen island. She didn't care to hear Jeff yell at poor Abed, as he was just reacting to their damnation. The sound from her friends' mouths seemed to be muted. She could see Jeff yelling and pointing at Abed, then Annie screaming at Jeff, but she couldn't hear them. She remembered Evil Annie saying, _"If you listen very closely, for the music, you will realize._ " Then she heard the plucking of guitar strings. It was like that music they played on TV shows when something emotional happened. She couldn't remember what it was called. Britta also recalled Evil Annie's strange comment in the closet about censors and her smug smile about how sisters act on television.

"Holy shit!" Britta announced. She shook her head and crinkled her forehead before erupting in a fit of nervous laughter.

Everyone stopped yelling and looked at Britta.

She walked over to Abed and said, "The... the tests. Abed, you are the only sane one, aren't you?"

"Really, Britta?" Abed asked before looking down at the ground, "I've never almost convinced you before."

"Yeah, you've known the entire time haven't you?" Britta asked.

Abed nodded back to her.

"Oh my freaking God," Britta gasped and sat down on a recliner. The group looked at her with confused and concerned looks.

"Really? I am the only one to understand what Abed is saying? Me, of all people? I mean, hell, if a 'dark,' timeline is real then why can't this be real?" She chuckled to herself.

"Britta, please explain," Jeff pushed.

"It’s why we all have felt, 'off,' this year, Its why Abed is the only sane one. It’s why he knows what is going to happen before it does. It’s why he knows all the tropes and points everything out. It’s because this has all happened before," she threw her arms up in the air, declaring her find, "We are all-"

* * *

**September 17, 2009 10:45 am- GCC Quad- Before the timeline split.**

"-characters on a television show stuck in re-runs," Britta suddenly found the sun in her eyes and felt the wind blowing on her cheek. She looked down and saw a red scarf around her neck. Bells were ringing to commemorate the time, then some rap music played for a moment. She no longer sat in one of Jeff's living room chairs and now, instead, sat on the front steps to what she thought was the Greendale Library. "The re-runs...they looped back." Britta looked around for Abed, who was nowhere to be seen. The Dean made his speech in the background. Cards fell out of his hand, the wind blew them away, one hit Britta's foot. She ignored it and looked at her schedule.

"Spanish, I have to get to Spanish." She grabbed her notebook and shoved it into her purse, but it didn't fit. "Why the hell did I wait two years to get a friggin backpack?"

The halls looked the same, the faces a bit younger. She ran into the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror for a while, trying to figure out if this was all real. She turned the bathroom lights on and off, to see if it was a dream. She read about that in one of her psych books. After looking in the mirror again, she saw less make-up, less lines and a hairstyle that took her an hour longer in the morning. _Maybe it’s just the lighting?_ She thought.

She looked at her cellphone, which wasn't a Totorala. It was her old Samsung one, not broken from a drunken hook-up with Jeff Winger when her phone fell in a public bathroom toilet, two and a half years ago, or was it one year from now? The time read 11:15, "Shit. Spanish!" Britta ran down the halls. She turned a corner and slid from the lack of traction on the soles of her boots and opened the door to Chang's classroom. She was late. This didn't happen the first time. The full classroom of students stopped looking at Chang, who was making bird noises in the middle of the rows, and turned their attention to a late Britta Perry. A younger, more conservatively dressed Annie Edison sat in the front row and gave her a small glare for interrupting class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the changes with the entire story as a whole will be in later chapters. 
> 
> I've been trying to update this more, but I've been really busy with my job this summer. 
> 
> Also, like I said before, the ending will be different than what I had in the original on FF.net.


	4. Looking for Cracks in the Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some new stuff in here. I think I needed to explore Abed and his motivations better so I added a bit more to this chapter.

**December 11th 2012-The Prime Timeline**

**"The Tag"**

**4:00pm- The Study Room**

Pierce walked into the Study Room, only to see his friends dressed in dark clothes, "Hey dudes, whats up?"

"Pierce, stop trying to sound 'young,'" Evil Jeff said with a smile.

"Sorry," Pierce noticed that Britta dyed part of her hair blue and was tied to the chair, "Why is Brittles tied to a chair? Are you guys forcing her to dye that rebellious blue streak out of her hair?"

"She asked for it," Evil Annie commented in a sing-song voice before smiling over at Jeff.

"No, I didn't," Evil Britta replied through gritted teeth.

"Do you want us to replace you?" Evil Annie narrowed her eyes at Evil Britta, "because it would be fairly simple. I've got five more to choose from."

"Jeff, when are you gonna-" Evil Britta began to ask with her eyes narrowed at Evil Annie.

"It’s not the time!" Evil Jeff slammed his fist on the table, "How many times do I need to tell you, Britta? Are you fucking brain dead?"

Evil Annie, Evil Britta, and Evil Troy's eyes widened, while Evil Shirley woke up for a moment, then laid her head back on the table.

"Jeff, you need to control your anger," Evil Abed announced, "The Jeff in this Time-

"God Dammit! Abed, you shut up, too! Doesn't anyone here listen to me? Without me this wouldn't have been possible!" Evil Jeff snarled then pointed back and forth at Evil Annie and Evil Britta, "And I'm sick of you two fighting. Put a lid on it or I will personally take care of BOTH of you myself."

"Did your boyfriend dump you Winger?" Pierce asked,"Because if he did, we are all here to support you."

"No! Pierce!" Evil Jeff yelled back at him.

"Well excuse me," Pierce looked over at Evil Shirley, "Why is Shirley sleeping?"

"Ben was up all night with a fever," Evil Annie covered as her eyes shifted towards Evil Jeff, "She didn't get any sleep."

Evil Jeff nodded to Evil Annie in approval of her lie.

"Troy, you're being really quiet," Pierce said.

"Yeah, well he has taken a vow of silence until that show with that guy from _Castle_ -" Evil Jeff began.

"You mean _Firefly_ ," Evil Abed corrected.

"Whatever, until _Firefly_ is put either back on the air or picked up by Netflix," Evil Jeff covered.

"Oh, Okay, well good luck with that, Troy. Shall we start to study for history?" Pierce said.

"Like that's ever going to happen," Evil Britta scoffed, then turned to Jeff, "Just let him talk."

"Do you ever think positively?" Evil Annie rose her eyebrows at Evil Britta.

"I do happen to from time to time," Evil Britta smirked back at her, "...Such as, when I was banging Jeff for those nine months you were in the hospital."

Evil Annie's eyes widened in anger as she attempted to leap across the table and attack Evil Britta. Evil Jeff jumped out of his seat and used his left arm to hold Evil Annie back. Evil Troy began to cry.

"You guys, this is ridiculous!" Evil Troy yelled as he cried causing everyone to stop, "Everything was supposed to be better here! It was supposed to be better!"

Pierce crinkled his eyebrows, "What is wrong with you people? Do you even care about this test tomorrow? Poor Troy obviously has a cold. I mean, listen to him. And Brittles how were you banging Jeff if he's obviously attracted to men?" He got up and left the room.

Evil Jeff face-palmed as he watched Pierce leave the room.

"If-if he's leavin', then I'm goin' home to see my babies," Evil Shirley announced before stumbling out of her chair.

"Troy and I better drive her home," Evil Abed deadpanned, then left the Study Room.

Evil Jeff looked over at Evil Annie, who was staring at Evil Britta with narrowed eyes, then at Evil Britta who stared at the table.

"Annie, take my keys and warm up my car," Evil Jeff said while gesturing his car keys at her and looking at Evil Britta.

"What are you gonna do with her?" Evil Annie nodded towards Evil Britta in the chair.

"I'm going to untie her, then you and I will drive her to her apartment," Evil Jeff explained, "Go, warm up the car. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"But she's gonna-" Evil Annie began.

"Go!" Evil Jeff yelled, "Go, now and don't discuss this with me further."

"Fine! If she decides to betray us again, then don't come crawling to me for help!" Evil Annie yelled back, then left the room.

"Its like dealing with a child," Evil Jeff pointed towards the door, directing his comment to be about Annie. After a pause, he tilted his head at Evil Britta, "Are you ready to play nice?"

Evil Britta lowered her head and nodded back to him.

"What you did wasn't in _our_ plan," he pointed back and forth between himself and Evil Britta, "You know what needed to happen. I mean, hell, I was the one defending you to everyone and you went and did that? It almost screwed up everything..."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"Good," He slowly rose from his seat and walked behind Britta's chair. He kneeled down behind her, so he was at the same level as her. From behind the chair, he pulled back her hair away from her ear and leaned in to whisper, "You can't let her find out about everything."

Evil Britta rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Evil Jeff kissed Evil Britta's neck as he began to untie her from the chair.

Evil Britta sighed,"You gonna go and bone her now?"

"Listen, I'm not going to sleep with her tonight," he whispered into her ear with a slight laugh, "but you know we have to gain her trust somehow. She could go on a murderous rampage if she ever found out we are still technically together. Did you see her with that gun? I think she would have pulled the trigger at Abed without a second thought. Probably because she thinks she could just replace him."

"Its not funny, Jeff. We should have left her in the psychiatric facility or at least given her some anti-psychotics. There's also a gun in her apartment. So, keep her with you until we find its hiding spot and remove it from her bedroom."

"I'm not letting her take anti-psychotics, especially with her history. I'll start to search her room tomorrow. I don't trust Abed. He would probably let her keep it... It’s so exhausting parenting them."

"I for one am sick of it, but I also don't want to be 'replaced,'" Britta felt her arms free. She shook off the rope they had tied her up with and rose up from her chair. She turned to Evil Jeff and took his real hand, "Jeff, I, I don't know how to-"

"Britta," Evil Jeff interrupted with a whisper as he took her in an embrace, "Come on, I forgive you. I know you have a need to always do the right thing. I was expecting it, but you know it needed to happen. Everything is going to be better now."

She then began to bawl tears, "How could you do that to her, Jeff? If you loved her so much then how did you allow yourself to do that? To change her, so she'd be like that?"

Evil Jeff remained silent, then kissed her on the forehead, "We have to go. I have to take you to your apartment."

He then left the room.

There were three seconds of silence

Evil Britta sighed and looked directly into the camera in a close-up, closed her eyes, then sat in her seat. The camera panned out to show her alone in the study room, laying her head on the desk, looking at the camera.

**Fade to Black**

* * *

 

**September 17th, 2009 - Before the Timeline Split**

**Britta's Second "Run Through."**

**11:45 pm - Senor Chang's Spanish Class**

Britta stared at Abed, who sat in his usual seat and nodded to him.

"Why are you late?" Chang stopped thrashing about making bird sounds and gave Britta an intense stare.

"Um, I got lost?" she gave him a fake smile and shrugged.

"Well, don't do it again! Or else! I don't get paid the small amount of money that I do to get interrupted by sexy, blonde hipsters who resemble Elisabeth Shue!"

"I'm pretty sure that's sexual harass-"

"Sit down or drop the class!"

"Sorry, won't happen again, no worries," she smiled and took the seat next to Abed and gave him a panicked look with her eyes and muttered, "I am so glad his life falls apart," to Abed, who returned her comment by putting his index finger to his lips. She looked over at Jeff who sat in the next row in the seat ahead of her. He played bejeweled on his Blackberry.

After class, Britta waited for Abed, so she could speak to him in the hallway.

"Abed, what am I supposed to do?"

Abed looked up and down the hallway, "Just be yourself, we have to go through the three and a half seasons again."

"I have to wait three and a half years before we can do something?" her mouth dropped to the floor.

He nodded again, “I’m pretty sure.” 

"What am I supposed to do about Jeff and the study meeting and, and everything?"

"Don't worry, just go and be yourself. You already know all the lines. They make you say them anyway."

"I'm just going to tell everyone," she declared.

"You can't, they won't believe you. Everything is too normal right now. We have to gain their trust before we can do anything."

"So, I have to 'act,'? I can't act, Abed. Do you know how many times I've played a tree in my life?"

"Yep, thirty-one times. Soon to be thirty-two."

"Real funny, I meant the thirty two years I've been alive."

"You're twenty-eight, at least right now you are. Your birthday is next month. It wont be that hard. They make us say everything in the scripts."

"Can I change things? Like can I change this script?"

Abed tilted his head at her and studied her worried face. Britta was biting her lip.

"What would you want to change?"

"A lot of things."

"You can't."

"So I have to sleep with Jeff again at the paintball tournament and 'declare my love for him' and let him kiss Annie both times and destroy some poor soul's habitat for humanity house and almost get killed by a prospector on a field trip and embarrass myself at the winter musical?"

"Yeah, we have to do everything the same. We don't have much of a choice. They will make you if you refuse."

"Who is 'they'?"

"There’s a script. If it’s in the script we are forced to say it. We can think whatever we wan't, but our actions and our words, those are not ours. We don't have that privilege. There is a script they force us to follow."

"They?"

"The writers. If there are writer's notes or if it’s in the script, it has to happen. There's nothing you can do."

"Then how are we having this conversation now? We didn't have it last time."

"We can still have conversations in between the scenes. See once it becomes noon-time, you have to go into the cafeteria. There will be nothing you can do to stop yourself. Your legs will take you there and you won't be able to stop them. You will sit in a booth and you will see Jeff Winger come over to you and talk to you in broken Spanish. He will charm you and invite you to the study session. Britta, your path is already set. There is nothing you can do at the moment. We are doomed to repeat the same story over and over. I've tried to stray before. Once I tried to stop Jeff and Annie from kissing, just to see what would happen, but I couldn't move."

"You couldn't move?"

"Yeah, my brain wanted to move, but my legs wouldn't."

"Why would you want to stop Jeff from kissing Annie?"

"It was an experiment," Abed deadpanned, "I wanted to see if I could change one of the defining moments of our show. Obviously it did not work."

"But it was different at the end, Abed. We broke from the 'script'. Also, it seemed like Evil Annie wasn't even following a script. How else could she have made those references or comment on the music that was playing in the Dream-a-the dreama? What did you call it?

"The Dreamatorium," Abed nodded back at her

"The Dreamatorium," Britta continued, "I mean if we both figured it out, couldn't she figure it out? Has it ever happened before? Have you ever convinced any of the others?"

"One time I almost had Troy and the time before that I almost had Annie, but I ran out of time before their realizations. Its probably better Annie didn't understand. See what I have been trying to prevent is our dark counterparts driving her insane. If we stop that, then maybe we can break free. If we overcome our darkest selves then the hero's journey will be complete," he shook his head. "Hang in there."

"Okay," Britta sighed, then said, "Wait, I have to follow their script?"

"Yep, everything."

"Meaning I will have the first conversation I had with Jeff?"

"Yep. If its written, it it’s Word of God, you have no choice. See we are the figments of a man's imagination. We are just dolls, doomed to repeat the words written for us."

"What happens when the repeats end?"

"You mean when they take us off of syndication?"

She nodded back at him.

"I'm not sure. I think when it ends and there is no written fate for us...See we end on a cliffhanger. Annie is crazy. Jeff thinks he is in love with her. You are in love with him. Shirley may not have custody of her kids. And Pierce is stuck with our Dark Counterparts and contemplating moving to Hawaii. Since Pierce has a definite future, that Timeline, the Prime Timeline, may allow us an existence beyond the reruns. If we can somehow alter the script or break free from the script and take down our counterparts, then maybe we can live beyond the re-runs. See if we can't figure this out before they take us off of syndication...we will cease to exist."

"Great," she sighed and replied with sarcasm, "I guess that means I should head over to the cafeteria, so Jeff can hit on me."

"Good plan," Abed gave her the thumbs up, "And remember, you have to be cool. Season One Britta is really cool and snarky."

"Isn't Season Four Britta cool?" she asked with a meek tone.

"No," Abed deadpanned and shook his head, "Now go, you can't be late. I have a theory about this. I'll tell you about it later when we have time, but for now you have to go to the cafeteria."

"Wait, Abed. How long have we been stuck in the loop?"

"I don't think I should tell you...It may traumatize you."

"Abed, just freaking tell me now!"

"One hundred and thirty years, our time."

Britta closed eyes, so hard that crows feet began to show around them. She shook her head, eyes still closed, "Excuse me? Over one hundred years, our time? What the fuck is our time?"

"Well, we get two episodes a day, five days a week. There are fifty-two weeks a year, for us, the same four years goes by six times in a "real year" and I think we've been in re-runs for almost five years."

“So, technically, I'm over a hundred years old?"

"No, that's the thing Britta. Time for us doesn't stop after the four years. After the finale, we loop back and you're twenty-eight again. You will never age past thirty-two years old. Troy will ever age past twenty-three and Annie will never make it to twenty three. Don't you get it? We loop back. We are stuck in re-runs and there is nothing we can currently do about it."

"So, we're stuck in the same four years and there is nothing we can do about it?"

"Nope. Not now, at least."

"How long have you known?"

"The entire time. I've known we're fictional since the second it started. Britta, we know the least amount about your backstory...What do you remember before your first day here at Greendale?"

"Well, I was in the Peace Corps, I dropped out of high sch-"

"You can repeat these memories to me, but think for a moment. Can you actually remember? Can you think back and remember these things? Do you remember what you did in the Peace Corps? Where you went? What you did and who you met? Can you envision it in your mind?"

She paused and remained silent for a minute. She looked at him, studying the sincerity of his face. After taking in a deep breath and suppressing oncoming tears, she let out a faint, disappointed, "No. It’s like I'm programed to say it, but I can't envision the memories."

"Exactly."

"So, we are doomed to live the same four years over and over? That is the essence of our existence?"

"Pretty much."

"Does it get boring?"

"Of course," Abed looked at his watch, "It's almost noon. You better get going."

"Fine," she sighed.

* * *

 

**October 30, 2009- Steps of Greendale Library**

**10:30pm**

Britta has been through this before. That night, he put on her chipmunk costume and prepared herself for a night of Jeff and Annie Dancing, Shirley attempting to take a dump in Slater's desk and Pierce accidentally getting high on ecstasy.

After she witnessed Jeff dancing with Annie, she realized something that she didn't care to admit to herself.

After Abed leapt in as Batman and saved Pierce in an epic rescue, Annie's party that nobody really wanted to go to ended. Britta allowed herself a cigarette as she waited on the steps to the Greendale library. She heard someone standing behind her, and turned her head to see Abed, "Hey, Abed"

"I thought you quit smoking?"

"Well, I thought, to hell with it," Britta put on a fake smile, "If we keep repeating the same four years over and over the probability of me getting cancer or heart disease is zero to none."

Abed snatched the cigarette from her hands and threw it on the ground, stepping on it, "You can't smoke Britta."

"What the hell?" She said with an angry look, "Why did you do that?"

"Because we have to stay in continuity. We have to keep this Timeline from becoming dark."

"I thought we could say and do whatever we wanted when the scenes weren't playing."

"You can't smoke, Britta," Abed shook his head, "Not unless you are drunk."

"This seriously sucks. Have you become good enough friends with Troy to start convincing him? I mean Shirley and I had a moment tonight, but I still don’t think it’s a good enough connection for me to try to convince her."

Abed nodded, "Yeah, I'm working on ways to convince Troy."

"You know," Britta began with a slight, condescending laugh, "I never noticed until today how fucking fake everything is. I mean, watching Shirley destroy Slater's office for the second time made me realize how fake everything is...Do you know that our walls are made out of this shitty sheet rock?"

"Yeah," Abed deadpanned, "I've been observing our universe for over a hundred years. Eventually you get used to it."

* * *

**April 19th, 2012- The Dreamatorium**

**2:00pm**

Abed stood in the Dreamatorium. Annie smiled at him. She stood in front of him wearing the Golden Geneva dress; a favorite of his after her paintball costume. The scripted scene ended as they shot at the fake blorgons. He decided to try. Maybe it would stop this way. Maybe he just needed to tell Annie earlier; to convince her earlier. However, he didn’t know if it would be possible to convince someone in the middle of the series instead of in the last five minutes of the series finale, but he decided to try. 

“Annie?” he asked. 

The Dreamatorium faded back to the green tiles. 

“Yeah?” she asked, confused, as she looked around at the green and yellow walls. “Just to be clear, did you stop it? Are we no longer in the time booth?” 

He nodded. 

She looked at her watch and tilted her head at him, “We still have an hour and a half.” Her lips curled into a sweet smile, “Inspector! Hurry, we-” 

He walked up to her and put his index finger to her lips. Her forehead crinkled as she looked down at his skinny finger. 

“Abed,” she mumbled while he kept his index finger in place on her lips, “what are you-” 

“Shhhh,” he said, “Close your eyes.” 

“What?” she mumbled. 

“Just, please trust me and close your eyes.” 

Annie nodded and closed her eyes.  

“Listen,” he whispered. “Can you hear it?” 

“Hear what?” she asked. 

“Just clear your mind and listen for it.” 

“It?” 

“The music. The background music.” 

“I don’t hear anything. Am I supposed to hear anything?” 

“Yeah. Just quiet for a minute and listen for it.” 

She paused and then said, “I hear it!” 

“You do?” his eyes widened. 

“You’re asking me to pretend-I mean, render an imaginative-” 

“So you really don’t hear anything? You’re just pretending?” he asked her seriously. 

“Um. Um.” Annie stammered nervously. After the progress she just made with Abed today, she didn’t want to retract anything.  “Ye-ah,” she whimpered, “I’m sorry. I can’t do what you’re asking from me. My imagination isn’t as, um, vivid? Yeah, vivid as yours. I can’t just imagine background music for our recreation of _Inspector Spacetime_.” 

Abed knew this wasn’t going to work. She needed more time for him to be able to convince her. Annie wouldn’t be able to realize the true nature of their existence until the last five minutes of the series, but then it would be too late. She would be too far gone and Abed wouldn’t be able to reverse it.  

“It’s fine,” Abed replied. “I know you don’t hear really hear anything. I know you’re just humoring me. It’s fine. Let’s just go back doing _Inspector Spacetime_.” 

* * *

**December 10th 2012- Jeff Winger's Bedroom**

**2:30am**

Britta had lived through the series twice now, this was the last night before they got sent back. She always had to spend it at Jeff's, as it dictated in the script how they spent the night before together. She knew what was going to happen tomorrow and she knew she had to convince Jeff, although a part of her did not want to. If Jeff became aware of what was going on, he wouldn't 'reset,' when they got sent back to the first episode. If he became aware of the medium and then realized he loved Annie tomorrow, then Britta would lose him forever. His mind would not be erased. He always realized it when Annie leaves to get pizza in the cafeteria. Abed even says, "here comes the realization."

Britta did not want this to happen. She lay down next to him in his bed, quiet.

"Why are you always so sad when we're alone?" Jeff asked her.

"Because its the only time I can express my true feelings. Besides," she replied with a vacant whisper while staring at the ceiling, "I already know whats going to happen."

"Britta, no one knows what is going to happen."

"Abed does."

"That's because he is a freak of nature."

"Nature is gone, for now at least." Britta responded, "Jeff?"

"Yeah?"

"Why-why can't you still accept the way you feel?"

"What do you mean? Britta, this time is completely different from two years ago. I mean, when I saw you with Troy, I knew what I was missing. I knew I wanted to be like that with you and I regretted not doing it the first time."

"You weren't missing anything, Jeff. I don't get what is wrong with you. How can you not see what is right smack dab in front of your fucking face!"

"I don't get it."

"This is a lost cause...You'll figure it out tomorrow anyway, even though it will be too late."

"Too late for what?"

"Never mind... Jeff?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you hear the music?"

"What music?" he tilted his head at her.

"Forget it, I'm going to go to sleep."

* * *

 

  **April 12, 2012- Trobedannie's Living Room**

**Britta's Third "Run Through."**

**3:00 am**

This was the third time Britta was reliving the series. In this episode she was spending the night at Apartment 303, so Annie could prevent her from calling Blade. After everyone went to sleep, Britta laid on the couch, but couldn't sleep. Abed emerged from his blanket for and sat down in his recliner.

"Abed?" Britta whispered to him.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what Evil Jeff does to Annie?"

He gave her a slow nod. "It took you three 'run throughs' to ask that question?

"I've been too afraid to ask," she paused then ask with a shaky tone, "What is it?"

"He sleeps with her, then convinces her that he and everyone else is a robot."

Britta smirked a little, "Really? That's what drives her over the edge?"

"Yeah, Annie is afraid of robots. Its what she hallucinated when she was high on Adderall. We have a strict no robot movie policy in the apartment for that very reason. Why do you think we never watch _Kickpuncher_ after the second season and had to take our poster down?"

"So her fear is like for reals. Like she could be driven mad by it?"

"She is afraid of robots more than I am of _Cougar Town's_ cancellation...It was miracle TBS picked them up. However, almost any show with a former Friend can survive, except _The Comeback_. That show was brilliant, one of the only mockumentaries to actually address the-"

"How do we stop them?" Britta interrupted Abed's rant.

"We have to break away from the script somehow. I'm still trying to figure it out."

* * *

 

**September 17, 2009- GCC Quad/Steps of Library**

**10:50am**

**Britta's fourth run through**

Once again, for the third time, they had no success in convincing anyone. Abed and Britta were, once again, the only two sent back aware of their medium.

Britta, instead of sitting up on the steps, was laying down, staring up at the sky.

"It never rains," she said, reaching out and grasping the air, "I think it rained once, but I wasn't in that scene."

"It did rain once. Jeff got to run through it," Abed nodded.

"I quit," she announced.

"You can't."

"But I do. I'm going to sit here and sing the theme song and hope to fucking God that I don't have to leave this spot for three and a half years," Britta said, laughing maniacally.

"You have to go, Britta. I just talked to Jeff. Now we have to go to Spanish class. Singing the theme isn't going to help. I've tried it."

"Abed, I just killed myself in the last run 'through' and the cycle still repeated. I'm stilllll alive," Britta said while shaking with wide eyes, "I can speak perfect fucking Spanish, yet I still get the same grades. I am staying here. Fuck Spanish. I already know what happens. I already know everything that happens. So what's the point? What is the fucking point anymore?"

* * *

 

**November 18, 2010- The Study Room/Collapsed Blanket Fort**

**11:19pm**

After the pillow fort incident, where Britta thankfully 'laid low,' that episode, she sat next to Abed on a pile of pillows.

"Abed, how do you deal with this? The repeating, I mean," Britta began, "I can't stand reliving the same moments of my life over and over. It’s like that Bill Murray mov-"

"You mean _Groundhog Day_?"

She nodded back at him.

"Not really. Its more like Kurt Vonneguet's _Timequake_ , although worse. They only had to repeat once."

"I can't deal with this. Everything is fake. I'm fake."

"Britta, sometimes you have to look at the beauty of ugly, fake things, such as our predicament. So, yeah, we may be fictional characters, but the beautiful thing about it, is that we will never age, we will never grow up. We're going to live forever."

"There comes a point when everyone has to grow up," Britta replied with a frown, then turned her head towards Abed, "Is this why you act the way you do?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean the blanket forts-"

"Blanket forts are awesome." Abed affirmed.

"Yeah, I know, but listen for a sec. There's not just the blanket forts, it’s everything. It’s the 'pretend games,' it’s the 'characters,' it’s how you eat cereal with a plastic bowl and spoon."

"You know I have no control over those things if it’s in the script or if it’s the props they gave me to use."

"I get that and all, but, like, really," Britta looked at him with vulnerable eyes, "do you ever want to, like, just grow up and be a normal...umm...ad-ult."

"You don't know how old I am, do you?"

Britta laughed and shook her head, "None of us do. Not even Troy."

"Good, I like to retain a sense of mystery," Abed wiggled his eyebrows at her, but then put on a serious demeanor to say, "You don't wan't to grow up either, Britta."

"Of course I do," she narrowed her eyes at him

"It’s not your fault. They gave you these character traits. It’s why you've put off getting a real job. It’s why you dropped out of high school. It’s why you date men who have no potential for a long relationship or future. You're scared."

"I was scared. Now, more than ever, I just want this to end."

"I do too. I want to experience something unpredictable."

She smiled back at him, "We're gonna be okay, Abed. We're gonna get through this. We're gonna save Annie."

"I hope so. Time may be running out. Who knows when they may take us off syndication? I don't want to leave her like that...I don't want to leave her corrupted."

* * *

 

**May 20th 2010- A Hallway in Greendale**

**Britta's fifth Run through**

**3:00pm**

"Abed, I can't do this again. I cant relive this again."

"But you already have...thirty-five other times. Go and do it Britta."

"But then I'll lose him. Then he will go and kiss Annie."

"This is out of character for you..." Abed stated.

"Now I know. Abed, you didn't talk to him on thanksgiving three years from now. He's not just some narcissistic asshole. He is so much more than that. I was stupid to assume otherwise.

"Britta, what are you planning to do?"

"Nothing, I-I just I can't do it. You don't understand. You have to..."

"You actually love him now, don't you? That's why you don't want to say it to win a competition?"

She didn't say a word and just stared at him, before turning around and speed walking down the hallway.

"Britta, you can't change anything. They will make you do it! Its in the script!" He yelled down the hallway.

"Annie," Britta tracked her down in the hallway between their written scenes and said, out of breathe, "You can't leave with Vaughn."

"Its only for the summer, Britta," Annie put on a fake smile, Britta knew that smile. She would have fell for it if she didn't know better. Before she didn't, now she did.

"No, it’s not. I think I know that and I think you know that."

Annie's eyes widened. She grabbed Britta by the jacket, leaned in and whispered into her ear, "How do you know?"

"It doesn't matter, just don't do it. We need you Annie. You are like the moral compass or the heart or something important of the group."

"I'm touched, I didn't think we were that great of friends Britta."

"Well, we are," Britta shrugged, " Like, don't even bother going to the car with him. Stay at the dance with us. Now please, just take what I said into like serious consideration, okay?"

"I will take it into consideration," Annie nodded.

Eight hours later, Annie hugged everyone goodbye and Britta found herself in the center of the Cafeteria declaring her love for Jeff Winger in front of the entire school. Abed was right. She couldn't control anything. A week later she received a text from Abed.

**Leonard has confirmed that the Jeff/Annie kiss still happened. We are not in control.**

* * *

 

**May 5th, 2011- A Greendale Hallway**

**7:00pm**

Covered in orange paint, Abed walked down the hallways of Greendale to see the damage. His father always picked him up at the last possible moment to bring him back home from the summer. Abed usually wandered around the hallways and talked to Reggie the janitor. 

“Abed?” he heard a voice from behind him. He turned around and saw Britta giving him a sympathetic smile. 

“What are you doing here? You should be at Denny’s.” 

“I’m still gonna go,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I have a choice. Am I right?” she smirked and walked closer to him.  “Why don’t you ever go?” 

Abed shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m in the tag. I guess that’s why.” 

“You always look so sad after today,” Britta began to suck on her bottom lip.

“I do?” he asked. “How can you tell when I’m sad? I don’t usually express-” 

“Abed,” she interrupted and tilted her head, “I’ve relived the same four years of my life more times than I can count. I think I know you pretty damn well by now.” She nodded with a smirk, “Can I ask why?” 

“Why do you think?” Abed asked. He rose his eyebrows at her. 

“Why don’t you ever say anything to her?” 

“It’s buried so far beneath the subtext that it will never and can never materialize fully.” He paused. “I don’t think I can or ever will be able to express it like people are supposed to.” 

“We’re not people, Abed,” Britta’s eyes began to fill with tears. She gulped, “We’re characters.” 

“It’s not in the script,” he tilted his head at her and allowed his lips to curl into a small, almost smile, “but there are always other timelines.” He walked away, leaving Britta standing alone against a paint splattered wall. 

* * *

**May 17th 2012- The Study Room**

**9:30am**

Britta sat, alone, in her seat at the study room table with a vacant stare. Abed came and sat down next to her.

"I-I can't take this anymore, Abed,"Britta began to emit tears from her eyes, "I miss the wind. The freaking wind. I miss feeling it on my face. It feels like I haven't truly been outside in a year. Where did the wind go, Abed? Where the hell is the wind? I never noticed it before, but there is no wind and no real sunlight."

"They probably cut our budget," Abed replied.

Britta uttered, "I've lost track of time. How many times have I done this-since I've realized?"

"This is the fifth time."

"The fifth time?" Britta's eyes widened, "How the hell can you not convince Troy? He is a man-child for God's sake. I'm pretty sure you could convince him that Santa is real."

"Britta, don't get snappy, besides, Troy doesn't celebrate Christmas. This is a lot more difficult that it looks. Just because Troy and I know how to use the Dreamatorium, doesn't make him easier to convince."

"Well, what about Annie? How has that been going?"

"Not well. She's also been a lot harder to convince than I thought. How is convincing Jeff going?"

"I don't know. He, like, never listens to me."

"Keep working at it. It’s the only way to save Annie."

"All I can say though is, thank God, that we don't have a laugh track. I don't think I could deal with the sound of canned laughter haunting me."

* * *

 

**December 11, 2012- The Dark Timeline- Jeff Winger's Living Room**

**2:55pm**

They made it to the finale again and were sent to the Dark Timeline, but Abed and Britta were set on convincing Troy and maybe Shirley. Britta had been trying to drop hints for weeks to Shirley.

"This isn't going to stop us," Jeff declared, pointing down at the ground in determination, "WE are too good for this. WE are not letting getting sent to the dark timeline drive us to what happened to them. WE are too good for that, for this. WE are going to make our lives better, because WE aren't them."

Annie and Abed turned around as Troy opened his eyes as he laid on the couch. Shirley loosened her grip on her purse, lowering it to the ground.

Jeff walked into the middle of his living room area, while Britta followed, clutching the bottle of scotch by its neck.

"Shirley, you are not a drunk," Jeff pointed at her with clenched teeth.

"No, I am not," she nodded, her voice confident and her eyes determined.

"And you ARE getting your kids back in this timeline! Just because the other Shirley lost them doesn't mean you can't get them back! Got it?"

Shirley nodded back to him, "I will get them back because I am not a worthless drunk."

Jeff pivoted around and faced Britta. He placed both hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. "You are awesome, got that?"

Britta's eyes widened as she allowed herself a smile.

"You are not-"

"Dying my hair blue, I know," she rolled her eyes, "Jeff, you have made this speech before, don't you remember?"

"No?"

"Ask Abed,"

Jeff turned to Abed, who nodded, "When?"

"Like thirty-something other times," Britta replied.

"Good show," Abed said, "a perfect depiction of second wave feminism."

Britta turned her head to Abed, "We've been hanging out way too much."

Abed nodded back, "Yes, we have."

"Remember those psych tests we took and only two of them were sane?" Britta turned back to Jeff, cupping her hands on his shoulders.

"Yeah? So?"

"Guess who the sane ones are," Britta pointed back and forth from her to Abed.

Annie raised her eyebrows at the claim and sat down in deep thought. She did not say a word.

Troy got of the couch and tilted his head at Abed, at first confused, but then his eyes widened. He looked over at Abed, who nodded.

"Is she hinting at what I think she is hinting at?" Troy asked.

Abed nodded.

"Oh my God!" Troy exclaimed, then sat down.

"I don't get it..." Shirley announced sweetly.

Britta walked over to Shirley and whispered, "We're characters, Shirley. None of this is real...Hell, we're not even real."

"Bu-but, what about my kids?"

Britta looked down at the ground and shook her head, while whispering, "I'm sorry. They're not real too."

"So-so...what does this mean?"

"You'll see in a couple of seconds," Britta replied.

* * *

 

**September 17th 2009- GCC Quad/A Hallway**

**10:45am**

**Britta's Sixth Run Through**

Troy met Britta in the middle of the quad and they walked to Spanish. After Spanish they met Shirley and Abed in the hallway.

"Three and a half more years?" Britta demanded, "I have to do this for another three and a half years?"

"Yeah," Abed relied

"I get it," Troy nodded, "We just have to do through this, until, like, we can convince Jeff and Annie. Once we do, we can all take down our Dark counterparts."

"Exactly," Abed nodded, "Except about Annie..."

"What about Annie?" Troy asked.

"We can't convince her, then she will be crazy forever," Britta interjected.

"Why?" Shirley asked.

"Because once you become aware-" Abed began.

"You stay like you were at the end of the finale. Your memory of the series doesn't get wiped!" Britta continued.

"So, that leaves, Jeff?" Shirley looked over at Britta.

Then Abed tilted his head at Britta.

Troy looked over at Britta also, then asked, "Why are we looking at Britta."

"She's the one who will have the most success convincing Jeff. I'll work on Annie." Abed nodded.

"Abed, did I ever tell you how much I hate _Groundhog Day_? Britta asked.

" _Timequake_ , Britta. It’s more like _Timequake._ I told you that like five run throughs ago."

"I've lost track of how many times we've done this," Britta replied, then walked away.

* * *

 

**November 7, 2012- The Study Room**

**3:45pm**

“Abed, have you figured it out? Do you know how to break from the script?"Britta asked.

"I'm not sure. For some reason there's a loophole in the last episode, during the last couple minutes. Our goal needs to be to figure out how to tap into that loophole, so we can change the last episode, so Annie doesn't go crazy."

"Well, we've convinced Troy and Shirley. I think I can get to Jeff tonight. Have you tried to convince Annie, at all?"

"Yeah, she's too reasonable. Something outrageously unbelievable needs to happen for her to understand. She still can't hear the background music, she hasn't commented on the fake foliage in the courtyard, or how a monkey can be sustained in the air vents. She's insisted that she has most certainly seen _Charlie St. Cloud_ , even though she never has mentioned it in the show. I asked her to try to see if she can remember anything before Greendale or who her parents even are, but she realizes nothing."

"This is a fucking nightmare," Britta sighed, "I just want this to end. I mean we can't even listen to real music. We only can listen to what's been featured on the show. Music is supposed to be huge part of my life and I don't even know what Thom Yorke's voice sounds like."

Abed turned to her, with a serious expression, "You need to convince Jeff. I think, if we all become self aware, we can try to break away from it together. Also, I've been worrying that this may be one of our last chances."

"What do you mean?"

"We can only stay in syndication for so long, Britta. I'm afraid for what may happen if they take us off."

"What will happen?"

"I don't know."

Britta knew what she had to do. Now that her and Troy were no longer scripted as a couple, she would soon begin seeing Jeff again. She would just have to convince him the first night, she knew she could. She just didn't think she wanted to, but time was running out and Annie's sanity and future was at stake.

* * *

 

**November 25, 2012- Jeff Winger's Living Room**

**7:13pm**

Tonight was the night, Britta thought as she stood in Jeff's living room. They weren't in a scripted scene, so she could say whatever she wanted. He was talking about something ridiculous, but Britta wasn't listening because she had heard this before.

"Shh," Britta put her index finger to Jeff's lips and whispered, "Close your eyes and listen carefully."

He tilted his head at her, but then nodded, closing his eyes. Jeff suddenly began to hear the plucking of electric guitar strings, "...What is that?"

"The background music," Britta replied, "I know the words by heart."

"Of what?"

"The show."

"What show?"

"The show we are on," Britta responded.

"Haha," Jeff flashed her a smile, "Nice joke Britta."

"I'm serious," she nodded back at him.

"Is this some game you want to play?" he tilted his head back at her.

"It’s real," she nodded back at him, "Look down and you will see the credits rolling."

He looked down and his eyes widened, "You have to be fucking kidding me?"

"No, I'm not."


	5. Completely Off-Book

**December 10, 2012- The Prime Timeline**

**Apartment 303- 10:00pm**

Abed and Annie sat in front of the television. Annie occupied Troy's recliner because he was out on a date. Abed stopped looking at the television and looked over at Annie.

"Annie?" he asked her.

"Yeah, Abed?" she removed her gaze from the television.

"Can I ask you something?" he tilted his head at her.

"Of course you can," she replied looking back at him with a smile.

"What if we were fictional characters?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Annie waved her hand at him out of carelessness, but then stared at him with wide eyes.

"I'm not."

"Ab-ed?" she said with slow apprehension, then walked over to his recliner. She sat on the arm of the chair and asked, "You know this is real life... right?" as she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Of course I do. I can tell the difference between TV and real life. I was just riffing," Abed gave her a small smile and lied.

She smiled back at him, squeezing his hand, "Good to hear. You worry me sometimes."

"I know," he nodded back, "Promise me something?"

"Mmhmm?"

"To listen very carefully before you go to sleep tonight?"

"I don't know what that means, but I guess I will," she replied as her forehead crinkled at him.

* * *

 

**December 10, 2012-The Prime Timeline**

**Jeff Winger's Apartment-10:00pm**

Jeff slouched over while he sat on his couch. He knew what was about to happen because apparently it happened every time, according to Britta. Someone began to knock on the door. Jeff rose from the couch with reluctance and walked to his front door. He stood rigid at the door, taking in a deep breath. The person at the door knocked again; the knock was slow, pounding and hesitant. His hand shook as he reached for the doorknob. 

"Jeff, open the freaking door! Your perve of a neighbor, Mr.-I-can't-remember-his-name, is looking at me weird out his cat door!" he heard Britta yell through the door.

He laughed for a second to calm his nerves and then opened the door. Britta stood before him. Her eyes were closed. She opened them and ran into his arms; embracing him tighter than she ever had before. She rose on her toes, to whisper up into his ear, but she couldn't utter any words. Then after a gasp for air from restraining her tears, she said, "This is it, Jeff," she declared with a breathy, cracked whisper.

"I doesn't have to be," he replied as he embraced her; burying his face into her hair and breathed in.

Tears filled her eyes, "Tomorrow, we will stop because you love her, Jeff."

"But I don't," he tangled his hand in her hair to feel the silky strands of her curls.

"It’s in the script. Tomorrow you will realize it. It happens every time. Every single time, not matter what I say to you," she sniffed her nose and buried her face in his shirt, "Can we make it nice this time? Because this time we know. We know that after this it will never be the same. You won't reset if we have to repeat the series again."

He nodded before he gasped, "Britta, I don't want to end this."

"You will tomorrow," her bleak tone indicated her discontent, "It’s fine, Jeff."

Jeff kissed her on the forehead. Then he guided his hand up her side, to her her neck and under her chin. He pulled her chin up, so her face was toward his and kissed her softly.

"Over twenty years, Jeff. I've spent over twenty years with you, but to you it’s only been four," she began to cry, "And. And then tomorrow I'm going to have to give you up forever."

"Do you hear the music?" He asked.

"Yeah. It’s really sad. Do you?"

"Yeah. And. And I wish it wasn't so sad because then I would know there was some hope for us... I have something that I want to show you." He released her from the embrace and went down the hall into his room and came back with a guitar. "It had come to my attention that Radiohead is supposedly your favorite band of all time, but you've never heard a song because they don't technically exist in our universe. Well, they exist, but we can't listen to them because they were never bought or featured in the scripted scenes. Therefore, I have taken my remedial guitar knowledge and learned how to play one of their songs. I may not be Thom Yorke, but this is the best I can do... I picked this song because even though you may be fictional, you feel real to me and I wouldn't be the person, I mean-character, I am today without you."

Jeff badly played 'Fake Plastic Trees,' on his guitar while singing slightly out of tune.

Britta began to cry but managed a laugh between her tears, "That was, like, _so_ horrible and beautiful at the same time."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

When the song ended, Jeff put his guitar down and collapsed on the couch. Britta joined him and laid her head on his shoulder. "I wish I could play a Weezer song for you."

"Don't worry about it," he assured her, "I just know how important music was to you before you knew about us being characters and not real and all. I thought it would be a shame for you to never hear a song. You're so depressed when we're not reciting the written lines."

"Thanks, Jeff," she replied and kissed him.

He pulled away from her, "I'm sorry about what is going to happen."

She leaned her head back on his shoulder, "Let's just say that we drive away right now and we don't have to go through with tomorrow. What would happen to us?"

"Where do we drive to?"

"I don't know...Away from here. Far away."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Let's go to, like, a cabin in Maine, or Oregon, or Michigan or something. Like far away from here. Really far away. Where we can feel the wind on our skin and the sun in our eyes. Also, real dirt. I want to walk barefoot on real dirt."

"Where the flowers are real and we can smell them."

"Exactly," Britta smiled back at him, "And there is the sound of birds chirping in the background. I miss the chirping."

"Rain," Jeff replied, "I want to feel the rain again."

"I've never felt the rain," Britta replied sadly.

"Want me to spit on your face?" Jeff joked.

"No, it’s fine," Britta laughed back at him.

"We'll go there and it will rain," Jeff began again, "and we'll have two really pale, pointy-faced kids."

"And despite the angularities of their faces, they will still be incredibly good-looking, much like ourselves," Britta laughed again, but then announced with a serious tone, "And we will not be married."

"Of course not," Jeff assured her, "We don't need a piece of paper to tell us what to do."

"I wish I could say that weren't true," Britta laughed again, but then took on a dole tone to say, "Good luck, Jeff."

Jeff took her in his arms. Holding her tighter, he said,"I don't want to lose you."

"You won't be losing me," she said with a vacant stare, "and I won't be losing you because I never really did have you in the first place. Once you really look into your heart, Jeff, and accept it, I won't be there. I never was there."

"Britta, don't s-"

"Shh," she put her index finger to his lips, "like I said before, let's just make it nice this last time."

Britta got up off the couch and took Jeff's hand. She led him down the hallway and into his bedroom. At the door, she stood up on her tip-toes and gave him a slow, passionate kiss. He looked down at her with a loss of words and she stared up at him with tears in her eyes. Jeff felt her take his hand again to lead him into the bedroom. 

* * *

 

**December 11, 2012- The Prime Timeline**

**GCC Library Hallway - 11:20 am**

Britta and Abed walked behind Pierce and Shirley, who had a scripted scene together. Abed and Britta were in the background. Their conversation was not audible for the audience to hear.

"I hate today!" Britta yelled as her and Abed walked to the study room. She put on a mocking voice to explain in further detail, "'Oh I'm Jeff and Annie isn't here to help me! I'm in love with her and pretend I need her to do my homework for me, so I don't look like a pussy! Or Pierce, 'I can't use my fucking four hundred dollar cell phone,' And the Dean, 'I wan't to fuck Jeff, but that won't happen if he graduates early and becomes a lawyer in the 'real world,' again! I'm gonna set shit on fire to stop him!' And Annie! 'My parents fucked me up so much, but I'm starting to think that there's more to life than getting A's! Too bad I've realized this with one semester left!'"

Abed turned to her with a stoic expression, "You just spoiled the entire study session."

"Abed, I have lived this day five fucking times already! And you have lived it over thirty-five times! There is nothing to spoil!"

"I like to pretend that I don’t-"

"And this!" Britta looked down at the opening credits which began to roll, "These are the people who have fucked us over!" she began to laugh with a forced smile. “Would you like to know what I think of them, Abed?

"Sure," Abed replied.

Britta stomped her boot on the name in the credits appearing in front of her; successfully crushing it. She turned to Abed with a smile, "That is what I think of them for trapping me in this prison of repetition. They can suck a long and hard one! Booyah!" She rose both fists in the air to celebrate her victory over doing something she believed to be insignificant, yet made her feel powerful. She did not realize what repercussions it would bring for the remainder of the 'episode.'

They arrived in the study room and sat down; readying themselves for the scripted scene the Writer forced them to recite.

* * *

 

**The Study Room- The Prime Timeline**

**11:50am**

The Dean just left out on his train float pulled by Garrett. Abed gave Jeff his history textbook. Jeff nodded and sat down in his seat. Britta gave him a dole smile and grabbed his hand from under the table for a brief moment and nodded. Then, Annie, wearing pants, walked with a casual, slow pace into the study room.

Annie's eyebrows rose as she looked at the pile of ashes in the middle of the table, "Oh my God! What happened?"

"The Dean tried to set Jeff's book on fire," Abed deadpanned.

"It was pretty intense," Troy nodded.

"When did we set something on fire? Did you guys do it yesterday without me?" Pierce asked.

Shirley shook her head, "It happened only a minute ago! Pierce are you alright?"

"Never better, Delores Etter," Pierce replied.

"Pierce," Annie tilted her head and bit her lip, "You remember who the Deputy under the Secretary of Defense for Science and Technology was when Bill Clinton was President, but you don't remember what happened five minutes ago?"

"No, I do. Did I say I didn't?" Pierce defended himself.

"How the hell does she know that?" Jeff murmured to himself.

"It’s in my History notes, Jeff." Annie responded to his murmur, then said with a patronizing tone, "It should be in yours too. Wait a minute, you didn't take any, did you?"

"No, but thanks for answering my twenty text messages. I can tell this study meeting means a lot to you," Jeff said sarcastically, then asked with a serious tone, "Seriously though, where the hell were you?"

"Something came up," she replied with a dignified tone, "Something personal that has nothing to do with anyone else here, okay?"

"Annie, are you wearing pants?" Britta asked, "I didn't think you owned a pair of jeans."

Annie leaned back in her chair and rested her ballet flats on the table, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am wearing jeans," she gave them an incredulous smile and replied with giddy excitement, "And guess what else?"

"What?" Troy replied with a dull voice. His boredom was obvious to the group as he rested his chin on his arm. Abed tilted his head at him. Troy wasn't supposed to be bored today. In the thirty-six times they had repeated this episode, Troy never responded like that.

Annie raised her eyebrows and let out a low whisper, "I didn't shave my legs today," trying to suppress her smile.

Pierce's eyes widened. He turned to Britta in a fiery rage, "You turned her? Didn't you? You tainted my little princess!"

"Pierce," Britta replied with a gentle smile, then snapped, "I am not a lesbian. In fact, your little princess is probably more of a lesbian than I am. She did try to kiss me once, after all!" Britta's eyes bugged out of her head as she covered her mouth with two hands.

Abed widened his eyes at Britta.

"Pierce," Annie pursed her lips at Britta and turned to Pierce, "I am not gay. I was just trying to establish the fact that I am being carefree for once."

"Oh, okay, but I don't see how not shaving your legs helps..." Pierce crinkled his forehead.

"Let's stop this nonsense that everyone here insists on calling 'conversation,' and start to study for this History final. If I don't get this History credit, then I have to stay here for another semester and I think we all know how the Dean has been gunning for me to slip up all semester." Jeff opened his book.

"Is 'slip up' gay code for something?" Pierce asked.

"Or," Annie began and shrugged, "We could just continue talking?"

Everyone began to murmur, "Yeah, we could."

Shirley cleared her throat as she tried to prep for her muppet voice, but failed "Does anyone want to-to see Ben's first ball throw?"

"I would love to!" Annie squealed, while everyone else replied with bored responses.

"Here they are, An-nie," Shirley let out a flat reply.

Annie's phone vibrated on the table. She read the text and announced, "There is pizza in the cafeteria! I have to go like now."

She started to pack up all her stuff.

“Wait," Jeff said with frustration, "We need to study for history!"

"But there is Pizza, Jeff," Annie shrugged before leaving the room.

"Um, what are we going to do now?" Troy asked, "None of us know how to study! She has all our notes! I don't take notes! I carry around a pillow and let Annie take them for us!"

"Don't worry, she's done this before. Remember when she got Senor Chang fired? This is her selfish, manipulative attempt to keep the group together for another semester because she doesn't want me to graduate."

"Typical," Britta scoffed.

"What? I am right," Jeff shrugged, "We can study without her. Who took notes this semester?"

Everyone remained silent.

"Awesome, nobody took notes this semester." Jeff sarcastically declared.

Britta shook her head, "Jeff, have you thought for one minute that maybe Annie is going through some personal issues of her own that don't have anything to do with your narcissistic assumptions of her acting like this because you are graduating early?" she asked.

Jeff closed his eyes and made fists with both his hands. He let out a long sigh and snapped back at her "Yes, I have thought that, Britta!"

Shirley let out a gasp. Troy and Abed looked at each other and smiled. Britta closed her eyes and winced because she knew what needed to happen next.

"What is gaytard talking about?" Pierce asked.

"In fact," Jeff began. "Screw History! Screw it to all hell! I am going to the Costume Closet and getting Annie out of here before all hell breaks loose and our lives get ruined. I insist you all do the same."

They all made eye contact with one another with terrified looks. They all began to get up from the table and gather their stuff.

"Where is everyone going?" Pierce asked, "We need to study. We are a group, guys."

Troy and Abed looked at each other.

"We need to destroy the Dreamatorium, don't we?" Troy asked.

"Not not until we catch our counterparts!," Abed put on his British accent and nodded back, "Quick, Reggie. We must find these filthy vagrants and dispose of them to their true time."

"Inspector, don't you mean...space?" Troy tilted his head at Abed.

Abed enacted a slight smile and ran out of the room followed by Troy.

Britta ran after Jeff down the hallway, "Jeff! Wait a minute!"

He turned around and asked, "What?"

She grabbed his shirt to pull his head down towards hers and gave him a passionate kiss. She whispered in his ear with a sad tone, "Now we will _always_ be even."

He smiled back at her and replied, "We always were even."

She constrained her tears and shooed him with her hand, "Go get her, Jeff!"

Jeff nodded back to Britta, then began to run down the hallway. Britta's eyes widened, then she yelled, "Wait!"

He stopped and turned around, "What, Britta? Annie is in trouble!"

"You don't have a cell phone! What if you need help or something?"

Britta spied Pierce leaving the study room, muttering to himself. She yelled back to Jeff, "Jeff, hold on a sec!"

She ran over to Pierce and said, "Pierce, let me see your phone."

"Why?" Pierce crinkled his forehead at her.

"I can show you how to get e-mail on it," Britta held her palm out.

Pierce handed her the phone "Okay, how unusually kind of you, Bri-"

Once the phone was in her hand, Britta took off and ran down the hallway.

"Hey!" Pierce yelled, "Where are you going and how did you know that I did not know how to access my e-mail!"

Britta ran up to Jeff and gave him the phone, while yelling, "Run!"

* * *

 

**GCC Costume Closet- 12:10pm**

Evil Jeff led Annie into the costume closet by his left hand. He closed the door and kept the lights off. He walked closer to her and took her in an embrace.

"J-eff?" Annie replied with apprehension, "What are you doing?"

"I can't even begin to describe how it makes me feel to see the light in your eyes again. So happy, so pure," he whispered into her ear, "It’s just going to make this that more difficult."

"'Again?' What do you mean by 'again,' and why are you hugging me like this?" she asked, "Does this have to do with you graduating early?"

"Never mind" he whispered back into her ear again. He cusped the left side of her cheek with his hand to say, "I don't know why I was so afraid to do this before," and leaned down to kiss her.

She pulled away and said, "What are you doing?"

"Isn't this what you've been waiting for, Annie?" Evil Jeff asked her, "Because I know that I've been waiting to do this for a long, long time."

"You want to do this now?" she gave him a half-laugh of disbelief, "Three years, Jeff Winger. It’s been three years and now, when everything is about to come to an end, you want me? Now? And after how you treated me in the study room less than an hour ago?"

"Annie, I did that because I was scared. I was scared because I didn't wan't to have what would have been our last study meeting without you. You mean so much to me and despite me saying that I can't wait to graduate, I don't want to lose you."

Annie bit her lip, then closer her eyes, raising her head upwards to kiss him. Evil Jeff's hands began to unbutton her purple cardigan sweater. His left hand grasped the purple argyle and pulled it off her shoulder and down to the floor.

"Jeff," she moaned into his mouth as she began to unbutton his shirt, "Why now?"

"The stakes have never been higher, that's why," he replied, "Who knows what will happen when I graduate."

"Please," she closed her eyes, "don't talk about that. I'm going to miss you too much. It’s not Greendale without you, Jeff."

"I've missed the real you, Annie," he mumbled into her neck.

"The what?" she asked.

"Never mind," he smirked then picked her up; kissing her as he sat on the lone chair in the room with her on his lap. Now that his eyes adjusted to the dark, he pulled away from kissing her and brushed the hair away from her face. "I just want to look at you for a moment. I just want to preserve how you look at this moment before everything changes. Your inner beauty. Your innocence. How I can see your unblemished soul in your eyes."

"Things don't have to change because you're leaving," she whispered back while running her fingers through his hair.

"I don't wan't to talk about it anymore," he replied then began to kiss her again.

Her hands began to wander up to his shoulders, to which he took her left hand and put it on his chest.

"I wan't to take the whole shirt off," she mumbled to him and began to kiss his chest downward towards his stomach.

"Let me keep it on," he gave her a snarky laugh, "The one day you wear pants..."

"Sorry," she laughed back.

Right when he was about to slide his hand into her pants, the door of the costume closet busted open with a loud boom.

"Get. The. Hell away from her!" a tall figure yelled. His silhouette was outlined by the light of the hallway. The figure switched the light on with his right hand; revealing it to be the Prime Jeff Winger.

Annie's eyes bugged out as she looked at the man in the doorway and the one whose lap she was sitting on. Her mouth dropped open and she jumped off of Evil Jeff's lap with a sense of panic and immediacy. "Wh-what is going on?" she managed to ask.

A sweaty, Evil Jeff Winger sat up from his chair and glared at Prime Jeff in the doorway.

"Annie, that is Evil Jeff from the Dark Timeline."

"Wh-what? This is not a funny joke!"

"Take his shirt off, you'll see that he is wearing a prosthetic arm. It’s the right one. Did you notice he hasn't really done much with it?"

Annie blushed, "Well, I didn't really notice," she looked down at herself and realized that her jeans were undone. Her eyes widened and she uttered, "gah!" as she grabbed her sweater off the floor.

"What were you going to do to her?" Prime Jeff yelled at Evil Jeff.

Evil Jeff smirked, "I was going to sleep with her...Isn't that pretty obvious?"

He got up from his chair, to which Jeff replied, "Stay where you are, unless you want me to beat your ass."

"Hey man, I'm just gonna get my sports jacket," Evil Jeff grabbed his sports jacket and put his hands up in the air, "See?"

Jeff reached toward Annie with his hand, "Come on."

"Wait a minute," Evil Jeff said. He took a gun out of his jacket and pointed it at Annie. He took her in his arms to restrain her from moving and pointed the gun to her head.

Jeff stood frozen. Annie couldn't get killed, then they would have to repeat the series all over again and next time, they may not be able to break from the script.

"Jeff," Annie gasped, "Top left drawer. Go in my top left drawer in my room and you'll know what to do."

* * *

 

**A Hallway in Greendale- 12:10pm**

Britta caught up with Troy and Abed, who were standing in an empty hallway with Shirley.

"What are you guys waiting for?" Britta whispered to Abed.

Suddenly, they became cornered by Evil Annie and Evil Abed, who appeared from different ends of the hallway. Evil Annie was stroking the gun in her hand as she walked closer to them and said, "I believe it was Rudyard Kipling, who said, 'For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.'"

"It was," Evil Abed confirmed, "The 1967 European spy thriller, _Deadlier than the Male_ was based on his poem, _The Female Species."_

"Thank you, Abed," Evil Annie smiled back at him, "So, it’s not My Jeff that you should be afraid of, if you catch my drift. Although, it’s pretty adorable, actually. You know? Watching him try _so_ hard to adopt an evil persona."

"That," Abed whispered back to Britta.

Evil Abed and Evil Annie cornered them against the wall.

"Well this is certainly odd, isn't it?" Evil Annie began again with a patronizing tone as she examined the gun in her hand, "It was so easy before when there was a script to follow... I guess this time we are going to have to improvise. That wont be a problem though, Abed loves to improvise, don't you, Abed?"

"It’s true," Evil Abed deadpanned.

"Now, just come with us, then we can just avoid all of the stupid 'breaking of people's psyche' because lets just admit to ourselves that we're all pretty fucked up in the first place, anyway. I mean, you can't deny it," Evil Annie cackled as she leaned her head on Evil Abed's shoulder. She then gave them a fake, over-exaggerated frown and whined "Because I would hate to have to shoot you guys here. It would be so messy. Imagine what a mess like that would do to the poor Dean."

"Fine," Britta shrugged, 'Let's go."

Troy's eyes widened at Britta, "What the hell, Britta?"

"We have to convince Annie," Abed whispered into Troy's ear, "We have to keep this going long as we possibly can. If she kills us, then we'll just get reset and then we have to wait another four years. Also, she's gonna take us to the Dreamatorium and we can trick them into going back to the Dark Timeline."

Troy nodded back at Abed, slowly.

"Alright, let's go," Shirley said.

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room Below the Cafeteria- The Prime Timeline**

**12:40pm**

The Study Group, minus Jeff and Pierce, found themselves tied to chairs. Evil Troy came down the stairs, constraining Evil Britta, who was thrashing about from moving. Evil Jeff had Annie tied to a chair; separated away from the rest of the Prime Study group, who were tied to chairs on the other side of the room.

"Found her trying to stop you, Jeff," Evil Troy announced with a lack of enthusiasm, "Britta, would you please stop squirming around. This is just as difficult for me as it is for you."

Evil Britta, who was restrained by Troy, noticed Evil Jeff staring at Prime Annie. She dug her heel into Evil Troy' shin and began to run to the exit.

"Dammit!" Evil Jeff cursed as he ran after her, "Britta, come back here! This wasn't what we agreed on!" He disappeared up the stairwell.

Evil Annie shook her head and commented to Evil Abed, "He should have let us take care of her."

Evil Troy gave her look of disgust and shook his head.

Evil Jeff came down the stairs and back into the large chamber. He lit up a cigarette; something he rarely ever did and announced, "She escaped," He looked around the room, looking at the Prime Study group being held hostage, "She's going to try to find him. Abed, Annie, go find her before she finds him."

"You want us to leave you and Troy here alone?" Evil Annie asked, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I don't know, Annie. What did it sound like I wanted?" Evil Jeff asked with sarcasm.

"Come on, Annie," Evil Abed pulled her by the arm. They went up the stairs and left the room.

Evil Jeff sat in the chair with his eyes closed and with a gun in his hands while Evil Troy sat in a corner next to a drunken Evil Shirley with his arms crossed.

"What's going on?" Britta whispered over to Abed.

"I have no idea. We have gone completely off book. It seems that Jeff is trying to save us, but I have no idea what Evil Britta is doing. I just wish we could talk to Annie. He separated us from her for a reason. She must have told Jeff something that he doesn't want us to now about." They all looked over at Annie, who was wincing.

"Dude," Troy began, "Why is she wincing?"

"I don't know," Abed narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, "She was fine a couple of seconds ago."

"If he hurt her, I'm gonna make sure that boy never sees daylight again," Shirley threatened with a whisper, to which Britta laughed.

"This is not a laughing matter, Britta!" Troy yelled back at her.

"It not like we can die," Britta managed to say through her giggles, "He can shoot me if he wants. I mean, maybe we should repeat the series again. This 'run through' has been a mess."

"Yo, Blondie, shut it!" Evil Jeff yelled over to her, then turned his vision to Annie.

They noticed Evil Jeff look at Annie. He tilted his head and walked over to her. "Are you okay?" he asked her.

"It’s not like you would care," she said with a listless voice as she looked up at him. Her eyes were vulnerable and her lashes were fluttering.

Evil Jeff squatted down, so he was eye level with her, "I want you to be comfortable," he said with a comforting tone as he touched her cheek.

"You do?" she tilted her head back at him.

"This isn't good," Britta deadpanned with a whisper to Abed.

"A man touches that girl's face and she melts faster than butter on a simmering hot frying pan,"Shirley shook her head.

"Of course I do," Evil Jeff replied back to Annie.

* * *

 

**A Hallway in Greendale- The Prime Timeline**

**12:43pm**

Evil Britta ran through the hallways of Greendale. She looked behind her shoulder to see if anyone was following her, then bumped into someone who turned out to be the Dean.

"Britta!" the Dean exclaimed, "Ugh, what happened to your hair?"

"Dean, this is very important," Evil Britta said, out of breath, "Have you seen Jeff?"

"Why, yes. I saw him leave about twenty minutes ago."

"Did he say where he was going?"

"He said he needed to get something for Annie," he shrugged.

"Did he say what is was?"

"Nope," he shook his head.

"What was he wearing?"

"A red dress shirt and jeans."

"Awesome!" she exclaimed before she began to run outside to the parking lot.

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room Below the Cafeteria- The Prime Timeline**

**12:43pm**

Annie smiled back at Evil Jeff, "It’s-it’s my hair. The half-back hairstyle I have is giving me a headache. I must have pulled it too far back when I fixed it. See, I would take the hair clip out, but you have me tied up-"

"You know I can't-"

"I understand," Annie nodded back at him with a smile, then tilted her head to the left at him, "I was just wondering if you could take the hair-clip out for me?"

Evil Jeff smiled back at her, "Yeah, I could do that." He reached over and pulled the hair clip out of her hair. Annie shook her head so her hair was loose; causing Evil Jeff to smile back at her. He pushed her hair back away from her face with a gentle touch.

"This is getting reallllly weird," Troy whispered over to Abed, "Yet, I do not want to look away."

“It’s like a train wreck, car accident, and a naked streaker all combined in one,” Shirley whispered in agreement. 

* * *

 

**GCC Courtyard- The Prime Timeline**

**12:45 pm**

Evil Britta saw a car frantically drive into the parking lot and then park in a teacher's parking space.

Jeff ran out of the car and towards the building.

"You!" he screamed at her.

"Stop! I'm going to help you. We just have to go somewhere-"

"Like I'm going to believe you."

"No, like, for reals. I'm dead serious. They're after me. I'm going to help you. He has them in the Central Air Room below the Cafeteria. The door is guarded and there's only one way to get there."

Jeff cocked his head to the right. The thing about Britta was that if she played it right, then it became difficult to decipher when she lied. Sure, her goofy nature displayed the cracks her in otherwise cool exterior, but he knew breaking her could be hard. If she covered her tracks, she had the ability to make anyone believe anything, something they both had in common.

"How?" he said with suspicion.

"The air vents," she began to look in all directions around her, "Quick, we need to get the hell out of here. They're coming!"

"Who is ‘they’?"

"My Annie and My Abed," she said, her brow crinkled, then uttered a whisper, "They want to kill me."

"I know where we can go," he nodded to her.

She followed him to one of the janitor's closets.

He closed the door and with great force held her up against the door. With the gun he took from Annie's top drawer, he threatened her.

"I like the pink handle," she raised her eyebrows at him, "Are you gonna shoot me with it? Go ahead. It’s not like I can die."

"You know?"

"Of course, I know. Why do you think I betray them every time, well besides that it’s in the script?"

"Betray who? I don't know what you are talking about."

"Meaning they convinced you in the middle of a cycle? Not at the end?"

"Yeah, My Britta convinced me a couple of weeks ago."

"Wow. I'm impressed."

"Do they all know?"

"My Annie and My Abed do, but they don't know that I know."

"Why keep it a secret?"

"Why not?" she smirked back at him.

"Wait a minute, how were you, of all people, able to keep this from them?"

"Does nobody have confidence in me? I kept us having secret sex for a year a secret."

"That wasn't me and you, it was me and My Britta" He let her down from being pinned against the door. "What do I need to do?"

She took out a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. She looked up at the air vent in the closet, "You need to go into the vents, following this map and it will lead you there. I can shut the air off. I know where the switch is."

"If this works so well, then why didn't we do this when the Dean was held captive by Chang?"

"Didn't you use a vent to escape? Also, the air conditioning guy didn't tell you about the vents and didn't Chang have all those twelve year old guards?"

"How do you know so much abo-" Jeff's phone began to ring. He looked at the caller I.D. it was His Britta.

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room Below the Cafeteria- The Prime Timeline**

**12:45pm**

"Your hair looks beautiful wavy," Evil Jeff said, breathless.

"Thanks," Annie smiled back to Evil Jeff as she looked him in the eyes, "I really like the way your eyes look with the green background."

"I don't know if I like where this sexual tension is going," Britta whispered, "I think she's getting Stalherm Syndrome."

"Its Stockholm," Abed corrected, then tilted his head to contemplate the situation.

Evil Jeff uttered an awkward laugh at Annie, who began to laugh awkwardly back. He then turned around to go back to his chair.

Abed stared at Annie, whose eyes shifted over to him for a moment when Evil Jeff's back was turned to her. A smile arose on her lips as she wiggled her eyebrows at Abed for a quick second, causing Abed to smile and add to his previous statement with a whisper, "And I don't think that's the case."

Evil Jeff walked back to his chair.

"I'm calling Jeff," Britta began to fumble around in her back pockets.

"Britta, don't," Abed urged her.

"Listen to him, Britta!" Troy shrieked.

"This is getting ridiculous," she defended.

"You're gonna ruin everything!" Troy replied, to which Britta ignored, "Just like you always do!"

" _Hello?_ " Jeff's voice was heard on the speakerphone.

"Jeff!" Britta replied, "Where the hell are you?"

" _You wouldn't believe me if I told you,_ " he replied, " _Where are you guys? Where is Annie?_ "

"We're in the Central Air Room. Annie's here too. You better come quick, Jeff. Shit is starting to get weird as-" Britta began to say.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Evil Jeff screamed at Britta and walked over to her. He pointed the gun at her, "Give me the phone."

Britta dropped the phone on the floor, "Okay," she nodded, "Take it."

"Troy," Evil Jeff motioned to Evil Troy as he kept aim on Britta, "Pick up that phone and give it to me."

Evil Troy picked up the phone and gave it to Evil Jeff.

"Who is this?" Evil Jeff asked into the phone.

" _Just a fly in the ointment, Jeff. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass,_ " The voice said from the phone.

"Lame Jeff, don't quote _Die Hard_ to me. Do you think I'm stupid enough not to recognize my own voice on the phone?" Evil Jeff replied.

" _Let me speak to Annie_ ," Jeff's voice emitted form the speaker phone.

"Fine, here she is," Evil Jeff sighed.

Evil Jeff walked over to Annie's chair and held up the phone in front of her face.

"Jeff?" she cried.

" _Annie? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?_ " the voice over the phone asked, frantic.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about us, Jeff _._ "

" _I'm coming to get you_!" the phone replied.

Annie looked up at Evil Jeff in the eyes before replying to Her Jeff on the phone, "Don't come, Jeff. Worry about yourself."

" _No, I'm coming!_ "

"Don't come! Jeff, they're out there. They're out there and they're going to find you!" Annie yelled into the phone before Evil Jeff pressed the 'end call,' button.

"Nobody else makes any phone calls without my permission!" Evil Jeff yelled while pointing to himself, "Unless they want to get shot, got that?"

Everyone nodded.

Evil Jeff walked up to Annie and tilted his head at her, "Nice tactic," he commented, "Telling him to not come and get you."

"Maybe I don't want him to come and get me," Annie rose her eyebrows at Evil Jeff, "Maybe I want to stay here with you?"


	6. The Silence of the Chang

**The Prime Timeline**

**GCC Hallway**

**12:45pm**

Evil Britta ran through the halls as she looked both ways in attempt to avoid Evil Abed and Evil Annie. She snuck into the Air-conditioning Repair Annex and turned the heat in the vents off. When she left the air-conditioning control room, she saw Pierce wandering around the hallways.

"Brittles!" he yelled at her with narrowed eyes and walked closer to her, "Ugh, what happened to your hair?"

"What is with people hating my hair?" she shook her head.

"It just seems like you're trying too hard," Pierce replied, "Give me my phone back."

"What do you mean?"

"You stole my phone from me!" Pierce yelled back at her.

"I don't... remember?" Evil Britta replied.

"How do you not remember?" Pierce shook his head, "First you were frenching Winger in the hallway. Then when you two were done being each other's beards, you came over to me, said you could help me access my e-mail and then ran away with my phone!"

“I was, ‘frenching,’ Winger?” Evil Britta asked with a smile.

“Yeah. I can never keep track of you two. It’s worse than Nurse Houlihan and Burns. Now if you would be ever so kind to hive me my phone.” 

Evil Britta began to laugh, "I don't know where it is, Pierce," she then reached out, patted his arm and smiled, "It was good to see you."

Pierce stood still in the hallway as he watched who he thought to be His Britta run down the hallway.

Evil Britta turned a corner and saw Evil Annie and Evil Abed walking down the hallways together. She stood with her back against the locker; hiding around the corner and hoping they wouldn't see her.

"Abed?" Evil Annie asked.

"Yeah?" Evil Abed responded.

"How did we break from the script?"

"Something must have happened to cause the script to essentially disappear."

"So I can do whatever I want?" Evil Annie rose her eyebrows at him.

"Pretty much... You want to kill Our Britta, don't you?" Evil Abed asked her.

"Did I say that I was going to now that we don't have to follow a script?" Evil Annie tilted her head at him with a smirk, "Besides I know it would piss Jeff off too much and we would reset. It’s kind of funny though, you know, him thinking that we're real and all and how he thinks that if we kill Britta, she would really die."

"It is pretty amusing," Evil Abed agreed, "He takes everything way too seriously."

Evil Britta saw them turn a corner and then eyed a janitor's closet to hide in.

* * *

 

**GCC Air Vents- The Prime Timeline**

**12:50pm**

Jeff crawled army style through the vents; following the instructions given to him by Evil Britta. As he reached the end of the vent, he realized that the vent he needed to pass through had been monkey proofed by a strange wired netting.

"Shit," Jeff cursed,"Now I know how Bruce Willis felt," he reached into his back pocket and called Evil Britta.

" _Hello?_ " she asked.

"I'm lost. The way I was supposed to go was blocked."

_"Are you kidding me? What are we supposed to do now? We'll never be able to surprise them this way. I told you what they had planned, right_?"

"Yeah, she's going to trick me by pretending that we are characters from _Mad Men_ using that Dreama-thing-"

_"Its a Dreamatorium,_ " Evil Britta corrected, " _What are we supposed to do now_?"

Jeff sighed, "I have an idea, but its going to be risky and I don't think you are going to like it."

_"What? Please, don't tell me I have to leave this janitor's closet."_

"Worse," he replied, "you need to go to the mental hospital and ask Chang how to get to the room. He's the only guy who knows about the vents besides Troy and we can't get help from Troy for obvious reasons."

He didn't hear Evil Britta reply on the other line of the phone.

"Ev-I mean, Britta are you there?"

" _Yeah...I'll do it. I call you when I figure out what to do._ "

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room Below the Cafeteria- The Prime Timeline**

**12:50pm**

Evil Jeff lit up another cigarette; indicating his stress from the plan falling apart.

"Can I have a drag?" Annie motioned her head towards the cigarette in Evil Jeff's hand.

"You smoke?" he crinkled his forehead at her.

"Sometimes," she said casually, "Usually only when I get drunk with Britta."

"No, you shouldn't be smoking."

"Well, neither should you," she responded, raising her eyebrows at him.

"Touche," Evil Jeff replied.

"You do know it causes wrinkles and yellows the teeth? I wouldn't think you would want to ruin that perfect face of yours."

"Some would say that it’s pointy," Evil Jeff said as he looked at Britta out of the corner of his eye. 

"Well, then they can't appreciate what's right in front of them. Come on, just one drag. I really need it. I'm kind of stressed out."

"Fine," he shrugged, then walked over to her and squatted down eye level with her. He held the cigarette in front of her mouth.

"She's gonna cough her head off," Britta laughed while shaking her head as she watched the scene, "One night, I tried to teach her how to do the French inhale and-"

"What are you two doing smoking?' Shirley whispered in an accusatory tone to Britta.

"Calm down. Technically I quit. Abed was there too and we were drunk," Britta rolled her eyes "Troy was asleep."

"And I'm glad I was because I hate smoking," Troy winced and shook his head, "It makes me all woozy."

"She can take it," Abed defended her, "She knows what she is doing."

* * *

 

**A Hallway in Greendale- The Prime Timeline**

**12:52pm**

Evil Britta ran down the hallway to the parking lot; trying to get to Chang to help Jeff. She felt someone grab her by the arm as she turned a corner.

"Dammit, Abed!" she cursed at Evil Abed, who had a firm grip on her.

A female voice in the distance began to say, "Here we are, chasing the rabbit for Jeff while he sits on his ass, once again, making us do all the work for him," Evil Annie appeared around the corner and looked Britta in the eyes with a small, condescending smile. She walked closer to Britta, who was being restrained by Abed, and pushed Britta's hair away from her face while whispering, "The ever so fleeting rabbit. Cautious of predators. Always running away from her commitments. Fucking every male rabbit in sight who offers her the smallest amount of attention... You must have felt pretty accomplished there for a second. You know, with escaping and all, but we all know in the end, Britta can't do anything right."

She rolled her eyes at Annie, "You know, I did feel very accomplished," Evil Britta smiled, raising her eyebrows, "And I didn't even need a gun."

"Jeff wouldn't trust you with a gun," Evil Annie shot back with discontent.

"I usually consider Jeff to be a pretty logical guy of sound mind, yet here he is, giving a psychotic person a gun," Evil Britta replied back.

"I'm not psychotic!" Evil Annie screamed at her, then calmed herself to say, "He trusts me."

"I really, really wish I could tell you what he was going to do to her," Evil Britta laughed.

"To-to" Evil Annie began to stutter, "L-lame Annie?"

Evil Britta shot her a wide smile and nodded.

"Wh-what was it?"Evil Annie asked with her brow furrowed.

Evil Britta looked up at the clock in the hall; any minute, class would be let out and the hallway would swarm with students.

"I'll tell you if Abed lets go of my arm," Evil Britta replied.

"Annie," Evil Abed began, "I may not be able to read clocks, but I can see in the window to that classroom that Fat Neil is packing up his bag, which means class is -"

Evil Annie, rose her index finger at Evil Abed, silencing him, "What. Was. He. Going. To. Do?"

Suddenly, the lecture let out and the hallway became crowded. Evil Britta elbowed Evil Abed in the stomach, releasing her from his grasp and ran for the door to escape through the crowd.

"Fuck!" Evil Annie screamed as she could not do anything without causing a scene, "How the hell does she keep doing that?"

"Come on, let's follow her," Evil Abed grabbed Evil Annie's hand and pulled her through the crowd.

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room Below the Cafeteria-The Prime Timeline**

**12:53pm**

Annie looked into Evil Jeff's eyes as she took a drag from his cigarette. She then blew the smoke out into his face.

"Is she trying to piss him off?" Troy panicked.

"No, she's trying to go all Katharine Hepburn on him," Britta whispered back, "See she wants to bone him bad!"

"It’s Audrey Hepburn," Abed corrected, "Watch. That may not be the case, Britta."

* * *

 

**A Hallway in GreendaleThe Prime Timeline**

**12:55pm**

The Dean, while walking to his office, noticed a significant drop in the temperature of the school. Students started to put on their coats and wore gloves to keep warm. The Dean began rubbing his arms to keep himself warm.

"Dean!" Pierce yelled, "I don't pay tuition to this place to freeze my ass off!"

"Sorry, Pierce," the Dean winced, "It seems like the heat has been turned off. I can't find Troy to fix it, so I guess I'm gonna have to turn it back on myself."

"Fine, just fix it. I can't leave here until I find Brittles. She has my phone, which has the automatic start on my car."

"Oh, Britta," the Dean shook his head, "have you seen what she's done to her hair?"

"It’s petty bad, huh?" Pierce replied, "Could I use a computer in your office to access the tracking chip in my phone?"

"I guess so. Why not?" the Dean shrugged.

* * *

 

**The GCC Air Vents-The Prime Timeline**

**1:00pm**

Jeff laid down in the air vents in an uncomfortable position. As he waited for Evil Britta to call him with further instructions, it started to get hotter.

"What the hell?" Jeff began sweating and took his red dress shirt off, so his sweat would not ruin it.

"Go in the vents, Jeff," he said to himself with a mocking tone, "That way we can surprise them, Jeff. I'll turn the heat off so its not too hot, Jeff. Why can't anything normal happen to me?"

* * *

 

**The Central Air RoomThe Prime Timeline**

**1:00pm**

Evil Jeff paced back and forth with his real hand in his pocket; looking down on the ground, his phone began to ring.

"Hello?" he asked.

" _J-j-eff!_ " the phone voice on the phone panicked.

"What, Annie?" he sighed.

" _She-she-she-she is going to the psychiatric hospital,_ " Evil Annie gasped, " _Wh-why would she need to go there?_ "

"Annie, calm down," Evil Jeff replied while rolling his eyes.

" _Okay. I'm sorry._ "

"It’s okay, now take a deep breath."

" _Done_ ," she replied.

"Good. Now listen to me, okay?"

" _Alright._ "

"Do not follow her into the hospital, you got that?"

" _Mmmhmm_."

"Park at the Riverside Falls rest stop across the street and watch her go in and out of the building."

" _Okay, okay,_ " Evil Annie replied.

"Do not, under any circumstances, leave that car. Even if she tries to approach you. If she does try to approach you, let Abed talk to her. Do not accept anything she gives you, promise me, okay?"

" _Promise._ "

"It’s going to be alright, okay. Now, I have to go. Watch her carefully."

" _Alright, bye_ ," Evil Annie said with a high pitched, worried voice.

Evil Troy rose form his corner, narrowing his eyes at Jeff, "Dude!" he yelled, his voice causing everyone in the room to cringe, "This is getting ridiculous!"

Evil Jeff closed his eyes, hung up his phone, and pivoted around to face Evil Troy, "Excuse me, Troy?"

"This is crazy! Britta has run away! Annie is ten times worse than when we got her released from the hospital and Abed-Abed, well even though he is my best friend, this is just, like, really stupid! We need to go home and send Annie back to the hospital to make her better because she is not in good shape, Jeff. Maybe Britta should trick her into going in there!"

"Annie is better than she ever has been before!" Evil Jeff yelled back at him.

"She scares the crap out of you, Jeff," Evil Troy widened his eyes at Evil Jeff and tilted his head, "You just don't want to admit it! That's why you haven't slept with her yet, even though she practically malls you every time Britta isn't around!"

Evil Jeff gritted his teeth, "I haven't slept with her because it would upset Britta too much and she would have ran away!"

"Well, she ran away, anyway!" Evil Troy yelled back at him, "Annie and Abed have lost it and I can't sit by and let this happen anymore! They don't think we are real, Jeff! They think we are fictional characters! They need help! They're gonna kill Britta!"

"Troy!" Evil Jeff yelled back, "Sit the fuck back down over there! Abed and Annie will be fine once we reclaim our former lives! I don't need your input! You're just jealous that they don't include you as much as they used to because you're too much of a pussy to do anything!"

Evil Troy began to tear up, "Th-that's not true."

"Oh, so I guess you weren't crying yesterday because they played Inspector Spacetime without you?" Evil Jeff sarcastically taunted him.

"It’s not playing. It’s an homage and I-I wa-was not crying!" Evil Troy began to hold back tears, but he couldn't. His eyes became red and he fell apart, bawling, "Th-they don't re-enact it fun anymore! They are scary when they portray it now and it gives me nightmares!" Tears fell as he walked back to the corner where Evil Shirley was passed out, sleeping.

Evil Jeff turned around and saw Annie smiling at him as she sat tied to her chair.

"You know," Annie looked at Evil Jeff, raising her eyebrows, "I like how aggressive you are."

"Really?" he flashed her a smile.

"You see, Our Jeff, was never that aggressive...You make people listen to you. You intimidate them and you're ruthless. This aggression in you is going to vastly improve your lawyering skills. I get that," she nodded, "A leader needs to put people in their place."

"Thank you," Evil Jeff smiled back at her. Evil Jeff noticed how the ropes on Annie's chair were chafing her wrists. "Are those ropes too tight?"

"It’s fine. I mean, I know you need to keep me tied up. I mean, I know the others would never trust me," Annie batted her eyelashes at him.

"She's brilliant," Abed whispered with a small smile as he stared at the scene before him.

"Abed!" Britta yelled with a whisper, "She obviously has Stolkhelm Syndrome! She's going to go all Patty Hearst on us! Look at her eyeing that gun on his waist!"

"It’s Stockholm and no, she doesn't. I can tell," Abed nodded back.

"Patty Hearst? Again?" Troy shook his head at Britta, "Do you only have a limited number of references?"

"No," Britta mumbled, "I can reference other things if I choose to, like, um...I don't know. Give me a break, I have no one writing witty lines for me to say."

"Sweetie, you usually don't have that many witty things to say, anyway," Shirley said with compassion.

"That's subjective," Britta replied.

Evil Jeff's phone rang again. He looked at the caller I.D. and sighed.

"What?" he said with annoyance.

" _Guess who?_ " Evil Britta said.

"Britta there is this 'new' invention called caller I.D. I believe it started to become popular in the late eighties, so people could-"

" _Whatever_ ," she interrupted.

"Why are you at the mental hospital?" Evil Jeff asked her.

" _No reason,_ " she replied, " _Tell them not to kill me. They're starting to freak me out._ "

"Don't worry," Evil Jeff replied, "Annie's gun isn't loaded. I gave her one with an empty magazine. You shouldn't have ran away in the first place."

He heard her sigh on the other end of the line, " _Thank God. They followed me here and they've been waiting for me to leave._ "

"Yeah, they called," he replied, "Now, what are you doing there?"

" _I needed to get some things,_ " she said.

"I told you that we are not giving Annie anti-psychotics, so if you stole any for her, then it was a waste of your time."

" _Fine,_ " she replied, short and declarative. After a pause, she added, " _Jeff, let's just go home and forget about this. It’s still not too late_."

"We are home, Britta."

" _I like our timeline, Jeff. It’s where we belong_."

"What about Annie and Shirley?"

" _We can help them in our own timeline. We can get Abed a psychiatrist, get a better psychiatrist for Annie, and we can send Shirley to rehab_."

"We've gone too far... I don't think there is any going back."

" _Okay,_ " she replied.

"So just come back. I forgive you, Britta. Come back now and everything can go as planned."

" _J-Jeff?_ "

"Yeah?"

" _I'm sorry._ "

"For what?"

The phone hung up.

* * *

 

**Riverside Psychiatric Hospital-The Prime Timeline**

**1:03pm**

Evil Britta walked into the mental hospital. She'd been there before, once, to see Annie right after her first attempt. She remembered how pale Annie was. How innocent she looked, sleeping soundly, but then she remembered the gauze on both of Annie's wrists, stained red from when they stitched her up to stop the bleeding. Evil Britta shook her head, she didn't want to think about that anymore. She walked up to the front desk and took her ID out of her purse, sliding it across the registration desk to the medical receptionist.

"I would like to see Benjamin Chang, please."

"Are you family?"

"A former student."

"Ah, yes. Poor Ben," the receptionist said, "Normally we wouldn't allow visitors unless they're family, especially for those in the high security area. However, Ben doesn't get many visitors and socialization is important to his therapy. Let me ask his doctor."

Britta waited as the receptionist talked on the phone.

"Dr. Georges will be with you in a moment."

Britta nodded back to her.

The doctor came down the hallway, shook Evil Britta's hand, "Hello, Dr. Georges."

"Britta Perry," she nodded, shaking his hand. She remembered this guy, in her timeline he was Annie's psychiatrist.

"Interesting hair color... Let's walk and talk," he said, then gestured with his hand, "come, on."

She began to follow him down the hospital hallway. Dr. Georges, using his I.D badge to get through the heavy, high security doors.

"Now," he began, “Benjamin Chang has many different disorders which are conflicting with his treatment. That's why he's been difficult to treat. It’s all about getting that prescription cocktail right."

They reached the highest level of lock-up for the patients. Dr. Georges scanned his card, they both wen't through the door. A man in a security uniform stood between them and another door, which led to the hallway of cells.

"He thinks I'm his nemesis," Dr. Georges laughed, "he hates me. So, you'll have to go in alone."

"What?" Evil Britta's eyes widened, "I have to go past that row of crazy people to talk to Chang?"

Dr. Georges winced, "Oooww, we don't like to use the word 'crazy' here. We prefer mentally disturbed or on a mental health vacation."

"Sorry," Evil Britta nodded, "I should take note of that."

"Anyway," Dr. Georges began, “here are the rules, Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing at all! Do you understand me? We can't have him escaping and living in the air vents, kidnapping and trying to harm people."

"Okay," Britta nodded.

"And I mean it," Dr. Georges shook his finger at her, then looked out the glass into the hallway, "he's a crafty little man..." he looked at Britta who was staring at him and said, "That's not racist...because he really is. I have no clue how he lived in those air vents without being noticed. He refuses to tell me, but one day, one day I will figure out what is going on inside that head."

Britta sighed, then the security man, buzzed her into the hallway. She walked to the end of the hallway and sat in the metal chair placed in front of a dark, glass cell.

"Chang?" she asked.

"Closer. Closer..." He said.

* * *

 

**In Annie Edison's Car at Riverside Falls Rest Stop (Across the Street from Riverside Psychiatric Hospital)- The Prime Timeline**

**1:10pm**

"What is she doing at the mental hospital?" Evil Annie asked, her voice shaky and unsure. Her face dropped as tears formed in her eyes, "She's not tricking me to go back there is she?"

Evil Abed turned, looking her in the eyes and shook his head. He cupped her face with his hand, "Listen to me, I will never let them send you back there. Okay?"

She gave him a slow nod, "Abed?"

"Yeah?"

"Sometimes I feel like you are the only one who truly cares what happens to me."

After a pause, Evil Abed thought for a moment about the original plan and how His Jeff and His Britta were manipulating her. He came to a realization and said, while staring out the window, "We should run away from here."

"I'm not doing that," she shook her head and sniffed her nose, "What about everyone else? What about Troy?"

"We could come back and get him later. I thought everything would change here. I thought this would make everything else better, but for once, I was wrong. Think about it," Evil Abed began to drift off, "We could be like a Bonnie and Clyde, Kit and Holly, or Pumpkin and Honey. In this Timeline, there's a gun in your bedroom. We could get that and then we both would have one."

"Abed, I am not robbing banks or diners with you. Despite us being fictional, I'm not doing that."

"What else do we have, Annie?" he asked her, "What do we have here? Let's go on the open road...where all we can do is drive. Drive away from here."

"We have our friends, Abed," her eyes widened as she tilted her head at him, "We can't do this. I'm supposed to be the irrational one, here, not you."

"Would you rob banks with Jeff?"

"No, I wouldn't rob banks with Je _ff_ ," she replied, emphasizing the 'f's,' "Imagine how much he would order me around. He’s not my dad and it’s starting to piss me off, especially now with the way he looks at Lame Annie. Besides, Jeff only let me out of the hospital when he needed to use me for this..."

"You'd kill Britta, but you wouldn't rob a bank?"

"Point taken...Britta is replaceable though, you know that."

"Yeah, but the other five Britta's would be the same as this one."

"Also true," she admitted.

"Let's go then, we may never be able to break from the script again," he rose his eyebrows at her, "Run away with me, Annie."

* * *

 

**Riverside Psychiatric Hospital-The Prime Timeline**

**1:10pm**

"What brings you here?" Chang asked from behind the glass of his mental asylum cell, "Ugh and what did you do to your hair?"

"Listen," Evil Britta whispered, "I-I need your help."

"Haha, you think that after you guys got me imprisoned in here, I'm gonna help you?"

"I'm not who you think I am."

"You think because you wear hipster glasses and dyed your hair that it disguises you? Are you really that dumb?"

"Do you believe in parallel universes?"

"Please, _Sliders_ was my favorite TV show in the nineties. It was like a thousand times better than the _X-Files_."

"Well, that is your opinion," she began, "And despite you being the only person on earth who thinks _Sliders_ was a better show than _The X-Files_ , I have something to say that may shock you."

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room-The Prime Timeline**

**1:10pm**

"Hey, can I get a pizza?" Troy yelled over to Evil Jeff, "You know _Dog Day Afternoon_? You can’t starve hostages."

"I could go for a pizza," Britta nodded.

"Mushroom?" Abed suggested.

"I could _make_ a pizza if someone untied me," Shirley added.

"Why are you freaks not taking this fucking seriously! I have you tied up and I've threatened you with a fucking gun for Christ's sake and your precious innocent over there is developing Stockholm Syndrome! Instead I get your little commentary of murmurs, laughter and whispers!" Evil Jeff said in a threatening whisper, while he dragged his fingers through his hair, "You know he's not going to rescue you? Right? Because if you knew what was in the works right now, you would be panicking."

"So no pizza?" Troy tilted his head at him.

"Fine!" Evil Jeff threw his hands up in the air and took his cell phone out, "You guys wanted mushroom, right?"

"Yeah. Britta is still a vegetarian in this Timeline," Abed replied.

Evil Jeff sat down in his chair with his phone to his ear, "Hi, I would like to order a large mushroom pizza..."

After he finished ordering pizza, Evil Jeff stared at Annie for a couple minutes, then got up and walked over to her. He squatted down, so he was eye level with her, "Listen," he said with a gentle whisper. I'm going to untie you, but you have to stay in that chair, okay?"

She looked at him directly in the eyes and said without blinking, "I promise I won't move from this spot."

Abed spoke with a whisper to his friends, "This is great. She's not crazy. We just need to last past three. That's the time they send us to the Dark Timeline. Then we might not get sent back."

"And we are finally getting pizza," Troy nodded, "Everything seems to be working out."

"One problem," Britta said, "She still doesn't know that we are fictional. If we don't convince her and we get sent back then we have to deal with this 'Evil Jeff driving her crazy' all over again."

"Way to ruin the moment!" Shirley scolded.

"Yeah, Britta," Troy scoffed. “Man you’re like the Trix yogurt to our Gogurt,”

* * *

 

**Riverside Psychiatric Hospital-The Prime Timeline**

**1:15pm**

"Is the Chang in your universe imprisoned or in a mental hospital?" Chang asked her.

"No, he has, like, a job somewhere," Evil Britta replied. She cleared her throat, “He’s actually the, um, dean of the school.”

“Really?” Chang’s eyes widened, “So no Changnesia?” 

“No, because Changnesia is stupid,” Britta narrowed her eyes at him, “My Study group was in the badass dark timeline. No one would fall for Changnesia there because we’re all super defensive and don’t trust each other. Also, did I happen to mention that it’s stupid?”  

"So can you do it?" Chang whispered to Evil Britta, "What we discussed? Can you get me out of this timeline?"

She paused for a minute, then nodded, "I think so, but Jeff has to get to the Central Air Room first, otherwise I can't use the Dreamatorium."

"Awesome, bring out that map you've been hiding and call Jeff."

"Wait," Evil Britta whispered, "How are you going to get out of here?"

Chang gave her a sly smiled and shifted his eyes towards the ceiling.

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room-The Prime Timeline**

**1:20pm**

Evil Jeff removed the ropes from Annie's chair, "Is that better?" he whispered as he let her out of the ropes and rubbed her wrist.

Annie nodded back at him and replied with a breathy whisper, "Much better."

Evil Jeff backed away from her with a slow, cautious pace and sat back in his chair. Annie remained still, not moving from her seat.

"She's gaining his trust," Abed nodded.

"Its Lime-a Syndrome?" Britta turned to Abed.

"Its Lima Syndrome, but yeah," Abed responded.

Annie gripped the seat of the chair, every limb of her body were still, but her fingers which tapped the bottom of the seat with nervous patters.

Evil Jeff turned his head towards her, got out of his chair, and then walked over to her again, "I'm not going to lie. I'm actually very happy that my plan was interrupted."

"Oh really?" she raised her eyebrows at him.

He nodded back at her, then pulled her chin up with his index and middle finger, "Because I never would have seen this side of you."

* * *

 

**In Annie Edison's Car at Riverside Falls Rest Stop (Across the Street from Riverside Psychiatric Hospital)-The Prime Timeline**

**1:20pm**

"I can't run away with you," Evil Annie held a vacant stare on the dashboard.

"Don't you want to entertain the audience?" Evil Abed asked her.

She turned her head towards him and smiled, "I just want things to be normal."

"Things will never be normal again, Annie. In fact, they never were in the first place, were they?"

"I know...It’s just that it’s really not fair."

"What isn't fair?"

"That they had to make us, our pasts, our lives, so dark. All because it was a good joke."

"If we left, we wouldn't have to be us. We could be other characters."

She grabbed his hand, "I'm having enough difficulty playing Evil. It’s starting to get exhausting."

"You play it well, almost effortlessly."

"Thank you," she smiled back.

* * *

 

**GCC Air Vents-The Prime Timeline**

**1:20pm**

Jeff laid in the air vent; melting from the heat and anxiously awaiting for further instructions. Finally, his phone rang.

" _Yo Winger, in need of some air-vent changpertise?_ " Chang asked on the phone.

"What do you think?"

" _Alright, you gotta listen to me because if you move at the wrong changle, then you could be in some trouble._ "

"What do you mean?"

" _The monkeys... Don't let them hear you_."

"I thought the school caught Annie's Boobs?"

" _Yeah, but Annie's Boobs found some friends when the carnival came to town and they're in there somewhere... you better be careful_."

"This is just great, tell the Britta that's with you that I'm going to-"

" _Listen, I don't have time to deal with this. I have a enchangment I have to get to as soon as possible. Take a right, then a left, then another left, then another right, then go straight for like eight crawls, but then you have to be careful. There's this big drop that leads to the central venting system. You're gonna have to figure out a way to get down it, then you'll be there in the Central Air Room._ "

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room-The Prime Timeline**

**1:25pm**

Annie's eyes shifted towards the gun in the holster on Evil Jeff's pants, "Can I hold it? The gun, I mean. You can take the ammunition out."

"Alright, but only for a minute. You aren't going to try anything, are you? I shouldn't have untied you."

"I just want to hold it."

"Okay," he nodded back, then took the gun out of its holster from his waist and removed the magazine without checking the bullets inside of it. As he handed her the gun, she paused and held his hand on the handle. He stared into her eyes and attempted to read her face. He released his grasp on the handle and allowed her to hold it, alone.

"Glock 17?" Annie rose her eyebrows at him, "Someone wanted accuracy, huh?"

"That's because I didn't want to kill any of you."

"Here," Annie handed the gun back to him. Evil Jeff reloaded it then meandered around Annie's chair.

"This is getting really effed up, Abed. We have to do something if we don't want to repeat the same four years again!" Britta hissed, "And I don't know about you, but I can't take it anymore!"

"She knows what she is doing," Abed nodded.

"Are you sure? Because she looked like she was about to eat that boy's face off," Shirley added.

* * *

 

**In Annie Edison's Car at Riverside Falls Rest Stop (Across the Street from Riverside Psychiatric Hospital)-The Prime Timeline**

**1:25pm**

"Abed?" Annie asked him.

"Yeah?"

"What was Jeff going to do to her...to Prime Annie?"

"You really want to know?"

She nodded back to him.

_Flashback- The Dark Timeline- November 07, 2012_

_"So, how are we gonna do this?" Jeff asked Abed and Britta as they all smoked cigarettes around Jeff's kitchen island._

_"Well, we trick Troy. That should be pretty easy," Abed announced with no emotion, "I can do it."_

_"And we'll have Annie emotionally batter Britta," Jeff declared, to which Britta scowled back at him, "Abed has already seemed to conditioned her into hating you."_

_"We set up Andre to cheat and that will have Shirley drink again," Abed replied._

_"Good idea," Jeff nodded, "What about Jeff, Abed and Annie?"_

_"How about we taunt Annie with Adderall?" Abed suggested._

_"Yeah, but then how do we get to Abed and Jeff?" Jeff asked._

_Britta lit up another cigarette and muttered as she held a vacant stare on the ash tray, "Everyone is a robot..."_

_"Excuse me, Britta?" Jeff asked._

_"Fake, Star Trek arms. I saw them on the Today show... this morning, which is on NBC from seven to ten a.m. Every day, including weekends," she said with a still, vacant stare._

_"You mean Star Wars," Abed corrected._

_"Whatever," Britta waved her hand at him. She took a drag of the cigarette and continued, "You're gonna get one, Jeff." She pointed at Jeff without taking her stare off the ashtray._

_"Total body prosthesis," Abed announced, tilting his head back at her._

_"What does that mean?" she asked Abed._

_"Robocop? I wish Troy would actively participate in this. You don't get any of my references."_

_"So I get a fake arm, big deal?" Jeff said, "I don't see how that helps."_

_"Then, you sleep with her..." Britta drifted off._

_"And convince her that everyone has turned into a robot," Abed added, "Lame Abed figures out what is going on, tells Lame Jeff. Lame Jeff goes to find Lame Annie and Lame Abed go to find Lame Troy. It’s perfect."_

_Britta shook her head, "We can't do that."_

_"You were the one who suggested it," Abed replied._

_"But it’s...it’s, like, too fucked up, even for us to do."_

_"I'll do it," Jeff declared, " I want us to be in the Prime Timeline. I want Shirley to have her kids and I want Annie to be able to go to school."_

_"You just want to sleep with her," Britta scoffed._

_"That's not it!" Jeff yelled back at her._

_"Then why have you been sneaking off to the Prime Timeline to watch her, Jeff?"_

_"I have not!"_

_"Yes, you have! You watched her all summer!"_

_"No, I didn't!"_

**Present-The Prime Timeline**

"There she goes!" Evil Abed said in the middle of the story, to bring attention to Britta leaving the mental hospital, "We have to follow her back to Greendale."

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room-The Prime Timeline**

**1:30pm**

Evil Jeff stood in front of the chair and offered his left hand to Annie.

"Dude!" Evil Troy squeaked, "What are you doing?"

"Sit down and shut it," Evil Jeff turned his head around his shoulder and yelled back.

Annie, looked at his hand, his real hand, and grabbed it. He pulled her up from the chair and into his embrace. She looked up at him. Her heart raced out of nervousness.

He stroked her wavy hair with his left hand, then looked her in the eyes, "Are you happy, Annie?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded to him.

"Do you want to stay here, with me?"

"More than anything," she replied.

"Abed!" Britta began to panic, "I think I was right."

"You're never right. Just wait, she has something up her sleeve. I can tell by her body language," Abed whispered back.

Evil Jeff, grasped her back and pulled her closer. He leaned down and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. She pulled away and said, "I want you so badly right now."

"I can't leave Our Troy alone with them."

Annie kissed him again. This time, her hand wandered across his chest and to his waist. She grabbed the gun out of the holster, backed away, and pointed it toward him.

"Untie them! Now!" Annie ordered Evil Jeff with a low, demanding voice.

"Annie? It’s me, Jeff," He rose his hands in the air and began to walk closer to her.

"Untie them! Now!" she barked at him, "Or I will shoot you in the fucking head. If you try to hurt my friends, I. Will. Fuck. You. Up. That's a promise."

Troy and Abed's mouths dropped as they turned their heads to look at each other.

"Badass Annie has returned," Abed nodded with a slight smile.

"That's great and all," Britta replied, "But she still thinks we're real. We need to convince her the second he lets us go."

"Ugh," Shirley, Abed and Troy groaned.

"Really?" Shirley looked over at Britta, pursing her lips, "Can't you rejoice about something that goes right?"

* * *

 

**The GCC Air Vents-The Prime Timeline**

**1:30pm**

As Jeff continued to army crawl through the vents, following Chang's instructions, he began to hear a banging noise.

"What the hell?" he said with wide-eyes. He looked down and noticed a hole in the air vent, a bullet hole.

 

**A Hallway in Greendale-The Prime Timeline**

**1:30pm**

Evil Britta ran into the front entrance of Greendale, where she was met by Pierce.

"Britta Perry! Lesbian, anarchist, thief! Give me my phone now!" Pierce yelled.

"I told you before, I," she pointed to herself, "do not have your phone! Someone else does!"

"Then why does by phone GPS tracker say that it was last seen here in this hallway?"Pierce raised one eyebrow at her.

"I don't know, Pierce!" she yelled back, "You know what? I don't have time for this! I have to go now-" Evil Britta felt each of her arms be grabbed. She looked to her left and right, to see Evil Abed and Evil Annie on each side of her.

"Hey Pierce!" Evil Annie said with a cheery demeanor and a wide smile, "What's going on?"

"Brittles took my phone and she won't give it back, " he gestured to Evil Britta.

"Someone else has it, Pierce!" Evil Britta exclaimed, "Please get out of here before things get-"

Evil Annie smirked and interrupted Evil Britta, "We'll get it back for you. We just need to have a little talk with Britta, don't we Abed?"

"It’s true," Evil Abed nodded, "We'll get the phone back for you."

"Thanks you guys," Pierce nodded as he watched Evil Abed and Evil Annie take Evil Britta around the corner.

Evil Annie pinned Evil Britta against the lockers and pointed the gun to Britta's temple, "Now you better fucking come with us! Or I'm gonna blow your head off!"

"Annie?" Evil Britta replied.

"Yes?" she answered with anger in her eyes.

"That gun is not loaded," Evil Britta said with a calm, matter of fact tone.

"Of course it is! Jeff trusts me! See?" Evil Annie held the gun up in the air and shot it. A bullet released from the gun and made a hole in the styrofoam ceiling which caused a ding noise from hitting something metal, like an air vent. 

"Shit," Evil Britta cursed shaking her head, "What a fucking idiot. He gave you the wrong gun."

"Wrong gun?"

"Jeff was supposed to give you an unloaded gun, so you wouldn't try to kill me."

"That's a lie!"

"It’s not."

"You mean...he was betraying me too?"

Evil Britta nodded, "That's not the only way he was going to betray you..."

"Wh-what else?" Evil Annie tilted her head at Evil Britta.

"He was gonna trick you into thinking he loved you so you would listen to him."

"S-so that and he was going to trick Prime Annie into sleeping with him?" Evil Annie began to suck her bottom lip.

"Yeah," Evil Britta shuddered.

"And you two were still going to sleep together?"

Evil Britta nodded back to her.

Tears began to fall from Evil Annie's eyes. She began to breathe in and out; hyperventilating.

"Are you okay?" Evil Britta asked her.

"I'm fine!" Evil Annie said through gritted teeth. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She said with a calm voice, "Abed?"

"Yeah, Annie?" he replied.

"I think it’s time for us to take care of Jeff," she said with a matter of fact tone.

"Really? ...Are you sure?" he asked her with wide eyes.

She shook her head. Her face displayed a look of disgust, "He's gone too far this time."

"Okay," Evil Abed nodded to her, "I agree."

Evil Annie looked at her watch, "We still have an hour and a half. Let's go to the costume closet and get props to pay homage to what we were talking about earlier," she raised her eyebrows at him.

Evil Abed enacted a small smile, "Hot, hot, hot."

Evil Annie put the gun in her sweater and began to walk down the hallway, "Abed, take Britta with us."

Evil Abed dragged Britta by the arm down the hallway, following Annie, "Wait, what is going on?" Evil Britta asked.

"Didn't you hear her?" he replied, "She wants to put Jeff in his place."

"Meaning, she wants to... kill him?" Evil Britta's eyes widened.

"Probably," Evil Abed replied.

"Annie! Wait!" Evil Britta yelled as Abed dragged her down the hallway.

Annie stopped mid-walk, turned around and shrugged, "Yeah?"

"I thought you loved, Jeff!"

"That was before I became the primary antagonist of this story... I've got bigger plans now. Because, Britta, 'By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this - One of you is lying,' Dorothy Parker-Women's Studies, Sophomore year," Annie smirked, then added, "I don't love Jeff... I needed some character motivation. Don't you see? They needed me to love Jeff so he could manipulate me, so he could lie to me," she began to smile; shaking her head and declared with a calm demeanor, "They aren't in control anymore... Jeff isn't in control anymore and I can do whatever I please. No one fucks with me like that and gets away with it, especially someone like Jeff Winger," she turned around and began to walk down the hallway, humming 'Daybreak.'

"Jesus Christ, she's fucking creepy," Evil Britta commented, "And who the hell remembers a poem from a class they took like two years ago? Abed, this is spiraling out of control! Tell her to stop!"

"Britta, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity," he replied, "We're the villains. It’s our job to create conflict for the hero."

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room-The Prime Timeline**

**1:35pm**

"Get. In. That. Chair!" Annie yelled at Evil Jeff, then turned her attention to Evil Troy, "Untie them, Evil Troy!"

Evil Troy nodded to her and untied the members on the Prime Study Group.

When Annie's attention was temporarily diverted, Evil Jeff sat up in the chair and began to walk with caution over to her. Annie saw him out of the corner of her eye.

"Stop!" she yelled and aimed her gun up in the air. She prepared herself for the sound of the bullet leaving, but instead all she heard was a click.

"What the hell?" she ejected the round from the chamber and shot again, and again, up in the air. Then checked the magazine of the gun. She looked up with wide eyes, "It-it-it-it’s not loaded...these are snap caps..."

"Fuck," Evil Jeff muttered, then began to laugh out of nervousness, "She has it," he uttered through his laughter, "Sh-she has the loaded gun..."

"Who has it?" Annie asked.

"My Annie," he pointed to himself, "That's what you get for giving a woman a gun while she's trying to seduce you!" he exclaimed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Shirley asked narrowing her eyes at him.

"It means she was trying to shove her hands down my pants when I was giving her the gun earlier!" Evil Jeff snapped back.

"Why does this not surprise me?" Britta commented while rolling her eyes.

"I-I accidentally gave a psychotic sociopath a loaded gun in the Prime Timeline!" he shook his head, then said with a nervous smile, "I completely fucked up. See, it’s not just you guys that's fucked, it’s all of us," he motioned around the room, "If she, I mean My Annie, discovers what My Britta and I planned, then we are all royally fucked." He sat down in his chair and slouched over. His hands covered his face.

"What did you and Evil Britta plan?" Britta asked.

"We-we-" before Evil Jeff could finish his statement, they heard steps coming down the stairs.


	7. Chekhov's Cell Phone

**The Central Air Room- The Prime Timeline**

**1:38pm**

"Maybe it’s the pizza guy?" Troy asked with a forced smile.

Evil Jeff glared at him, "It’s not the pizza guy, you moron... He's supposed to call me on my cell phone when he gets here."

"Hey, don't call him a moron, you moron!" Britta said, raising her voice at Evil Jeff.

"Says, the Queen of Morons. Fact: in Moronville they have a plaque dedicated to you," Evil Jeff said.

"They may have a plaque for me, but they have a statue of you--indicating that you are, in fact, the biggest moron, creep who has ever walked this earth!" Britta said, berating him.

"I think we all can come up with more creative names than 'moron,'" a female voice said. It echoed down the stairwell. "This is a high concept show, after all," Evil Annie, dressed in her grey dress and blue cardigan sweater emerged down the stairs. With a wide smile she looked at Evil Jeff and said, "Hey, Jeff. We found Our Britta. Just so you know, it was a fucking pain in the ass to find her. She cant seem to keep still or stay in one place very long."

Evil Abed then came down the stairwell--constraining Evil Britta, who yelled, "Jeff! Jeff! They-" Evil Abed put his hand over her mouth.

Evil Annie sighed and said, "And she can't seem to decide what side she is on."

Evil Jeff noticed Evil Abed's round, John Lennon sunglasses and said, "No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This isn't time to pay homage to a movie! No _Natural Born Killers!_ We are trying to reclaim our former lives!" Evil Jeff grasped Evil Annie’s arm and pulled her aside, whispering, “Remember what we agreed on? We aren’t going to kill anyone. The guns are all for show to get them over to the Dark Timeline!” 

Evil Annie, looked at her finger nails in a bored manner, tilted her head at him and rolled her eyes, "Jeff," she began, "Jeff--sweet, gorgeous Jeff. Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"That you're no longer in control anymore," she took a semi-automatic out of her sweater and said, "That we don't want to reclaim our former lives anymore." She took off her sweater and dropped it on the floor.

"Annie, give me the gun," he held out his hand.

"No," she said, "I'm not giving you the gun. You have your own."

"Give me the gun, now!" he said, his voice thundering and demanding.

"No! You're not my dad! You cant tell me what to do!" she snapped back at him, "I don't need you or Britta or anyone to parent me!"

"Annie, remember what I said?,” Evil Jeff’s eyes widened with panic. He took slow, calculated steps toward Evil Annie. “Remember? I'm going to take care of you because I car-"

"Didn't you hear what I just said? I don't need anyone to take care of me!" she said, pointing the gun at him, "I'm twenty-two years old! I'm not a child!"

Evil Jeff pointed his gun back at her, to which she began to laugh.

"Click. Click. I know that gun isn't loaded," she shook her head and walked over closer to him and said in a sing-song voice, fluttering the lashes of her doe eyes, "Somebody let all the blood rush to the wrong place when he gave me a gun earlier."

While pointing the gun at him, she walked up so they were inches apart and held the gun to his throat. She then stood up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "I know everything, now. I know what you were going to do to her--to me. To both of us." She stood flat back on the ground, looked up at him and then screamed, "You were going to fuck her over! Literally! You sadistic piece of shit!"

"I'm sadistic?" Evil Jeff said, pointing to himself, "You're the one who keeps saying you want to kill Our Britta and I know it’s not because you hate her. It’s really just for your own sick and twisted amusement. You love watching her freak out. Now that's sadistic, Annie."

"You really just said that to an unstable ex-mental patient with a loaded gun?" she said, giving him a death stare, "Go! Sit in that chair! Now! Troy, tie him to the chair."

“You’re making a mistake, Annie,” Evil Jeff said. 

“I know,”she said coldly,“I know exactly what I’m doing! You think I can control this?”  Her face was frozen with pursed lips of hatred and discontent. “And you better watch out...When I make mistakes, someone tends to get shot.” 

Evil Jeff listened to her and sat in the empty chair. Evil Troy walked over with reluctance and tied Evil Jeff to the chair.

"Okay, everyone," she put on a wide, toothy smile to the room, "Our Jeff will no longer be leading this operation. So if you would be ever so kind to cooperate with me, just to make things easier for everyone and so there will be a lot less clean up involved when this is over. It’s appreciated by both myself and the GCC janitorial staff."

She walked over to Evil Britta, who was being constrained by Evil Abed, "Tie her to a chair and put her next to Our Jeff and shut her up somehow. I don't want her to ruin what we have planned."

Evil Annie then walked over to her Good Counterpart, put her hand on the Prime Annie's cheek, to which Annie swatted away and said, "Don't touch me."

"I'm sorry. I should have known better. You are me, after all," Evil Annie said, smiling at her, "We're going to play a little prank on Your Jeff. I think he's really going to love it. I know how much we love to teach Jeff lessons."

* * *

 

**The Air Vents-- The Prime Timeline**

**1:38pm**

Jeff made it to the last eight crawls down the air vents. Sweat dripped from his forehead. In just eight crawls he would be in the large, eight feet by eight feet passageway that led to the central air room. He sighed out of relief--knowing he was almost there--when he heard a banging sound behind him.

He paused for a moment, caught his breath, and then heard some squeaking sounds.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Jeff said, panicking, "This is the last time I am ever listening to Britta regardless of what color her hair is!"

* * *

 

**The Central Air Room- The Prime Timeline**

**1:55pm**

Jeff, beaten and monkey bitten, emerged from the passageway leading him into the central air room. He saw Annie--dressed in a purple cardigan and jeans--standing in the middle of the Dreamatorium, but something was different. Her hair--it was straighter than he remembered it being, like before she stopped straightening it every morning. It seemed like she tried to make it curlier at the last minute. He knew this wasn't His Annie. He remained silent; not knowing how to play this.

"Jeff!" she said with an exasperated gasp, "Don't come any closer! The-they are planning something!"

Then Jeff knew what to do. He remembered a moment between him and Britta.

_Flashback- The Prime Timeline- November 28th, 2012- Britta Perry's Apartment_

_Britta laid on her bed. Her glassy eyes held a listless stare on her outdated, popcorn ceiling. Jeff walked over to her and sat next to her on the bed._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"It just all feels so empty. This existence. It’s like I'm some doll whose sole function is to entertain people. I have no choice in my destiny and I have no self-purpose."_

_"Come here," he stood up and grasped her hand; pulling her up from the bed, “Let’s listen to music or something."_

_"What? 'Roxanne,' or 'Daybreak' or 'Daylight' or maybe the instrumentals to 'Good Old Fashion Nightmare'? That seems nice or how about my personal favorite 'Britta's a B?" Britta said with sarcasm._

_"It’s actually 'Gettin' Ridda Britta'. Didn't you say we could listen to 'Time of the Season'. That's a good song. Doesn't Pierce play it at the last study meeting when his phone goes off?"_

_"Screw music," Britta replied, "Can you just lay next to me?"_

_Jeff gave her a half-hearted smile,"Yeah, I would love to do that," then pecked her on the lips._

_He laid down next to her and she grabbed his hand. They laid there in silence for hours._

Jeff smiled to himself and said, "Render environment..."

Time of the Season, began to play. The Dreamatorium surroundings changed to a bar with 1960's decor. Jeff looked at his outfit; a grey suit with a skinny tie. He looked forward at Annie who wore a colorful dress and her hair teased.

Evil Annie looked at her outfit with wide eyes. Jeff began to slowly walk over to her, "Isn't this what you want, Annie?"

Evil Annie bit her lip and looked up at Jeff, "I thought it was," she replied with a meek tone.

"Cause I know this is what I want."

"Really?"

Then Jeff Winger did what he did best. He pulled a speech out of his ass and lied, "Yeah, I've been waiting to be with you. I came all this way to rescue you. I'm sorry I never said this before, but I just realized it this morning, I-” He gulped, “I love you Annie and I can't stand the idea of losing you forever. You- you make a better person in all regards and you-you care about everything to the point where a person should just stop! But you don't. Instead you have this need to fix things and its amazing," Jeff stood inches away from her and grazed her on the cheek with his hand, "And your beautiful and smart and creative. I'm sorry about how I treated you and I'm sorry for kissing you and then never calling."

After he delivered the speech, Jeff tensed up. Something felt off. Something was different. He felt empty as he looked into the faux Annie’s eyes. 

Evil Annie's eyes teared up. This was the moment she had been waiting for, for three years, from Her Jeff. She realized that this was the closest she could get to that true moment and let herself get caught up, "I love you too, Jeff."

She gave him a small half smile as she reached up and put her hand on his cheek. Jeff leaned down and started to kiss her. Jeff pulled away and began to kiss her neck. He made his way over to her ear. She felt his hot breath on her neck exhaling, he moaned into her ear, "Whose you're daddy, Annie?"

She opened her eyes and said with disgust, "Excuse me?"

"I said," Jeff began to say, before moving his hand across her stomach and under her sweater, successfully taking the semi-automatic from her and putting it in the back of his pants, "Whose you're daddy?"

Evil Annie felt cool metal of what she knew to be the revolver from her drawer against her warm temple. Jeff grabbed both her arms and restrained them behind her back. She looked around and the scene of the Dreamatorium began to fade; bringing the scenery back to the green and white tiled room.

"You have to be fucking kidding me!" Evil Annie said, her shrieks echoed throughout the Central Air Room.

For a moment Jeff put the revolver in his back pocket and took out Pierces' phone, showing "There are ways to get around the medium," he smirked at her, turned the music off and put his phone in his pocket--exchanging it for the revolver and putting it back to her head.

Still keeping the gun to Evil Annie's head, he ordered, "Evil Troy, untie My Study Group or I will blow her head to pieces and I won't feel guilty about it one bit."

Evil Abed narrowed his eyes at Jeff, "Don't do it, Troy."

"Wh-what are you saying man? He's got Annie!" Evil Troy exclaimed.

"He won't do it," Evil Abed said.

"Oh, I'll do it!" Jeff exclaimed.

Evil Troy ignored Abed and untied Britta from the prime study group--who then went to untie the rest of the members.

"The Devil's Natural Born Rejects have failed, Evil Abed," Jeff said out of breath, "Just give up and go back into Your Timeline. I have both guns and you guys have no choice but to listen to me."

Jeff let go of Evil Annie, who turned around and began to form tears in her eyes.

"Please!" she began to sob, "Don't make me go back there! We're just going to repeat again, don't you see? There's nothing you can do to stop it! How would you like to go back and repeat the same moment of terror of watching your friend die before your eyes over and over and over?" Evil Annie screamed as tears flooded out from her eyes, "It was all my fault! I was the one who brought the gun!" she said, pointing towards herself, as her legs became weak; leading her fall and kneel to the ground. Her cries dominated the the Dreamatorium. She looked up at Jeff. Her eyes were red and tired. She said with a coarse, strained voice, "I just want it to stop. Please, make it stop...I can't go through it again. I can't pretend to be numb anymore."

Jeff walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Please," she looked up at him with sad, unsullied eyes and placed her hand over the one he had on her shoulder. She asked, "Jeff?"

He nodded back to her and said, "Yeah?"

"Never fuck with someone who has lived in the neighborhood I did." She grabbed his hand; pulling him towards herself, kneed him in the groin, making him fall over, and then began to repeatedly kick him in the stomach.

Evil Annie stood over him and looked down at him on the floor as he groaned. The revolver from her room laid next to him, unattended to. She picked it up and examined it, "Hello, old friend." She knelt down next to Jeff, taking the semi-automatic out of the back of his pants and said, "Why is it that all of you Jeff Wingers are the same? Oh and by the way, you never cocked the hammer--no bullet would have been released. Whether that was intentional or not is up to the audiences’ interpretation."

"All right, here is what's going to happen," Evil Annie said while nodding, "You guys are going to go into that cliche, white light emitting from the wall over there into the Dark Timeline. If anyone decides to object to this, they get shot. Everyone on board?"

The Prime Study Group nodded, except Britta.

Britta then said, "No! I'm not going over there and you can shoot me if you want. We're gonna reset in about an hour, anyway."

Evil Annie tilted her head at Britta and walked over to her. "Fine," Evil Annie said, "Because you're just so smart, Lame Britta, and apparently have figured out what is going on, then I won't kill you."

Britta tilted her head back at her and asked, "You wont?"

Evil Annie smoothed out Britta's jacket, then looked her in the eyes, "No, instead, I'll just blow your knees out and throw you over there myself," she said with a matter of fact tone, "Does that sound better?"

"No, not really," Britta said, then sucked her bottom lip.

"Exactly," Evil Annie said, then gritted her teeth, "so like I said before, listen to me if you don't want me to make a mess."

"You don't want to do this," Abed said.

"I _have_ to do this! Every story needs an antagonist and My Jeff just wasn’t doing a good enough job! I mean, I know this is network television, but come on! He’s such a pussy! I mean it’s like they imported him from the Disney Channel! There are more threatening villains on _Once a-Fucking-pon a Time_! It’s like--" Evil Annie said, pointing to Evil Jeff. 

“Annie,” Evil Abed interrupted, lowering his sunglasses to his nose, “I think they get it.” 

“Sorry. Got a little carried away there,” she said. Her hands smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress before she pointed to the wall of white light to address the Prime Study Group, “Now get the fuck over into that cliche white light, go to your fucking timeline because that's how the story is supposed to go. Get the fuck over there because I have business I need to attend to without you guys fucking it up on me!"

"You guys better listen to her," Evil Abed said as he stood between Evil Jeff and Evil Britta, who were tied to chairs, "She's not in a good mood right now."

Annie looked at Her Study Group--who were not moving from their spots--her eyes widened as she said, "G-guys, let's just go."

"We're not going anywhere," Shirley said, shaking her head and gripping her purse.

"Looks like you're going to have to blow my knees out, Evil Annie," Britta said while shrugging.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Evil Annie said with frustration, "I have bigger things to attend to other than your stupid rebellion you are planning here. Think! We are going to repeat and this may be my only chance to get revenge on Evil Jeff! Everyone wins!"

"What the hell is going on?" Annie asked, "Why does it seem that everyone here knows what is happening, but me?"

"Because you're the only one from our timeline that doesn't know," Abed replied.

"Know what?" Annie shook her head, shrugging.

"Evil Annie," Troy said, raising his eyebrows, "Did you not hear us? We are not leaving!"

"What is going on?" Annie began to look around at her friends, "She has a gun, guys! Are you being stupid on purpose?"

"Fuck," Evil Annie said while shaking her head, "Do you really want me to do this the hard way?" She rolled her eyes and grabbed Prime Abed by the wrist, then held his arms-- constricting him from moving. As she backed away from the Prime Study group, she took out a switchblade and held it to Abed's throat.

Britta began to check her pockets, "My Knife! Where did you get it?"

Evil Annie rolled her eyes and said, "For a person who's committed breaking and entering and has 'lived in New York,' you sure are pretty stupid when it comes to someone pickpocketing you.” 

Britta shrugged in confusion. 

“When I smoothed out your jacket? Jesus.” Evil Annie sighed, “Now, everyone get into that cliched, white light emitting from the wall or I'll cut his face up."

Britta narrowed her eyes at Evil Annie, "Go... Ahead."

"Do it," Jeff nodded to her.

"Go ahead, missy," Shirley tilted her head.

"I dare you," Troy said.

Annie's face scrunched up in disgust, "What. The. Hell. Is. Wrong with you people?"

"You know what's going to happen, Evil Annie. Why even bother making us repeat over and over?" Britta asked.

"Because that is what my character would do! Because that's what is going to piss you off the most! I'm supposed to stop you from reaching your objective!" Evil Annie screamed, "I'm the villain and that's what villains are supposed to do!"

"Wait," Abed said calmly. He looked down at the knife to his throat, then to His Annie. "Annie, it’s okay," he assured her, "Please. Just calm down and listen very closely."

"I am listening to you!" Annie yelled back as tears began flowing from her puffy eyes, "They're going to let her kill you! I can't lose you, Abed! Who-who am I going to-to--"

"Annie, please calm down..."Abed replied, "listen very closely...for the music."

Britta watched Her Abed talk to Her Annie with a calm and reassuring demeanor.

"Psst," Britta heard someone call her. She looked around, but didn't see anything.

"Psst," she heard it again and saw Evil Britta rocking her chair back and forth, "Come here!"

Britta walked over to her counterpart in the chair.

"So you want to change the script permanently? Make this nonsense stop?" Evil Britta whispered to her Prime counterpart.

"How do you mean?"

"How did My Study group get here?" Evil Britta tilted her head at Britta.

"I don't hear anything, Abed," Annie's voice cracked, "Please, let him go! We'll go over there! Please, just don't hurt him!"

"I'm going to do it!" Evil Annie threatened.

"Kill him, go ahead," Troy shrugged, then yelled, "We're just gonna repeat anyway!"

"You guys used a Dreamatorium," Britta shrugged back to her counterpart.

"Exactly and every timeline has a Dreamatorium," Evil Britta nodded back, tilting her head.

"Yeah...and?" Britta scrunched her face.

"How did the Dreamatorium come to be? In the first place?" Evil Britta asked.

"Oops, I'm starting to break the skin!" Evil Annie said, "My hand better not slip!"

"Stop, please... " Annie began to break down crying, "Please don't kill him!" she looked at the Prime Study group, who stood there, frozen, and screamed at them, "Why don't you guys care! She's gonna kill Abed! Our Abed!"

"Annie," Abed said, calm. He looked down at his neck and saw a small trickle of blood. Time was running out, "Annie, we are not real. We're characters on a TV show stuck in re-reruns. If one of us dies, the series just goes back and repeats."

"That's crazy!" Annie moaned between her tears, "It doesn't make any sense. We are real people!"

Jeff walked up to His Annie and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned around and looked up at him. He nodded back at her.

Britta paused to look over at Abed being threatened by Evil Annie, then answered her counterpart "Abed made it."

"Did he though?" Evil Britta smirked. 

"Why are you making me figure this out! Time is running out, just tell me!" Britta yelled back.

"Everything we have is fake; the walls, the grass, the palm trees covered with fake tree coverings, the hallways, the fake glass, and the oversized air vents... because someone made them as props," Evil Britta nodded at Britta while widening her eyes.

"So someone had to have made it in the real world?" Britta widened her eyes back at her counterpart.

"Exactly," Evil Britta nodded, "You have to go there and find a writer to change the ending. Find Ganz, Winston, or McKenna. They know their shit... Or better yet, find the Creator. Find the Creator. He can change the ending."

"How did you figure this out?" Britta asked her counterpart.

"It’s a theory of My Abed's. I read it in one of his letters he sent to My Annie," Evil Britta responded.

"If you know about this, then why haven't you gone yourself?" Britta asked.

"Are you kidding me? My Abed watches me like a hawk. They never leave me alone in the apartment. I'm not allowed to use the Dreamatorium. Besides, I don't have the imagination to run that thing. I had to lie to Your Chang and tell him I did. You're gonna have to have Your Abed help you," Evil Britta said.

Britta was about to turn around and tell The Prime Study group to cooperate with Evil Annie and Evil Abed.

"Wait!" Evil Britta exclaimed.

"What?" Britta hissed back to her counterpart.

Annie turned around and looked at Jeff, "Is it true?"

Jeff nodded back to her, "Please, Annie, try to hear the background music."

"You can have him change it so you end up with Jeff," Evil Britta raised her eyebrows at her counterpart.

Britta tilted her head back at her counterpart and said,"Who said I want to end up with Jeff?"

"Pffft," Evil Britta shook her head, "You love him, I can tell."

"No. I don't."

"It’s in the subtext."

"You don't even know what subtext is," Britta replied.

"Yeah, I do. I read," Evil Britta defended herself.

"No, you don't. I bet you pretend to and then watch the movie."

"Fine, you caught me," Evil Britta rolled her eyes. “Like anyone would actually read a Chuck Palahniuk book when there’s a movie.” 

Britta looked over at Her Annie, who was crying.

"I-I still can't hear anything!" Annie said, hugging Jeff, "This-this has to be a dream or a hallucination. This is a hallucination. I know it. I know it. None of this can be happening. Did I overdose again? Please, don't tell me I took the pills I had hidden in my stuffed bear because I was stressed about seeing my mother this morning."

"You have pills hidden in your bear?" Jeff asked her, worried as he temporarily forgot what was happening around him.

"I'm going to count to three!" Evil Annie said, "there will be no four."

"Why do you guys keep quoting _Die Hard_?" Troy asked, "I mean Hans Gruber is a badass villain, but there are like a lot of better ones."

"Anton Chigurh," Abed suggested, looking at the knife to his throat.

"Jason Voorhees' Mom," Jeff said as he consoled Annie and rubbed her back.

"Mr. Blonde," Evil Abed said to which Evil Troy nodded back at him and Evil Annie rolled her eyes.

"Abed?" Evil Annie said, "Come on. We are supposed to be scaring the crap out of them, not referencing movie villains."

"Sorry," Evil Abed said, then shrugged.

"The Nurse from that movie where Danny DeVito is a crazy dude," Britta said, walking towards Evil Annie, “We'll go, just don't hurt Abed."

The Prime Study Group looked at her with disbelief.

"Excuse me?" Shirley said, narrowing her eyes.

"Guys, we are going to repeat anyway and I don't want her to hurt Abed in the process," Britta said.

Jeff looked at her, "All right," he nodded, "Let's go."

"Awesome," Evil Annie said with a smile as she let go of Abed, "I'm glad we could negotiate to make this easier for all of us."

Jeff took Annie's hand and led her through the wall of the Dreamatorium. Shirley followed them. Troy and Abed looked at each other and nodded before doing their hand shake. Just as they were about to cross over together, Britta grabbed Abed by the shoulder; causing Troy to go through alone.

"Abed, wait," she whispered. "I know how to change the script. I need your help."

"How? I would have thought about it by now."

"Abed, there are seven timelines, but there are eight Dreamatoriums."

"What are you two waiting for?" Evil Annie said, her voice roaring. She began to pace back and forth; looking at the ground.

Abed tilted his head at Britta with wide eyes, "The prop...The cardboard one I make at the end of season three... That means..."

"We can get to the Real World with it. I just need your help. I don't have a big enough imagination to get myself there alone. Can you do it alone, without Troy?" Britta asked.

He nodded back to her.

"You guys are wasting my time!" Evil Annie yelled again, then looked at her watch, "Now I only have, like, an hour and a half to deal with MY Jeff!"

"Awesome," Britta smiled back at Abed, "We need to find the Creator and have him change the ending, so we have a future."

"Britta," Abed whispered to her, "You want us to somehow get to the real world using the Dreamatorium and ask the Creator of the series to give us a deus-ex-machina? ...Actually, I think we are experiencing one right now."

"Dowes ex machine? Abed, you know I don't speak Polish," Britta whispered back to him.

"It’s Latin and it means, 'god from the machine,' meaning something unpredictable has to happen for our situation to improve. An literal act from God."

"Abed, this is our only chance. Do you want to repeat the series again? Or worse, what if they take us off syndication?"

"I'm taking my gun out again!" Evil Annie yelled again, "I will shoot you in the fucking knees, Lame Britta. Don't test me!"

Abed thought for a moment, "He won't do it."

"How do you know it’s a he?" Britta narrowed her eyes at him.

"Because I've read the credits and our protagonist is a man."

"Whatever, Abed. In the end, he may not do it, but we can't just give up now. We have to try."

"Hold, on. Let me rethink this for a moment," Abed said, then muttered to himself, "... katabasis..."

"Abed, I don't speak Polish!" Britta said with an agitated whisper.

"Really?" Evil Annie said in disbelief, "You really haven't gone through yet?"

Abed heard the sound of Evil Annie cocking the revolver, "Fine," he nodded, "I can get you there, but it may take me a couple of tries, just a warning."

"I'm willing to risk it. You ready?"

"Yup, let's go." He took her hand and said, "Render environment..."


	8. Glimpses Through Different Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added chapters 7 and 8 at the same time, so make sure you read 7 before 8 or you'll have no idea what's going on. 
> 
> I took some jokes out and tried to make the characters connect better in this version. If I did not do your 'ship justice in this chapter, I apologize. 
> 
> In the original version on FF.net, chapters 7 and 8 are the same chapter--for anyone that may care to know.

* * *

 

> "If two people have been hurt enough, they trick themselves into falling in love through a different door."-- Dan Harmon.

* * *

**Timeline #1 (Annie Got The Pizza)**

"Abed, I don't think this is right..." Britta commented as she observed her surroundings. They were in the original Dreamatorium, the one that was--in their Timeline--Troy's room, "This should be Troy's room."

"True," Abed replied, "we may have ended up in one of the other timelines."

"You mean one of the other five?" Britta asked with wide eyes.

"Technically its six," Abed corrected her, "There is one that leads to the Real World. The one they use as a prop on the show. We have to find that one, therefore we should check this timeline out, just to be safe."

"Fine," Britta sighed. She walked over to the door with caution and opened it. It creaked as she peeked through the open door and observed Apartment 303.

Annie suddenly came out of her room. She saw Britta peeking through the Dreamatorium door and gave her a beaming smile.

"Britta! You're early!" she exclaimed; raising her eyebrows, “What are you doing in the Dreamatorium?"

Britta opened her mouth slightly and attempted to find words to say, "Ummm..."

Annie walked over, opened the door to the Dreamatorium and saw Abed standing behind Britta. She put her hands on her hips, "Abed, are you tricking her into re-enacting something with you?"

"Yep, you caught me," Abed covered.

"Britta, come help me get ready," She grabbed Britta's hand and began to drag her into her room. Britta looked back at Abed with wide eyes and pursed lips. She mouthed to him while shaking her head, "This is not right!"

Abed shrugged and mouthed back, “Just go with it--or Cactus Flower it.” 

“What?” Britta mouthed back. Before she knew it, she had been lead into Annie’s room. 

The Annie shut the door, leaned her back against the door, and bit her lip while staring at Britta. She turned on her I-home; turning the music up loud.

 “I downloaded that Belle and Sebastian song you told me about,” Annie said, raising her eyebrows. 

 “Um,” Britta crinkled her forehead, “Cool?” 

 "I am so glad you came early," Annie said while she walked closer to Britta. She stopped so their faces were inches away and began to lean in to kiss Britta-- who started to say, "Wai-" before she felt Annie's lips on her own. Annie pulled away and pushed Britta onto the bed.

Annie got on top of Britta and straddled her.  “I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw you at the study meeting this morning. You looked so gorgeous with your hair half up.” She removed her cardigan, grazed Britta’s cheek with her hand and said, breathless, “Your skin is so soft--” 

“Annie--” Britta gulped with wide eyes, “I think that--” 

 Before she could finish her sentence, Annie began to kiss her again. Britta felt Annie unzip her jeans, to which she pushed Annie away, breathed in and put her hand up in defiance.

Annie got up from her bed and stood in front of Britta; looking at her with sad, doe eyes, which began to fill with tears, "Is something wrong? I mean, you were fine with this just the other night. You told me we were finally going to tell the group after over a year."

"Over a year?" Britta asked. Her eyes were gaping and her mouth hung open in disbelief.

Annie sat back down next to Britta and grasped her hand, "Yeah," her voice took on a lighter, giddier tone, "You guys found out that I had a gun in my bag to defend myself. Then when we were leaving Troy and Abed's I had to take the bus home because my car broke down again and you saw me, so you offered to drive me home. You didn't want me walking from the bus stop at night. You were so worried. You look so beautiful when you're worried. I love how your nose scrunches up in that adorable way. No one had ever been that worried about me before," Annie smiled up at her, "Then we-"

"Yeah, I remember," Britta lied; surprised at what Annie just said. For a moment she contemplated what the hell had to exactly happen in this Timeline for this entire moment to take place. She sucked on her bottom lip and tasted bubblegum lip gloss which made the entire situation even more surreal, "I have to go to the bathroom. Sorry, I'll be right back." She jumped up from Annie's bed and went into the living room. She closed the bedroom door behind her and ran to Dreamatorium. The door opened and she was welcomed by Abed who looked her up and down.

"Abed!" she angrily exclaimed with a whisper in the doorway between the living room and the Dreamatorium, "This is most definitely not the 'real world.' We ended up in one of the other Timelines. Let's leave now!"

"Why is your hair disheveled looking and your pants unbuttoned?"

She looked down at her unzipped pants. "Because in this universe I am apparently in a lesbian relationship with Annie--who just practically jumped me in her room," Britta said as she zipped up her pants.

"That's hot." Abed deadpanned, then raised his eyebrows, "How was it?"

"Soft. Bubble-gummy" Britta said, then shook her head, "Stop being a perve and get me the hell out-"

Britta was interrupted by the creaking of the front door to the apartment opening. She pushed Abed into the Dreamatorium, followed him in, and left a slight crack; allowing her to see what was happening in the living room.

"Britta, what the hell are you 'announcing' tonight? Because I have somewhere I need to be at nine thirty," Britta heard Jeff say as she tried to look through the sliver in the door and saw a version of herself and Jeff standing in the living room.

She saw the version of herself smirk back at him "Don't worry I won't suck up any of your precious time with that poor girl you are banging. Although, I should to prevent her from dealing with your douchebaggery."

"No, I'm serious. I think this may be something more," Jeff attempted to defend himself.

"What name do you have her under in your contacts?" Britta saw herself cross her arms and raise her eyebrows at the Jeff Winger.

"Melissa," Jeff responded.

"Melissa what?" Britta asked

"Just Melissa..." Jeff trailed off.

"And I take it, it’s because you don't know her last name and not because you care for her more than the other Melissas in your phone?"

Jeff smiled back at her and laughed, "You caught me. How is it that you can always tell what my agenda is?"

Britta saw herself look up at Jeff, adjust his tie, and then give him a coy smile, "It’s a secret."

He smiled back at her and started to tilt his head down towards hers while saying, "Is there a way I can convince you to tell me this secret?"

Then Annie's bedroom door opened. Britta saw herself immediately turn away from Jeff and smile at Annie before giving her a long hug; her hands rubbing Annie's back with an intimate touch.

“Change your outfit in the bathroom?” Annie asked the Britta. 

“What?” the Britta asked, still embracing the Annie. 

"You two sure hug a lot and for a very long time, too, I may add," Jeff said with suspicion.

Britta heard the version of herself let out a nervous laugh and then heard Annie say, "We've just grown really close this past year." Then Britta heard the front door open again and then the Annie say, "Abed, I thought you were in the Dreamatorium."

"Nope," he replied, "Troy and I were out getting tickets to _The Hobbit_ for after dinner. Although, I’m not sure if it was worth it because I hear it’s going to be a disappointment."

"Yeah, he's been with me this entire time," Troy added.

"That's strange because-" Annie began to say.

"Look at the time!" the other Britta exclaimed, "We are late for meeting Shirley and Pierce at the restaurant. We better get going."

Britta heard the front door to the apartment close shut. She shut the Dreamatorium door completely and turned to Abed, "Let's leave now, please."

"Okay," Abed nodded. Then the wall turned white, "Ladies first," he motioned for Britta to go first.

* * *

 

  **Timeline #3 (Pierce Got the Pizza)**

They emerged from a small cardboard Dreamatorium in an elegant, modern looking house. Britta walked out of the cardboard contraption and looked out the window.

"Yes! Palm trees, bitches!" Britta exclaimed with her fists up in the air, "We are in California!"

"Something isn't right," Abed said while tilting his head.

"But Abed, palm trees, the nice house! We are in California! I mean, is that an Emmy award on that shelf?"

"It’s an Independent Spirit Award," Abed corrected, then walked over to the shelf to read the inscription. He shook his head and looked at Britta who was excitedly looking out the window while doing a goofy victory dance. "It’s the wrong Timeline."

"What do you mean it’s the wrong one?" Britta stopped dancing and asked, "How can it be? We are in California?"

"Because this is _my_ Independent Spirit Award."

"F-for what?" Britt asked while walking over to him.

"Best First Screenplay," Abed responded.

Suddenly, the door to the room opened, an Abed stood in the doorway, staring at them. He commented, "For some reason, I was expecting this."

Abed looked at himself in the doorway, both of them leaning their heads closer to one another, to get a better look. They both put their hands on their chin, turned around, then turned back, bending over, shaking their butts.

"Abed!" Britta interrupted, her voice strained, indicating her frustration, "what the hell is going on?"

" _Duck Soup_. I've always wanted to do that," both the Abeds said, looking at Britta.

"What timeline are you from?" The Abed standing in the doorway asked.

"The one where Jeff catches the dice," Abed replied.

"Lucky," The Abed in the doorway responded, "Well, if you guys succeed in what I think you are trying to do, then you will be lucky."

"I'd say you are the lucky one, with this Independent Spirit Award," Britta commented.

"I guess so, but things just aren't...right here."

“What timeline is this?" Abed asked his counterpart in the doorway.

"Pierce got the pizza," his counterpart responded.

"Oh, now I understand," Abed nodded.

"Why?" Britta asked, "What happens in this Timeline?"

The Abed in the doorway said, "Come, I have some pictures to show you."

Britta and Abed followed the other Abed down a hallway and into a stylish living room. He presented them with pictures on a table.

"Is that me and Troy with a-a, um," Britta gulped and said with an almost whisper, "a kid."

"Yep," the other Abed responded.

Britta picked up another picture and began to erupt into uncontrollable laughter, "Jeff and Annie wearing matching sweaters?"

"They're married," the other Abed nodded, "Annie is expecting her first child this February."

"But she should be in school still," Britta replied.

"She's taking a break. Jeff graduates tomorrow and is going to work at his old law firm again."

"But she only has one semester left!" Britta exclaimed.

"I know, but she said she is going to take a break."

"What about Shirley?" Britta asked.

"She's no doing well. She never got remarried to Andre and she hasn't been doing well financially."

"She should be running that sandwich shop," Britta said.

Abed interjected, "It makes sense, you were with Troy. You never had that tryst with Subway. Jeff was with Annie and you and him didn't almost get married, so Shirley and Andre never made up," he turned to his counterpart, "There wasn't a riot, was there? Starburns never died because Annie wasn't at the sleep lab that night to discover the sabotaged yam."

"No," the other Abed shook his head, "She was at Jeff's that night. She stayed with him for a couple days while the apartment was fumigated--hence the pregnancy."

"What is Troy doing?" Britta asked.

"He's a plumber," the other Abed said.

"Because he never left to go to the air conditioning school?" Abed asked his counter part, who nodded.

"And Pierce?" Britta asked.

"He moved to Belize," the other Abed said.

"We need to go," Abed replied, "I hope everything works out for you."

"Likewise," the other Abed nodded.

Britta followed Abed down the hallway, back into the room where the cardboard Dreamatorium stood. He looked at her.

"You're confused, aren't you?"

She sucked on her bottom lip and nodded, "Yeah... it’s just, like so weird. You know, seeing what could have been."

"Do you wish you stayed with Troy?"

At first she didn't answer, but sighed, then said, "No."

Abed grabbed her by the hand and said, "Let's go. It’s our only chance to save our friends."

* * *

 

**Timeline #4 (Britta Got the Pizza).**

For the second time, Abed and Britta appeared in the original Dreamatorium. Britta walked over to the door and cracked it open. She looked through the crack, while Abed stood over her, also looking through it.

A Jeff and another Britta sat at the kitchen table covered with folders and papers.

"Thanks for helping me," they heard the Britta at the table say, as they peered through the crack, "These divorce papers are hard to decipher and I can't afford a lawyer. I mean, hell, I'm lucky that Troy and Abed are letting me stay here, especially with all the stuff they have going on and you know Shirley is really busy, like, all the time, with her brownie company."

"It’s not a big deal. Anything for a friend," Jeff smiled back at her.

They saw Britta smile back at him. Jeff turned his gaze back to the paperwork, while Britta still looked at him. They saw the Britta at the table begin to tear up.

"Are you okay?" Jeff asked her, while grasping her arm with his hand.

"Yeah, yeah I'm gonna be-be... great," Britta struggled to say while repressing her tears.

"You can do this. You're a strong person," Jeff said, he looked at her with worried eyes, his forehead wrinkling.

"I'm a fucking stupid person," Britta replied, her eyes turned red, then she broke down crying.

"Come here," Jeff hugged her.

Abed and Britta, in the Dreamatorium, saw Annie, dressed in business-casual wear come through the front door of the Trobed apartment, "Heyyy," she said with an awkward tone, "Sorry, to interrupt."

They saw Britta let go of Jeff from her embrace.

"It’s fine," Britta replied while sniffing her nose and composing herself.

"Hey, baby, how was your internship?" Jeff asked Annie.

Annie bit her lip, "Fine, fine, fine," she put on a cheery demeanor, "You know it’s pretty easy. I'm an organized person, so this should be the perfect job for me right? Hospital administration should be my calling, right? I should love doing paper work." She let out a nervous, uneasy laugh, then became serious, crinkling her forehead, "Right?"

Abed and Britta then saw Troy and Abed come through the front door.

Troy enacted a wide smile and said, clenching his fists in excitement, "Guess what everyone?"

"Can't you see we're-" Jeff began to say, but Annie shot him a disapproving look--pursing her lips.

"Troy and I are going to get married as Reggie and the Inspector," Abed announced.

Troy tilted his head back at him, "Yup, and guess what else?"

"You'll be sending me any other wedding announcements via e-mail, so I can ignore them and not be forced to listen to this?" Jeff asked with discontent.

Annie glared at Jeff and said, "Jeff! Really? I'm sure they don't like it when I talk about our wedding plans! Emphasis on the ‘I’!"

Britta, peering through the Dreamatorium's door, noticed the light reflecting off a diamond ring on Annie's finger and noticed the Britta at the kitchen table was stoic and stared at the papers on the table as if she removed herself from reality.

"And you know who doesn't ever want to hear any of this?" Jeff said. His voice rose above everyone else's, "Poor Britta, here, who is currently discussing her divorce proceeding with me!"

Everyone remained silent.

"Yeah?" Jeff said, his voice still filled with anger, "You guys get that now? How selfish this is? How this isn't something to treat lightly? This isn’t a joke! It’s your life!" He got up and left the apartment, slamming the door.

Annie's face dropped as she looked at the recently slammed front door and then at Britta-- sitting at the table--who got up and went into the bathroom.

Britta--in the Dreamatorium--grabbed Abed's arm and said, "Abed, let's go. We're wasting our time watching this."

* * *

 

**Timeline #6 (Abed Got the Pizza)**

Abed and Britta ended up in a cardboard Dreamatorium, in a blanket fort, which appeared to be Abed's room. Britta opened the blankets slightly, popping her face through, to observe what was happening in Apartment 303.

The apartment appeared to be dark, except the light from the television and a small stove light on in the kitchen. She saw a version herself and Jeff sitting at the kitchen table with an open bottle of whiskey and a plate of brownies. Britta, in the blanket fort, looked to her right, to see Annie and Abed asleep together on the futon. Troy was nowhere in sight.

"Shirley makes the bestest brownies-- well, the bestest brownies sans a crucial ingredient, if you know what I mean," the Britta, at the table, said while laughing and trying to speak in a whisper, "Don't tell her I said that, though. She won't let me eat any of her baked goods anymore."

"As long as you don't tell anyone that I e-mail Pierce. I'm so pissed I let that slip to you, especially after that argument he had with Troy... I can't believe Annie sided with you, Troy and Shirley."

"Well, it doesn't really matter now, with Troy at the Air-conditioning Annex and all..." Britta said, her voice was faint.

"I miss Troy too," Jeff said, "but despite that, you can't tell Mr. and Mrs. Goofball over there," Jeff motioned his head over to the living room area, "No matter what 'character,' they are when playing pretend."

"Deal," she nodded, "but I don't think they play pretend as innocently as you just made it out to be."

"Okay, please, let's change the subject," Jeff took a swig of his drink and attempted a whisper, "Worst pick-up line a guy has used on you."

Britta took a sip of her drink, leaned in closer to Jeff while touching his arm and smiled. She lowered her voice, mimicking a man's and put on a serious demeanor, "Hey baby, would you like to go _back_ to the future with me?"

Jeff and Britta both began to laugh.

"Shhh," Britta put her index finger to her lips, "You'll wake the kids. They'll eat all the brownies on me."

"They aren't kids anymore," Jeff replied, looking over at the living room area.

"My turn, my turn," Britta announced and added while frowning, "Okay... why don't you really talk to Annie anymore? It’s like you guys are civil to one another, but won't look each other in the eyes."

"That surely isn't a heavy question in the least," Jeff responded with sarcasm.

"Come on, like, what happened at that housewarming party?" Britta pushed.

"We made-out," Jeff nodded and finished the remaining liquid in his glass.

"So, you've made-out before and-" Britta began to say.

"And she said that I reminded her of her father..."

"Oh," Britta responded, biting her lip.

"Let's not talk about it," Jeff replied.

"I understand," Britta nodded, "Fine, worst pick-up line that you've ever used? Besides, 'Oh, hey, Spanish?'"

Jeff gave her a weak smile for her effort to change the subject. Then smirked while raising his eyebrows, "Would you care to leave Las Vegas with me?"

"When and who the hell did you use that one on? Because it doesn't make any sense."

"You, just now."

"I don't get it... Why?"

"Because Elisabeth Shue is in that movie."

"I've never heard of it," Britta shrugged.

"You've never heard of it?"

"Nope," she declared.

"It may be the only good Nicolas Cage movie."

"What about that one with Meryl Streep and that toothless guy?"

"Okay, that one too... but really...would you?"

Britta began to giggle, "You can't be serious?"

"But I am."

"You're drunk, Winger. Drunk enough to say something positive about Nicolas Cage."

"As are you."

"Point taken..." she said and smirked back at him to say, "I'll call a cab."

In the blanket fort, Britta, saw the version of herself dialing a cell phone. Then, the drunken Britta and Jeff left Apartment 303. 

Britta, in the fort, pushed the blankets together, closing the door. She sighed, then said to Abed with a slight laugh, “Maybe we should stay here? Like you said, we’ll always have other timelines.”

Abed gently moved her aside and left the blanket fort. He walked over to where his counterpart and Annie were sleeping on the couch. The light from the television illuminated the Annie’s face in the darkness.  The Prime Abed kneeled down in front of the couch, next to her.  Behind him, he heard the Inspector’s and Geneva’s voices emit from the surround sound speakers. It was the episode where they almost died on planet 3876 C. 

_“Inspector,” Geneva said, “I have to tell you-before, you know--I...I love you.”_

_“Geneva,” the Inspector said, “I cannot love you. My heart--it does not...exist.”_

_“Is that right?” Geneva asked._

_“Yes. We’ve been over this bef--”_

_“Because if you never told me, I wouldn’t have known otherwise,” Geneva said._

Britta grasped Abed’s shoulder with her hand. 

“As much as I would like for some of the events of this timeline to have taken place,” Abed whispered, “It’s still not right... It just proves how there’s a balance to things.” 

“How you can’t be with Annie while Troy’s around?” 

Abed nodded. He stood up. "Come on, we have to go. We have to save Annie."

They walked over to the blanket fort and opened the door to the cardboard Dreamatorium. Abed grasped Britta's hand and went into the white light.

* * *

 

**Timeline # 5 (Shirley got the Pizza)**

"This better be it, Abed," Britta said as they exited a cardboard Dreamatorium into a blanket fort.

"I hope it is," Abed replied with a faint voice.

"I sure hope it is too," Britta replied with annoyance as she carelessly opened the curtains to the blanket fort while she was looking at Abed, "Because I for one am-"

Abed's eyes widened. He began to point behind her. Britta turned around and saw Annie sitting on the kitchen counter--kissing Jeff as he stood in front of her. Britta immediately shut the curtains to the blanket fort and mouthed, "Oh shit! They didn't hear us did they?" She cringed.

Abed put one finger up in the air; motioning for Britta to be quiet and wait.

Then they heard Annie and Jeff talking in the kitchen area.

"When are we going to tell them?" they heard Annie ask.

"When I graduate," Jeff replied, breathless, "Actually, I can't wait that long. Tomorrow. We tell them tomorrow."

There was a pause. Then they heard Annie say, "Shirley won't be happy."

"None of them will, but screw it," Jeff said, then added with a laugh, "I want to be able to make 'googly-eyes' at you without them thinking I'm leading you on."

Annie laughed back at him.

"Let's go into your room, before Troy and Abed come back," Jeff said, "Just make sure that teddy bear isn't staring at me. I hate that thing. I mean, you get rid of practically all your stuffed animals, but you keep that?"

"I can't get rid of him," Annie said, "He's too important. He makes me feel safe."

"But you have me to do that."

"You do that, too," Annie replied.

"Abed," Britta whispered, "let's go."

Abed nodded back at her and opened the door to the Dreamatorium.

* * *

 

**Timeline ?**

Abed and Britta found themselves squished against each other in darkness.

"Abed, I can't move. Where the hell are we?"

Abed felt the walls of the confined space they were in.

"It’s cardboard. We are in a cardboard Dreamatorium."

"Okay, I get that, but why the hell can we not open it!"

"Something is against the door."

Britta kicked the door to the Dreamatorium, but it didn't open.

"Get on my shoulders," Abed said.

“What?"

"I'm going to lift you up, so you can pop the top off, look over and see where we are."

"If you drop me--"

"I won't, come on."

Britta got up on Abed's shoulders and tried to make out where they were in the darkness. She looked down and saw the study room table blocking the door.

"We're in a storage room," Britta declared.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Do you know what this means?"

"No."

"We’ve made it."


	9. Relax, Abed and Britta Go to Hollywood

**The Dark Timeline**

**Jeff Winger's Apartment**

**2:15pm**

Jeff and Annie came through the Dreamatorium and found themselves in a bizarre version of Jeff's old apartment.

Annie looked around the room. Her gaze focused on the lone window next to the mahogany bunk beds. “It’s snowing,” she whispered.  She walked over to the window and noticed an ashtray filled with smashed cigarette butts--someone had been anxiously chain smoking earlier that day. She opened the window. The icy breeze swept through the room. She shivered. It was like knives. In their Timeline--despite living in Colorado--it was almost, always sunny. It was like her grey coat existed only for show--only as an illusion that the temperature dropped below sixty degrees. She held a vacant, fixed stare out the window when suddenly she realized that she was holding something in her hand--purple, silk curtains. She felt Jeff’s warm hands grasp her shoulders. “I need to go call someone,” she said with a soft voice of indifference. She walked away from Jeff and over to the kitchen area. 

"Annie, you didn't take any pills!" Jeff said.

She turned around as she walked over to the phone, "Then why am I hallucinating?" Then turned back and picked up the phone.

Shirley appeared through the Dreamatorium, walked over to the couch and sat down.

She shook her head, "We were so close. You almost had her, Jeff."

Troy appeared through the Dreamatorium. He stopped and looked around, "Abed?" He turned around and waited for Abed to appear.

Jeff's eyes widened, "Where is Abed?"

"We were supposed to go together," Troy said as the light emitting from the Dreamatorium faded.

"Hello? Linda? It’s Annie. I'm hallucinating and I think I took-" Annie said into the phone.

" _Annie, I told you to call your psychiatrist if you had any problems. It was all real, Annie. Your friend did die. It wasn't a hallucination. You aren't on any drugs. That man who takes care of you makes sure of it."_

"My psychiatrist?" Annie said into the phone, "The man who takes care of me?"

_"Annie, sweetie, we had this talk. Call your psychiatrist or have your friend call him, okay? Or I'm going to have to call the police and have them check up on you. I don't want to do that. I'm just trying to hep you and-"_

Annie hung up the phone. She began to dial again.

Jeff looked at the cardboard Dreamatorium, "Where the hell is Abed and Britta?"

"Oh, no!" Shirley said with a high pitched squeal, "Evil Annie didn't get them, did she?"

"If she did, she didn't kill them," Jeff said and looked down at himself, "We're still here. We didn't get sent back to the ‘Pilot.’” 

"Mommy?" Annie said into the phone with a whimper, "I-I need help. I'm sorry for bothering you, but I don't know who else to-"

 _"Annie! Thank God, honey-"_ Annie heard her mother begin to cry over the phone, " _I've been trying so hard. I heard he took you out. He wouldn't let me see you. He's not going to take care of you, honey. I'm going to get you away from him. My lawyer is trying so hard, but I'm not having any success. That man has so many legal connections."_

"What do you mean?"

_"Honey, you have to pass that mental competency test. You have to prove that you can make your own decisions and you aren't going to hurt yourself. Then, then he won't be your legal guardian anymore."_

"My legal guardian?" Annie's eyes widened. She dropped the phone on the floor and began to walk slowly towards Jeff, Shirley and Troy.

"What did Britta do?" Jeff said, while ruffling his hands through his hair. He began to pace back and forth.

"How do you know it wasn't Abed?" Shirley said.

"Because Abed isn't that stupid!" Jeff said throwing his arms up in the air, "He knows we have to convince Annie that we are fictional characters before the time runs out and we reset. He knows if we don't convince her by then we will have to stop Evil Jeff from doing- well you know, again!" Jeff kicked the dreamatorium and then sat on the ottoman.

Annie walked past her friends and stared at the Dreamatorium, tilting her head.

"Am I in the Dreamatorium? Did Abed set this up?"

"Annie!" Jeff said with his forehead crinkling as got up form the ottoman and grasped both of her shoulders. "We are fictional characters. Everything is fake here! See?" Jeff punched the wall to his apartment and made a hole, "Its sheet rock!" He said with a maddening smile.

Annie ignored Jeff and continued to stare at the Dreamatorium. She nodded to herself and said, "This is a simulation."

"No! It isn't, Annie!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Please, Annie!" Troy pleaded to her.

"Cease environment..." Annie said, causing the Dreamatorium to light up.

Troy's eyes bugged out.

"Cease environment!" Annie said louder, the Dreamatorium lit up again.

"It’s not broken!" Troy exclaimed, "It’s supposed to break when we get over here! But it’s working!"

Annie's eyes began to form tears, "Cease environment!" she said with a cracked voice, "Why won't it stop? Why won't it go back to normal?" The Dreamatorium lit up again. "Cease Environment! ... Cease Environment!"

"Annie, come here," Jeff took her hand and led her to the couch.

"Why won't it stop?" she asked.

Troy walked up to the Dreamatorium and put his hand on his chin--staring at it in deep thought.

Sitting on the couch, Jeff took Annie in an embrace, whispering in her ear, "Annie, it’s happening--right now. We are fictional television characters."

"It doesn't make any sense," she shook her head, but then asked, with an empty stare, "Or does it?"

"Remember last Halloween when we took those competency tests?" Jeff asked her.

"Mmhmm." She nodded. 

"And how four of them were sane?"

"Yeah."

"You, me and Pierce failed the tests because we didn't know."

"Really?"

He nodded back to her.

She laid her head on his chest and stared at the carpet. Annie took a deep breath in and said, "... It actually makes sense," she let out a small laugh, "I mean what kind of school has a monkey that lives in the air vents or shuts down for over a week to film a commercial?"

Jeff held Annie tighter and asked, "You really believe now?"

"Yeah, I do," she nodded to him with small, closed lip smile.

"Thank, God," Jeff replied, kissing her on top of her head.

“You really shouldn’t be thanking Him.” Troy said. 

Jeff looked over at Troy who was still staring at the door to the Dreamatorium in deep thought.

"Troy, what are you doing?" Shirley asked.

"I think Abed and Britta got lost...Also, something is happening in the Prime Timeline--right now as we speak--that was different from last time."

"Lost?" Jeff crinkled his forehead, "And I don't remember last time--well because, no one convinced me--but how do you mean?"

"Well, I think Abed and Britta went through, but they didn't end up here..."

“Where did they go?" Shirley asked.

"I don't know," Troy said, shaking his head, "Maybe they found a better timeline?"

"So, what is happening in the Prime Timeline?" Jeff asked.

"Well, usually Evil Jeff sends us over here and then they break it, so we can't get back...but this time Evil Annie is running the show and it didn't break. She must have been in such a rush to get revenge on Evil Jeff that she forgot to break it," Troy said, "I'm just, like, guessing though. I’m not Abed. Abed would know for real."

"How would, Annie, of all people, forget to do something that important?" Jeff asked.

Troy laughed and said, "Evil Annie has gone off the rails, Jeff. She is not thinking logically," Troy then looked at Annie who was sucking her bottom lip, "Sorry, Annie."

"It’s okay," she said. Her voice was faint.

"So, what do we do?" Jeff asked.

"I don't know," Troy said, "Let me think."

"Oh, this will be good," Shirley mumbled with sarcasm.

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**

**The Central Air Room**

**2:15pm**

"Well, well, well," Evil Annie shook her head as she walked over to Evil Jeff and Evil Britta, "Jeff and Britta putting themselves before the group. Surprise, surprise." She put on a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses and walked over to Evil Abed who handed her a cigarette. Evil Annie took a long drag, then began to have a coughing fit.

"Annie, do you want me to take over?" Evil Abed asked as Evil Annie coughed her head off.

"No," Evil Annie coughed again, putting her index finger up in the air, "I- I...I-I... want... to ... do... this."

Evil Britta began to laugh. Evil Jeff looked over at her with a concerned, incredulous expression.

"Sh-shut the fuc-fuck up, Britta!" Evil Annie yelled through her coughs, then walked over to Evil Jeff--sitting in the chair-- and stood between his legs. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned in so her face was inches away from his. She pushed her sunglasses to her nose and said with a lower tone, "I'm sure you've fantasized about me sitting on your lap before."

Evil Jeff closed his eyes and remained silent.

"Do you know what I should do to you?" she asked.

He shook his head.

Evil Annie pointed her gun towards his crotch area and said with a matter of fact whisper in his ear, "I should blow your balls off."

Evil Jeff cringed.

"I think it would upset Britta too much though," she tilted her head at him then looked over at Evil Britta with a smirk, "Wouldn't it?"

Evil Britta just looked at her with wide eyes.

Evil Annie took on a harsher tone and asked with gritted teeth, "Wouldn't it?"

"Y-yeah," Evil Britta murmured.

Evil Annie nodded with a smile, "I thought so." She sat on Evil Jeff's lap and looked in his eyes--her gun still pointed at his crotch, "Was it worth it, Jeff?"

He closed his eyes and replied, "Annie, you need help. I should have never taken you out of the hospital."

"It shouldn't have been your job to decide whether or not I stayed in the hospital!" Evil Annie took her lit cigarette and put it out on his real hand, to which Evil Jeff winced. As she looked at his hand, she said, "I didn't give you permission to do what you did. I didn't give you permission to legally make all my decisions for me. I just wanted someone who could pull the damn plug if I ended up brain-dead!" She took the cigarette off Evil Jeff's arm.

"Annie! Stop this!" Evil Jeff yelled at her, "How is burning my hand going to accomplish anything?"

"Be happy it wasn't your face."

Evil Annie got up off of Evil Jeff's lap and went over to Evil Britta's chair. As she walked behind Britta, she almost tripped over the leg of the chair, but composed herself. 

She stood behind Evil Britta and leaned down next to her. She rose her run up to the air and shot four shots up into the air. 

Evil Britta shuddered after the release of each one. She winced as her skin crawled. Any minute she expected Evil Annie to send the bullet into her skull--killing her--and sending her back to her creation. At any moment she could be sitting at a card table and singing off-key to Roxanne. If her Prime counterpart wasn’t trying to fix the Timelines, she wouldn’t have cared. Those ten seconds of normalcy-- sitting at the table with Jeff having two arms, Shirley being sober, Troy’s low laugh, and Annie being sane and happy-- were the best ten seconds of her life. Sometimes it was worth living a Season of hell for those ten seconds. 

Evil Annie pushed Evil Britta's silky, blonde strands of hair back with her gun. She whispered into Evil Britta's ear, "Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang, goes the farmer's gun. Run rabbit. Run, rabbit. Run. Run. Run. Are you sick of running away from everything, Britta? Are you sick of leaving your friends behind for your own selfish reasons?"

"Annie, stop quoting poems and nursery rhymes. It doesn't make you any more intimidating. Taking your sweater off doesn't either. Besides, you were the ones being selfish," Evil Britta said, "This is not our timeline to take!"

“This isn’t our timeline to take,” Evil Annie mocked as she rolled her eyes. She walked around to the front of Evil Britta's chair, so she was facing her, "You think you're so moral and above us, but really, you're not." Evil Annie then knelt down --between Evil Britta's legs--taking the switchblade out of Evil Britta's shoe. She stood up and leaned towards Evil Britta's face to say, "Now you're helpless," then tapped the side of Evil Britta's cheek with her palm and kissed her on the forehead.

She walked over back to Evil Jeff and sat back on his lap, pointing the gun at his crotch area. She smiled at him and said, "Don't worry," and tapped him on the side of the cheek, "I'm not going to blow your balls off."

Evil Jeff sighed out of relief.

"I have a better idea," she said while giving him a confident nod, "We're going to play a game that helps you tell the truth. How does that sound?"

He didn't answer her.

"I said, how does that sound?" she said as her eyelashes began to quiver with anger.

"You need help, Annie."

She began to laugh, "I need help? I need help? I think you're the one who needs help. You stalked a person for months and almost raped them today. I am just bringing the vigilante justice that you deserve."

* * *

 

**The Real World**

 

**Paramount Studios Storage**

In the storage room, Britta stood on the study room table and pulled Abed out of the Dreamatorium.

"Abed," Britta said with a strained voice, "You're such a wiry little dude. Who’d of thought you'd be this heavy."

"Sorry," Abed said as he struggled to get out of the Dreamatorium.

Britta successfully pulled Abed out of the Dreamatorium. They both stood on the table--in the darkness--observing their surroundings.

"It’s so quiet..." Britta said, "I don't hear anything...no music. No anything."

"It’s kind of unsettling," Abed said, "We have to find a way to get out of here."

"Hold on, Abed," Britta said, closing her eyes and grabbing his arm, "I want to stand here for a moment and absorb this."

After a minute, Abed said, "All right. We have to go. Who knows how much time we have."

"Fine," Britta sighed as she got off the study room table, "There's so much stuff in here. How are we supposed to get out? We could literally get lost for the rest of our lives in here."

Abed looked around the room and saw an "Exit," sign lit up. He grabbed Britta's hand and navigated through the storage room.

"Hey, there's the couch from the cafeteria!" Britta exclaimed as Abed pulled her through the stuff, "And that's my headboard and look that's Annie's dresser and-"

"This must be where they store stuff from old sets in case they want to re-use them."

"Abed, how are we supposed to, like, find this guy?"

"I have an idea," he said, "We need to get off of the studio lot first."

Abed found the exit to the storage room. They stepped out the door and felt the intense heat of the Californian sun.

Britta squinted and put her hand up in the air, blocking the rays from her eyes, "This is awesome! I'm going to get a sun-burn! A real sun-burn!"

"Britta, a sunburn isn't something to be excited about," Abed said.

"I know," she said with a smile, "But, like, Abed, we're here! We're _here_!"

"I know, but we do have to leave though. I need to get to a computer," Abed said.

"Shit. It’s hot," Britta said, pulling at the collar of her sweater, "Why did it have to be December in our universe?"

"We need to get off this lot as fast as possible.” 

A man in a golf cart drove up next to them, he spoke into a cell-phone, "Yes, I have Ms. Lange's cart. I'll be inside in a minute."

Britta looked over at the cart and then at Abed. "Abed, let's take this golf cart and drive out of here. It will save us on time."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Abed said, "I think that's Jessica Lange's golf cart."

"It will be fine..." Britta said, "In this universe we are TV stars."

"Yeah, but our show only lasted four seasons and we've been in re-runs for like three years. So they don't even shoot our show here anymore. The actors playing us could have fallen off the face of the earth."

"Why would Jessica Lange be here anyway?" Britta asked.

"She's probably on the sixth series of American Horror Story..." Abed explained, "We must be at Paramount."

"Well," Britta tilted her head at him, "I don't know about you, but I'm dying in this sweater and leather jacket. I'm not walking all the way to the exit of this place." She hopped into the golf cart and patted the passenger seat, signaling for Abed to join her. She gave him a wide smile, "Come on, Abed. This is a once in a lifetime chance. Think about how it will be an awesome story about the time you stole Jessica Lange's golf cart."

"You were the worst person to come here with," Abed replied, before sitting in the seat next to her in the golf cart.

"Character, Abed, character. We're not real people," she tilted her head at him, still smiling, "And besides, that's what makes this so much more exciting." Then she hit the gas.

* * *

**The Dark Timeline**

**Jeff Winger's Apartment**

**2:35pm**

Annie sat on the couch staring at Troy, who was still looking at the Dreamatorium in deep thought. Shirley got off of the chair she was sitting in and walked over to Jeff--who was facing a wall and leaning his forehead on it.

"Je-jeffrey," Shirley said, nudging Jeff's arm, "It-it will be fine."

Jeff turned his head slowly towards her and said, with a whisper, "They're gone, don't tell Annie and Troy, but I think Abed and Britta are gone and they aren't going to come back."

"Abed would never leave Troy behind," Shirley replied back with a whisper.

"Yeah, that's the logic you and I would use, but Abed's logic is much different," Jeff said, "See, he's just going to think how there are five more Timelines and five more Troys to be friends with and Britta...Well, Britta is just going to want to go somewhere else and not deal with this."

"Abed will come back, Jeff," Shirley said, "I know he will. It will be fine." She then sat back down on the chair. 

Jeff sighed and looked around the room. Annie anxiously looked at the Dreamatorium and Troy sat cross-legged in front of it--still thinking about what to do. Jeff walked over to the couch and sat down next to Annie. He then also began to stare at the Dreamatorium--waiting for something to happen.

* * *

**The Prime Timeline**

**The Central Air Room**

**2:45pm**

Evil Annie took Evil Jeff's pinky finger in her hand and said, "Digitus minimus manus, are you ready for my first question?"

Evil Jeff remained silent.

Evil Annie smiled at him and said with a cheery tone, "Come on, be a good sport, here. Are you ready?"

He nodded back to her.

"Do you like looking down my shirt when I don't notice at study meetings?"

"Yeah," Evil Jeff admitted.

"Do you think about me when you-- well you know?"

"Annie, you can't even say it out loud," Evil Jeff said.

"I don't want to," she replied, shrugging.

"I thought you were a villain?" Evil Jeff replied.

"I am! Don't test me!" Evil Annie yelled.

"Annie, are you sure you don't want me to take over?" Evil Abed asked her again, "You look uncomfortable."

"You do look uncomfortable," Jeff said. 

"I'm fine!" she said, then broke Jeff's ring finger, causing him to cringe, "Just answer the damn question, Jeff!"

He nodded back.

"I thought so," she said, but then took his pinky finger and snapped it back-- breaking it.

"Annie!" he said, "What the hell? I told the truth."

"Whoops, I guess I let it slip. Next question, do you think about Britta too?"

"Mmmhmm," he replied.

"I thought so," she said, then looked at Evil Britta, "All right next question, but this one is for Britta."

"Annie, I don't want to play."

Evil Annie took Evil Jeff's middle finger and slammed it back--breaking it.

"Britta, play," Evil Jeff cringed as his voice cracked.

"So, Britta, how much do you like to fuck Jeff?"

Evil Britta didn't answer at first, but then said, "Break his fucking fingers off, Annie because I couldn't care less about him and I'm not answering any of you fucking sadistic questions."

Evil Annie rolled her eyes. She took Evil Jeff's pointer finger, pushed it back and broke it, "Why is it that you two are so selfish, you can't even help each other? This is getting boring anyway." She got up off of Jeff's lap and stood in front of them.

"Trrrooyy," Evil Annie called him over with faux enthusiasm, "Untie them."

Evil Troy did as she said, then wen't back into his corner.

"Stand over there," Evil Annie ordered Evil Jeff and Evil Britta.

Evil Jeff and Evil Britta stood in front of Evil Annie.

Evil Annie paced back and forth with slow steps, then declared, "Britta, take Jeff's blazer off."

Evil Britta stood facing Jeff and took his blazer off.

"Now," Evil Annie began, "take his shirt off."

Evil Britta's eyes widened and turned, facing Annie, "This is really fucked-"

"Do it!" Evil Annie screamed.

Evil Britta took Evil Jeff's shirt off.

"Disconnect that stupid prosthetic arm he has." Evil Annie said--pacing back and forth--looking at the ground.

Evil Britta took off his prosthetic arm and dropped it on the floor.

"Kick it over to me," Evil Annie ordered.

Evil Britta kicked the arm over to her.

"Hands...or well for Jeff," she began to laugh, "hand on your head!"

Evil Jeff and Evil Britta put their hands on their head.

"...What do you two have to say for yourselves?"

"Annie, I didn't want him to do it, yeah it was my idea originally, but I didn't want him to go through with it. I wanted to stop him," Evil Britta said, knowing that if she got killed, then the Prime Britta and the Prime Abed could not complete their mission.

"How about you, Jeff?" Evil Annie asked.

"I'm sorry, Annie. I-it was so hard to almost do that, because I didn't want to its because I-I lov-"

"Save it-" she said through gritted teeth and raised her eyebrows at them and pointed at Evil Britta, "Do you love _her_ , Jeff? Because it seems like you were so adamant about keeping her around."

Evil Jeff didn't say anything.

"Or were you just keeping her around as your sex toy?"

He didn't reply.

"That's what I thought. Did you ever pretend you were fucking me instead?"

"Annie, this has gone too far!" Evil Troy announced. He walked toward Evil Annie with a forced confidence. 

She looked over Evil Troy scathingly, and yelled, "I am the villain of the story and I don't half ass anything!"

"Aren't you exhausted, Annie?" Evil Troy asked her, "I know acting like this takes a lot out of you."

"Of course I'm exhausted, but I follow through with everything I do!" she screamed and then looked at Evil Jeff, "Huh? How bout it? Did you ever imagine yourself fucking me instead of Britta?"

Evil Jeff didn't answer.

"Why so quiet Jeff? Is it because you hate to tell the truth?" She turned to Evil Britta and asked, "How about you, do you love him? This piece of shit who manipulates all around him for his own selfish and personal gain?"

Evil Britta's face dropped, "No."

"Lies, lies, lies, lies," Evil Annie repeated, then began to pace back and forth again.

* * *

**The Real World**

**A Coffee Shop**

After successfully leaving Paramount Studios, Abed and Britta walked down Melrose Ave and into a coffee shop. The Black Keys were playing in the background.

"Abed," Britta turned to him, "This place is amazing. Do you smell that? It’s coffee! Real coffee! Its the real smell of real coffee! Let's get some!"

"I don't want coffee," Abed turned to her, "I just want to see the Creator, get an ending, and go home, so I can drink special drink with Troy."

"We will never be here again," Britta said, "You gotta try stuff!"

"We need to find out what is going on," Abed said to her. He walked up to the barista.

Britta sat at a table, a guy came up to her and said, "Hey! Other hot girl from that show that's always on Comedy Central! The one with Pete Campbell's wife! I used to follow you on Twitter... Well, when Twitter was cool."

"Um... thanks?" Britta replied, "Other hot girl?"

"Do the thing," he said.

"What thing?" Britta raised her eyebrows at him.

"The pizza thing!" he replied, "Like, dude, I have no freakin' clue what was goin' on in that episode, but, like, that part was awesome."

"I don't recall that," Britta replied.

"Hello, could you please tell me what day it is?" Abed asked the barista.

"March 25, 2016," The barista replied, then raised her eyebrows at him, "You-you're on that show! That hysterical show! What's it called again?"

"The one set at a community college?" Abed asked her.

"No," she shook her head, "This one is on FOX on Tuesdays, after _New Girl._ Took that time that the show with Kelly from _The Office_ was on."

"What day of the week is today?" Abed asked her.

"Friday," she nodded back, "Are you okay, dude?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Abed replied and looked at the clock. He couldn't read it, so he wen't back to the table Britta was at.

"Look, buddy," Britta said, berating the guy she had been talking to, "I don't know what you are talking about and I'm not doing some stupid dance for you. Get lost!"

"I am like never posting any gifs of you like ever again!" the guy yelled back at her, "And I'm throwing out my copy of that magician movie where you bone Steve Carell!"

"Good, go ahead!" Britta yelled back at him, "I'm sure you wouldn't be smart enough to appreciate it!"

"Britta don't piss people off," Abed said, "We don't know how famous you are, you could be upsetting some of the actor who plays you's fans."

"Sorry," she said, "That guy was just such a jackass."

"What time is it?" Abed asked her.

Britta looked over at the clock, "Like seven thirty."

"We need to get to a computer to see what's going on," he said. Abed went back up to the barista and asked, "Is there a library nearby?"

"There's one right down the street, but it’s closed until tomorrow."

"Okay, thank you" He replied. He turned around and saw two new guys sitting at Britta's table. Britta was smiling and playing with her hair, "This is not good. We’re teetering on a _Purple Rose of Cairo_ situation," Abed said to himself.

"Guess what!" Britta exclaimed, "This is Patrick and Jeremy... they live on Venice Beach and haven't watched TV in... how long did you guys say?"

"Six years this September," the one Britta pointed to as Jeremy said. He wore a flannel shirt and jeans. His hair was messy, yet stylish.

"He's a street performer," Britta nodded, raising her eyebrows at Abed, "And Patrick makes things out of wood."

"Hey man," Patrick said, wearing a beanie hat, jeans, and suspenders.

Abed's eyes widened as he looked at the two men Britta was sitting with, "We have to go... now, Bri-"

"You mean, Shirley?" Britta interrupted.

"Of course, _Shirley_ ," Abed nodded, understanding Britta was using fake, un-creatively made-up names.

"Because, _Pierce_ ," She narrowed her eyes at him, "I'm not ready to go. Patrick and Jeremy have been kind enough to invite us to this party at their friend's loft and I would really, really like to go."

"But what about that thing we said we would do for our friends?" Abed replied.

"We've been here for over two hours and nothing has happened," Britta replied with pursed lips, "They can wait."

"No. They can't," Abed replied.

"Oh, yes, they can," Britta said, then got up from the table, turning to Patrick and Jeremy, "You guys ready to go?"

* * *

 

**The Dark Timeline**

**Jeff Winger's Apartment**

**2:45pm**

"Annie's gun..." Troy said. His eyes lit up as he turned away from the Dreamatorium and looked at his friends.

"What about my gun?" Annie asked.

"Where did you keep it?" Troy asked.

"In the top left drawer of my dresser."

Troy smiled, "Do you know what this means?"

"What?" Jeff asked, annoyed.  

"There are five more timelines and five more of Annie's gun," He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Troy, please don't tell me you are going to do what I think you are going to do." Jeff said, with discontent.

"Um, I guess I won't tell you then?" Troy said with a shrug.

"You are not going in there!" Jeff yelled, "We've already lost Britta and Abed. We're not losing you too!"

"Here's the thing, Jeff," Troy looked at him with a straight, serious face, "Sometimes... you're wrong... Render environment!" The Dreamatorium lit up and Troy ran through.

Jeff's eyes widened as he looked at Annie, "He did not just do that? Did he really just do that? This is just great! We're disappearing one by one." He shook his head and sighed.

"What are we gonna do now?" Shirley asked, clutching her purse.

Jeff looked down at Annie, her head laying his chest. He slowly got up from the couch, releasing her from his embrace and said, "I don't know. I need to lie down. Get me if one of those bozos decides to come back." He walked down the hallway into the bedroom.

Annie looked over at Shirley and said, "Abed will come back and figure this out, don't worry. He wouldn't abandon us... He just wouldn't. Troy will be back too."

"Abed and Troy aren't the ones I'm worried about never coming back," Shirley replied, with a somber tone.

Annie got up and wen't down the hallway to Jeff's room. She cracked open the door and poked her head through. She stared at Jeff laying down with his eyes closed. His hand was in a fist, resting on his forehead. Thinking he need to be alone, she started to close the door, but it made a creaking sound. 

Jeff opened his eyes and looked over at her. Annie was about to close the door completely and leave.“Wait," he said. "Come here."

Annie began to walk into the room. She closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of the bed, putting her hand on his thigh.

He grabbed her hand in his and pulled her closer to lie down next to him. He took her in his arms to spoon her and whispered in her ear, "I was so afraid we would lose you again. I don't know what I would’ve done if that happened to you. I don't think I could’ve repeated the series without you knowing too--especially after knowing what Evil Jeff was going to do to you."

"We still might not get sent back. What time did you say it happens at?"

"Three-thirty."

Annie looked at her watch, "It’s almost three."

They laid in silence for a couple moments. Jeff then said faintly, "I'm sorry, Annie."

"For what?" She said and rolled over toward him, so they were face to face.

"For not going after you right away in the original script," he said. His eyes were vulnerable and his forehead crinkled.

"It’s okay," she gave him half smile back, "It’s not your fault."

Jeff breathed in deep and said with a slight whimper, "I don't think you understand though... I don't think I was ever was gonna go after you, at least not right away... The only reason I did this time was because--because Br-"

"Shh,"Annie covered his mouth with her hand and shook her head. She sucked her bottom lip and her forehead crinkled, "I don't want to know," her voice became shaky, "I don't ever wan't to know. All that matters is you came this time."

"I'm scared, Annie," Jeff said to her, "I'm scared that-that..."

"What are you afraid of?" She asked him gently as she grazed his hair with her fingers.

"That I'm just like him..."

"You're not," she replied. Her hand moved away from his hair and cupped his cheek.

"It’s just that, I think- I think I'm in love you, Annie, but I'm-I'm..."Jeff drifted off.

Annie looked into Jeff's eyes and gave him a soft kiss. She pulled away licking her lips.

Jeff's eyes remained closed.

"It’s going to be okay, Jeff," Annie said, whispering into his ear, "Troy and Abed will come back. Everything will be fine."

"Yeah, but what about Britta?" He opened his eyes. Annie was holding his face in her hands and caressing his cheek with her thumb, "What if she found a better timeline? Do you think she’ll come back?"

Annie remained silent and closed her eyes for a moment. She sat up and said with an almost indistinct voice, "I don't know." She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Jeff moved his head onto her lap-- laying there in silence.

"Regardless of how it ends, Jeff," Annie said, caressing his back, "I'm glad I get to spend part of my existence with you, even if it is for less than a day, even if its only for this moment." She grasped her hand in his and restrained herself from tearing up.

* * *

 

**The Real World**

**Venice Beach, California**

After sitting in traffic for hours while driving to Venice Beach, Abed found himself following Britta and the two guys she befriended, walking down the Venice Beach boardwalk. Britta turned to him and said, "Abed, this place is literal heaven. There’s, like, a medicinal marijuana store, like, everywhere you look."

"I need to get to a computer," Abed said.

Britta rolled her eyes, "Abed, can't you just relax and enjoy yourself for once?"

He shook his head at her, "We need to figure out what’s going on. The fabric of our universe could be falling apart as we speak."

Patrick and Jeremy stopped in front of an apartment building, "This is it," Jeremy said.

"Don't go," Abed said, "We need to find a computer and figure out what is going on and what we need to do."

"Maybe they have a computer?" She turned to Jeremy and asked, "Does your friend have a computer?"

"Yeah," Patrick said, "He's kind of a douche about it though. He's a DJ and like doesn't like people touching it."

"See," Abed said. He stood there for a moment and looked at Britta, "I need to get to a library."

"Dude," Jeremy said, "You should, like, go to Loyola Marymount, their library is like open all the time, man."

Abed walked up to Britta and said, "I'm not leaving you alone."

"I'll be fine. I wont leave here," Britta replied.

"Please, come with me. This isn't like where we're from. This isn't some story. You may not be safe here. You never really did follow Radiohead around the country. It’s only your backstory to make you seem sexy, rebellious and mysterious."

"You think I'm sexy?" she asked him with a smile.

"Stay on the task at hand, Britta," Abed said.

"I wont leave. Go to the library and come get me after. I'll stay right here."

"I'm not leaving you alone, we have to stay together. Our cell phones don't work here and I can't lose you," Abed replied, "How do we know that Jeremy isn't like Frederick in _The Collector_?"

Britta ignored Abed's last comment and looked over at Jeremy, "Is there any way he could use a computer? It’s, like, really important to him."

Jeremy shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess I could probably find you one. Someone always brings theirs to these things anyway."

Abed followed Britta, Patrick and Jeremy into the apartment building. He found himself amassed by hipsters at a party with electronic indie pop playing in the background. Jeremy took Britta's hand and led her into the crowd, while Abed turned to Patrick and asked, "Where's this computer?"

"You can use Jade's," Patrick said, motioning his head towards an Apple Macbook on the coffee table.

Abed walked over to the computer and opened the web browser and typed in "Sitcoms set at a community college," causing him to fall down a rabbit hole of web surfing. He sat there as the party went on, encompassing himself with every detail of their show, the actors that played them and their Creator.

As he sat for hours, the darkness of the night faded and the rays of the sun began seeping through the blinds. Abed rubbed his eyes, noticing those around him were either asleep or leaving. He looked around for Britta, but she wasn't anywhere in sight. He poked Patrick, who was sleeping on a futon and asked, "Where's Br-Shirley?"

Patrick turned over to his side, while grumbling, "She went to the beach with Jeremy."

Abed shook his head and walked down the stairs, and down the street towards the boardwalk. He spied Jeremy who was balancing on one hand, doing his "street performance," as Britta sat watching him.

Britta wore high wasted jean cut-off shorts, Ray-ban aviators and a faded, purple cut-off tank top. Her hair looked like she hadn't brushed it for days and a weird headband made out of bottle caps sat on her head like she was queen of the gutterpunks. 

Abed sat down next to her and said, "You won't believe what I've discovered."

"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

"The actor who plays Troy is a famous rapper."

"Wow," Britta said, with faux-interest.

"The actress who plays Annie is on _Mad Men_ and may have more gifs of herself on the internet than any other person."

"Cool," Britta replied--her responses becoming less interested and bland.

"The actress who plays you-"

"Abed," Britta interrupted. She looked at him with a serious expression, "I don't really care."

"Okay," Abed said, "I've found the Creator."

"Do you still want to go?" she asked him.

"Of course," Abed tilted his head at her, his eyebrows narrowing out of concern.

"Abed!" Britta said with wide eyes and a smile, "Why do you want to? We can stay here! With Patrick and Jeremy! We can stay here on the beach, join their jug band and sell these awesome bottle cap-I think it’s jewelry, but who cares? That's what we can do! We don't have to go back!"

"Britta, we--both of us have to go back," Abed said, "You can't live as a homeless hippy who sells bottle cap accessories on Venice Beach."

"Why not?" she said with a deranged smile, "It’s awesome here and-and, like, this way I don't have to face it! I don't have to see the ending. Who gives a rat's ass about the ending when we can live here! Where everything is real! I can feel here!"

"They need us, Britta. Our friends are in trouble."

"But Abed, its awesome here. Like, people don't get every reference and they actually want to hear my Radiohead stories and- and its nice... They'll be fine in the Dark Timeline. Jeff can be with Annie. Troy will be fine, he'll get a job fixing things and Shirley is sober, so she'll get her kids back. They'll be fine."

"No, they won't," Abed replied, "Britta, change back into your normal clothes and come see the Creator and ask him to help us."

"I sold my old clothes. Apparently my shoes were Prada and were worth, like, three hundred bucks and my jacket was real leather. I got five hundred for that. That alone and my bottle cap jewelry money will last me like three months. Abed, why don't you just do it?"

"Because I need you to go," he said, "Please."

Britta paused for a moment, then said, "Fine...I'll go, but I'm not promising you that I'll go back."

Abed nodded back at her. Britta used Jeremy's cell phone to call a taxi. Her and Abed waited outside of the apartment building for it to come.

"Britta?" Abed asked her as they waited for a taxi.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can."

"I just wanted to say that out of all my friends, you fascinate me the most."

Britta laughed then looked over at Abed, "Thanks, but may I ask why, exactly?"

"Because I could never predict what you were going to do. I could never predict that we would be here now and I appreciate it, because the monotony of Our universe would have been unbearable without you. These last few cycles with you being aware of our Medium have been the greatest moments of my life. Thank you."

She smiled back at him, "You're welcome, Abed. That means a lot to me."

"And by saying that," Abed said, "I don't want to meet him with you."

"Abed? Why not?"

"Because the ending is always the best part. I want to be in awe. I wan't to be surprised for once."

"Okay," Britta smiled back at him.

"Thank you." He nodded back, "Britta, you loved Jeff--the entire time-- didn't you?"

"No," Britta whined, attempting to defend herself.

"Britta... I think I know what happened at that paintball game by now. It’s happened over thirty times."

"Thanks for reminding me," she said with sarcasm.

"Then why did you do it?" Abed asked.

"Do what?"

"Sacrifice yourself for him?"

Britta paused to look at the Los Angeles sidewalk. Their cab came. She did not respond to Abed and got in.

Abed sat next to her and stared at her.

"Character development. I did it for the sake of Jeff's character development. That's the only reason I exist," Britta said vacantly.

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**

**GCC Security Camera Control room**

**2:45pm**

"Hmm," the Dean said to himself as he sat in the security room of Greendale. He looked at the television screens in front of him, "Where is Jeffrey? If I'm going to sabotage him studying for that test tomorrow, I'm going to have to find him first."

On the first screen, the Dean gazed at, Pierce was aimlessly wandering around the hallway, muttering to himself. The next one showed Leonard putting laxatives in Duncan's portable coffee mug, which most likely did not contain coffee. 

The Dean's eyes quickly scanned across the camera which showed the entrance to the school, where a pizza delivery guy walked in.

"Where could they be?" the Dean sat back in his chair, pursing his lips.

His eyes shifted towards the one black screen. He raised his eyebrows, tilting is head at the screen. "The central air room, with no Pierce? Hmm... I bet they're having a going-away party for Jeffrey--without me!"

The Dean stood up from his chair, he was about to turn around, but then noticed the pizza guy, standing in the hallway. "They even ordered pizza! Hmm, that pizza guy looks familiar." He then ran out of the security camera control room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone cares--At the beginning of the chapter, Annie says, "Cease Environment!" five times. Since this scene is supposed to be happening at the same time that Abed and Britta are travelling to the Real World, Annie was the one causing Britta and Abed to get stuck in the other Timelines because every time Abed rendered the environment, Annie stopped it. Abed and Britta stop in five different Timelines--one for each time Annie says, "Cease Environment"-- before they make it to their intended destination.


	10. Cue the Jeff Winger Speech Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Britta meets the creator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the original work on FF.net, this would have been the very,very long last chapter. For this work, the chapter that was known as, "A Jeff Winger Speech for Everything," will now be broken up into two chapters (this being the first of those two).

**The Real World**

Abed and Britta stood in front of their Creator's house.

"I'm scared," Britta said, "What am I supposed to say?"

"Tell him to give us an ending--so we don't end on a cliffhanger--so Annie isn't crazy."

"But Annie isn't crazy this time," Britta shrugged back at him, "We saved her before Evil Jeff got her."

"Yeah, but what about next time? What if we cant break from the script and she is forced into doing what is written for her? Do you know how much worse it will be for her now that she is aware of the medium? How she will be forced into following Evil Jeff into that Costume Closet because the script tells her to?" Abed said. "You see the only reason why nothing has happened to us yet, is because our last episode was on a Friday. You see, once six o'clock on Monday rolls around, everything will repeat. They'll go back to the first episode."

"Can it even repeat without me there?" Britta asked.

"I don't know," Abed replied, "I don't make the rules, Britta, I just figure them out as I go along and try as hard as I can to work around them."

"Well, here I go," Britta gulped. She walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. She turned around and noticed, Abed was gone.

A man answered the door, "Hey, this is a surprise. How did you get past the front gate?"

"It’s not that hard," Britta replied, "Listen-"

"Wait--aren't you supposed to be filming some indie movie in Toronto? Are you playing a prostitute again?"

“What?” 

 “You know, if you ever became, like, more well known, it would be hilarious if you played the Shelley Long role in a remake of _Night Shift_ \--but only because you play a lot of prostitutes. You don’t really remind me of Shelley Long though--besides you two both being blondes and--” 

"No. I'm not an actress," Britta replied, narrowing her eyes at him, "I'm here bec-"

"Please don't tell me you're trying method acting." He cringed. "I knew something had to be up with those clothes you are wearing."

"Listen!" she said with an almost yell, "I'm not her. I'm Britta!"

"Haha, great joke!" he laughed, "Where are the cameras? You Vining this?"

"Nowhere," she said, with wide eyes, "It’s me, Britta Perry."

"Are you feeling all right?" he tilted his head at her.

"I'm dead serious, dude," she said, tilting her head back at him.

"Ok-ay, 'Britta,'" he replied, trying not to laugh, "Come inside and we'll talk."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm," Britta said as she walked into the house and sat down on the living room couch.

"So, 'Britta,'" he said with a smirk, "Why are you here?"

"I want you to change the ending," she replied raising her eyebrows.

He erupted into laughter, "This joke is really bad. I hope you know that? Seriously, are you Vining this?"

"I'm fucking serious," Britta said, "We've been stuck in re-runs, repeating the same episodes over and over. So I used the Dreamatorium to get here to ask for help because Annie is in trouble because Evil Jeff keeps driving her insane and like for some reason I'm in love with Jeff, but he might be in love with Annie and it’s like one, giant, freaking mess!"

"I'm done with _Community_ ," he said, with a serious expression, "Do you know it took me over a year to watch the fourth season? Can you please stop this joke, Gillian. It’s not funny and so unlike you to keep it going this long."

"I'm not her! I'm Britta Perry and I'll fucking prove it! Ask me something only Britta would know!"

"Fine," he said, "What happened at that Radiohead show you keep trying to tell a story about?'

"The one in New York at Radio City where I stabbed a guy in the shoulder who tried to rape me or the one when I met Thom Yorke outside of the Harbor Lights Pavilion in Boston?"

He laughed for a second to himself, then looked at her in disbelief, "I literally just made that up in my head. I literally just added that to Britta's backstory this very second... How did you figure it out?"

"Because I'm Britta Perry and you created me," she said with a forced half-smile.

"What happened to your Dad?"

"He died when I was fourteen," she said as her smile faded, "That's why I knew it was so important for Jeff to forgive his father."

"Because you never forgave yours," he stated solemnly, then got up from the couch and said, "I'll be right back."

A couple minutes later, he came back with a computer, sat down on the couch and opened it. He looked over at her, sitting on the couch and said, "Nice shirt, I wasn't aware that one could find such appealing clothing in a dumpster."

"Says the man who thinks he looks good in a striped shirt."

"I never said I think I looked good in stripes."

"I know. I'm just assuming that you do because you're wearing one in every picture of yourself around this place."

"I'm not the one who probably strategically placed her hair to look messy, but not homeless--panhandling--holding a cardboard sign messy. I bet you're carrying around a compact mirror in your back pocket, fixing it when no one is looking."

Britta pursed her lips at him as she felt her back pocket for the compact mirror, "Look, I'm going through an emotional crisis right now and its all your fault!"

"It’s not my fault at all."

"It definitely is!"

He shook his head. "No. It’s not."

"You got fired for being a selfish ass and they cancelled us without and ending!"

“Did I get fired for being a selfish ass? Maybe. I dunno. I mean--I mean, I’m not Sony. Did I deliberately ignore network notes and disappear to go to San Francisco Sketchfest? Maybe, but--well...I don't know if that necessarilly makes me a complete selfish ass. I'm sure there are some other things that do, but---well--maybe I wasn't the best at my job--- But it’s not my fault they’ve entangled you in all these romantic relationships that are like _Dawson’s Creek_ on acid. Look. If I were running things, there’d be-be-I dunno, like an episode where you’d be running a Communist regime that takes over Greendale and you’d have this white throne in the Study Room that you’d sit on like a sexy boss and eat strawberries and cliche stuff like that--because that is awesome and after being shat on for, like, four seasons, you would have deserved it--even if it was a dream sequence

'"And-and there’d be more Dungeons and Dragons. And-and when Jeff would have met his dad, it would have been dark hell. It would've be dark as network TV could get--actually it’d be darker. It would have been darker. Because you are all broken and the real world isn’t all sunshines and rainbows and buttercup flowers and _Strawberry Shortcake_ crap like that...

:\"But here’s the thing about TV--there are budgets and-and--it’s all lies. The characters are all lies. The stories are all lies. Its all about the commercials and not about the story. How much money can this company make if they put a commercial on during this show? Do the people who watch this show buy expensive cars? Because-because if the show is--I dunno-- _Bob’s Burgers,_ then the answer is, ‘no.‘  If the show is _Modern Family,_ then-then yes. That's what those Nielson fuckers say. It’s always like, can I win an Emmy with this time slot? Does it even matter if I win an-an Emmy and get canceled anyway? Can I even do this, or will the network not let me? Why does the perpetual piece of shit known as _The Big Bang Theory_ continue on--even now in its twelfth season--when the only shows that deserved to go over ten seasons were _Cheers_ , _MASH_ and _The Simpsons_. And-and even they had to keep re-inventing themselves to do that! It’s all about the masses being spoon fed these same, old, tired, dumbed-down jokes because they don't want to feel alienated. They want to believe they have a sense of humor, when in reality, the majority of people are dumber than you are when it comes to humor and pop-culture."

 Britta glared at him and said, "You're a pompous, self-righteous, ass-hat! That's it! I'm leaving! Even if that awesome scenario where I get to take over Greendale was in the works at some point! I can't believe I came here and to think it was all for Abed because he didn't want to meet you! I'm going back to Venice Beach to sell bottle cap-" Britta tried to take off her bottle-cap headband, but it was tangled in her hair, "Bottle-cap- whatever the fuck this is supposed to be!"

"Wait. Abed is here?" He tilted his head at her.

"Yeah. He's waiting down the street. How the hell do you think I got here? I can't work a Dreamatorium... He didn't want to meet you."

"I understand," he nodded back at her, then said, "Okay, I'll do it."

"So, now you want to do it?"

"Yeah," he shrugged back at her. He focused on the computer screen and asked her, "What do you want me to do? You wanna take over Greendale? Eat some strawberries? Have Subway come back? Make you run off with Ben Folds or something?"

She sat and thought, smirking, "Do you know why I originally came here? You probably do, actually..."

"You wanted me to write an ending where you end up with Jeff? You know you’re not thinking both creatively and big enough. Think. You-you could have, like, Ben Folds. _Ben...Folds_. Huh? How does that sound? Do you wanna be _the luckiest_?"

"Sounds, like, really awesome--like really awesome, but I came here because-"

"You do know that you and Jeff were technically together in the original ending?" 

"Yeah, but Annie was-"

"Annie was insane?"

"Yeah and-

"And you don't want that to happen?" 

"Stop interrupting me!" Britta yelled back at him, then calmed herself to say, "It’s not a matter of want at this point. I guess what I really just want--"

"You just said it wasn't a matter of want." 

"Would you let me continue? Jesus," she sighed, "I guess what I want is for me--for everyone--is just for you to give us free will and enable us with a way, so we don't fade into the darkness when they take us out of syndication."

"Okay. I'll-I’ll figure something out," he nodded back at her, "but you know what?"

'What?" she asked, giving him a half laugh to conceal her oncoming tears.

"You will-you will always go back to one another--regardless of whether or not he ends up with Annie, or-or thinks he loves Annie--and do you know why?"

She shook her head at him.

"Because-because no matter how much we change throughout the course of our lives, we-we always will need to be reminded of who we really are. We take comfort in that when we fly off the handle, there will be that one person with the balls to tell you to cut the shit. Sometimes it may be harsh, but it’s also exactly what you need. This person can inspire you to do better, but-but they can also cause you to sink into insurmountable depths--yet they are simultaneously inspiring you to climb out of these depths and overcome your own self."

"Thanks. I think?" she said.

After a pause, he said while staring at his computer screen, "The thing about sitcoms is we always expect a resolution after the twenty-whatever minutes are up. We feel closure in resolution--to know that they finally get to go home in _MASH_ or that Sam kept the bar in _Cheers_ , or that Rachel got off the plane and came back. Give or take, almost every episode is essentially the same story with different words," he laughed to himself, "and it just seems so like _Community_ to end on a cliffhanger, because we-we subvert tropes, we don't follow them. We never were going to have complete closure, because-because in life, closure, or-or-or maybe even perfection isn't entirely possible. No. No. It’s not possible."

"Listen," Britta said to him, "I don't care how you end it... just, please give us free will when it ends."

He nodded back to her and began to type on his computer.

* * *

 

**The Real World**

**A Park**

Britta found Abed in the park where they agreed to meet when it was over. She sat next to him on the bench without saying a word.

"Did you find out how it ends?" he asked her after a couple of minutes of silence.

She gave Abed a slow nod, as she looked at the grass. 

"Abed," she turned to him, "I came here with selfish motives. I'm sorry for that."

"It’s okay, we all have our flaws," he replied.

"Why do stories have to end?" she asked Abed.

"Here's the thing, Britta," Abed took his eyes off the ground and looked at her, "stories--much like real life--are never linear, but circular. We are always facing something new each day. Always repeating the same steps to look for something--whether that be a physical thing or something inside of ourselves. Sometimes we find it, other times we don't. The tragedy of it all, is that we will never stop searching."

"We will never stop searching" she repeated, smiling back at him, “Character development?” 

"Exactly. You've become much more genre savvy, ever since you found out," he said with a slight smile.

"I'm ready to go back, Abed."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded back to him with a half-hearted smile, "Yeah. I know what I have to do."

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**

**A Greendale Hallway**

**2:55pm**

The Dean speed walked down the hallways of Greendale, his set destination, the Central Air Room. On his way over there, he was stopped by Pierce.

"Dean! I have been trying to track down Brittles for the last hour! The cell phone GPS signal has disappeared!"

"Well, that is certainly odd, Pierce." The Dean was about to walk away, but then cringed, to say, "Pierce, I know where they are. Follow me."

"You do?" Pierce asked, "Don't tell me, they're doing something awesome without me?"

"I think they might be," the Dean reluctantly told him.

* * *

 

**The Dark Timeline**

**Jeff Winger's Apartment**

**2:55pm**

"Jeff?"Annie asked. She was brushing her fingers through his hair as they waited in his room for something to happen.

"Yeah?" he replied, looking up at her as his head rested on her lap.

"They're not coming back, are they?"her voice stifled at the thought.

"No. I don't think so," he said frowning while grasping her hand in his.

Suddenly they heard knocks on the front door.

"What the hell is that?" Jeff asked. He rose from the bed and listened again.

Shirley came through his bedroom door, frantic and said, "It’s the police!"

"What the hell are the police doing here?" Jeff asked.

"Wh-oops," Annie said. Her voice was faint and her forehead was crinkled.

"Whoops, Annie? Whoops?" Jeff looked at her, worried, "What does 'whoops' mean?"

"It means I made a phone call that I probably should not have," she said with a high pitched whimper.

"Who did you call?" he asked her.

"I'm not allowed... to say," Annie said slowly. Her voice started to crack.

"You called your sponsor!" Jeff asked angrily.

Annie's face scrunched up. She uttered with a cry, "I thought I took pills! I thought this was a hallucination. I mean, hell everything that is happening is crazy! Who wouldn't think that at first!"

"Annie!" Jeff yelled, "Do you know what happened to the Annie in this timeline?"

She shook her head at him. Her eyes started to fill with tears.

"She's been in and out of a mental hospital!" Jeff said with a harsh whisper.

"Well, that explains a lot," Annie said cringing, but slightly shrugging in attempt to lighten the situation.

"They might be here to take her back--only she's not here. _You_ are!" Jeff said.

"Oh, my God, what do we do? What do we do? What do we do?" Annie began to repeat as she paced back and forth.

"Calm down," Jeff grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes, "It’s going to be fine. Just sit down on the bed and stay in here."

Jeff took Shirley by the arm and led her out to the living room. The banging on the doors persisted.

Shirley turned to Jeff and said, "What do we do?"

Jeff stared at the door and replied, "I don't know. Shirley, we're so fucked."

The Dreamatorium began to light up, "What is going on with that?"Jeff asked, raising one eyebrow.

Abed and Britta stumbled out of the Dreamatorium.

"Where in Jesus' name have you two been?" Shirley said as she ran over to Abed and Britta who stood in the middle of the living room.

“We’ve been orchestrating a deus ex machina,” Abed said. 

"Someplace..else..." Britta said, with a half-smile.

"Does this someplace else happen to be a dumpster? Because that's where it looks like you got your clothes," Jeff said.

Britta ran up to him, giving him a hug.

"Well, this is... different," Jeff said with a smile.

"We went to the real world," Abed deadpanned, "Sorry we’re a bit late, but Britta stole Jessica Lange's golf cart and security was looking for us."

"Excuse me?" Shirley asked.

"The Real World? Like the MTV show...?" Jeff crinkled his forehead at them, "Jessica Lange?"

"No, like the place with real sunshine, real music, real coffee, real people and real marijuana," Britta beamed.

"That last one is pretty obvious from this Urban Outfitters meets trash heap thing you have going on here," Jeff said, while pulling at the material of Britta's shirt.

Britta responded while brushing Jeff's hand away, "I'm not the one covered in bite marks and a dirty tank top. What happened to your precious red Prada shirt, Winger? You might say you took it off to pay homage to some action movie or because your chest should not be hidden from the world, but we all really know it was because you hate sweating through your-"

"We don't have time for this!" Shirley yelled pointing back and forth at Jeff and Britta.

"Where's Annie?" Abed asked.

"She's down the hall," Shirley replied, gripping her purse. The banging on the door started again.

"What's that?" Abed asked.

"The police," Jeff said. "Annie called her sponsor--who called the police, well, because in this timeline Evil Annie is really mentally unstable."

"I'll take care of it. I know how to deal with _real_ cops," Britta began to walk towards the door, but Jeff grabbed her by the shoulder.

"I don't think a hippy Britta is the best person to deal with cops right now," Jeff said, pulling her away from the door.

“Fine," Britta shrugged, rolling her eyes, "I know! I'll sneak Annie out the window. True story! Like this really did happen last night. I was at this guy’s house for a party," she turned to Abed, “This was another party I went to after the one we were at. Anyway, these guys were doing cocaine-"

"Okay, we don't need to hear the rest of that," Shirley said.

Britta smiled at Shirley and walked down the hall.

"Where's Troy?" Abed asked.

Jeff rolled his eyes and sighed, "He decided to go into another timeline and get another one of Annie's gun."

"Good idea," Abed nodded.

"How was that a good idea?" Jeff asked, his eyebrows narrowing.

"Do you expect us to go over there with nothing to defend ourselves with? This isn't some movie where we can defeat the Big Bad by being pacifists. Even Hattori Hanzo had to pick up the sword again," Abed deadpanned. He walked down the hallway to the bedroom.

"Shit!" Abed heard Britta yell from the bedroom.

He opened the door and asked, 'What's wrong?"

"There's also a cop waiting outside! I can't sneak Annie out the window!" Britta threw her arms up in the air, "I hate cops! This is what you get with cops involved! We should be a society which governs ourselves-"

Abed took Annie's hand and dragged her out of the bedroom and into the living room.

"Abed?" Annie asked as he dragged her down the hallway, "What are you doing?"

"I'm not letting them take you away...to that place," he said, pulling her towards the Dreamatorium.

"Abed? What are you doing?" Jeff asked, “It’s almost three thirty. We're gonna get sent back anyway."

"Not this time," Abed replied. He looked at Annie, still holding her hand and said, "We have to wait for Troy and its not safe for you here. I'm going to take you somewhere where you will be safe."

The Dreamatorium then lit up.

"Abed, don't do that! Don't make it light up! Please, don't take her away!" Jeff pleaded as he grasped Annie's shoulder with his hand, "I can't lose her, like we almost lost Britta."

“Jeff, this isn’t really a time to deal with your abandonment issues,” Abed replied, “And I didn't make it do that.” He tilted his head at the Dreamatorium. 

The knocks on the door got louder. A voice said, "Please, come out or we're gonna have to come in."

Then Troy did a somersault roll out of the Dreamatorium and into the living room. He stood up and exclaimed, "Abed! I knew you would come back!"

"Of course, I did," Abed replied and then did his handshake with Troy. 

Britta came into the living room.

"And Britta did too?" Troy asked with a wide smile.

"Brit-ta did too!" Shirley replied giddily as she shook Britta's shoulders.

Jeff asked, "Troy, where the hell were you?"

Troy smiled and said, "Other timelines! It was pretty awesome. Like, the first one I went into, Abed lived in a mansion! So, like, I couldn't get the gun there, but he did have the original light sabers from _Empire Strikes Back_. The second timeline-"

The banging got louder, causing everyone to shudder.

"Had," Troy continued, "Britta living in Annie's room, and like everyone was married or getting divorced or arguing. It was like, my house on the day that's the same day as Christmas when we gather as a family and don't celebrate it. Then I left and was like, in another timeline, this one was my favorite," Troy looked at Annie and then at Britta, while biting his lip and raising his eyebrows. He then looked at Abed and said, "Let's just say I walked into Annie's room, unannounced, causing Bucket list item number four to be complete."

"Cool, cool, cool," Abed nodded.

"Perves," Britta muttered under her breath.

"I don't get it," Annie said.

"Its better you don't," Britta responded, not looking at Annie.

"Anyway, after almost getting punched in the face by that timeline's Annie-"

"I don't get it. Why would the Annie in that timeline try to punch you in the face?" Annie asked.

Britta tapped her shoulder, still looking away, "Lets just say, that after Abed and I stumbled into that timeline--because of a misunderstanding--I now happen to know that you wear way too much bubblegum lip gloss."

Annie, crinkled her forehead sucked on her bottom lip, then widened her eyes, "Ohh," she said, while blushing.

"Troy, you need to tell me what you saw later," Jeff said, to which Britta elbowed him in the abdomen.

"Ouch," Jeff narrowed his eyebrows at Britta.

"Anyway," Troy continued, "There was no gun in that timeline, Annie got rid of it. So, finally, I made it to another timeline where Abed and Annie were sleeping and spooning on the couch together, which was like really sweet... and it allowed me to sneak into her room and get," Troy pulled a revolver out of his sweater, while smiling, "this."

“I’m sorry.” Jeff said. He walked up to Troy and said, "You were right. I was wrong."

"Ar-are we going over there?" Shirley asked.

"Looks like it," Annie nodded then gulped.

"Before we go, I have something to say," Jeff said.

The pounding on the door began again, then a voice said, "Annie, it’s Dr. Georges. I'm here to talk to you. Just open the door for me."

Annie's eyes widened. She look at Jeff who smiled back at her and rubbed her back.

"Do we have time for this?" Shirley asked Abed, who then looked at Britta.

"Trust me, we have time," Britta gave Shirley a weak smile.

"What is the one thing every person is afraid of the most?" Jeff asked them.

"Failure?" Annie asked.

"God," Shirley said.

"The showrunner of their favorite show being replaced." Abed declared.

"How our country is slowly becoming more and more like a police state?" Britta asked, "How can it not be? I mean, we are literally running from the police as we speak."

"I got it!" Troy said and widened his eyes, "... Aliens."

Music began to play in the background--The Epic Jeff Winger Speech Music. 

"No. None of those," Jeff said, "It’s Ourselves. We are afraid to face our flaws. We don't want to look in the mirror and admit the person staring back at us is horrible--thinking about how this one certain trait is our downfall. How it’s the one thing holding us back. We can never see the good and we ignore the bad. Take Annie," Jeff gestured towards Annie as he began to walk around the room. "She is afraid that her obsessive nature--which we kindly tell her is being 'driven'-- will lead to another psychotic breakdown, but it hasn't! And she's shown us that by loosening up so much this year, that the lights in the fridge are dimming and the ice cream is melting, but guess what?"

"What?" Annie asked.

"Sometimes soupy, melted ice cream is exactly what you need because you can use it to make an awesome White Russian."

Annie smiled back at him.

"He's right," Britta said, nodding.

"Or Shirley! She is afraid that she may be a bad mother--that she will either just give up or fail, but she hasn't! She now runs a successful business and is graduating with a business degree."

Jeff temporarily was interrupted by the pounding on the door, but he continued,

"She made it through a devastating divorce and being a single mother-- all while going to school and working her ass off for a better life! Respect? Shirley is the reason respect exists!"

Shirley said with a smile, "Thank you, Jeffrey."

"And Troy! You have been trying to define yourself--who the person is that you're supposed to be. Because you're not just a Prom King, or Abed's best friend, or the Air Conditioning Messiah, or Britta Perry's ex-boyfriend," Jeff shook his head, "No. You are Troy Barnes, you are sensitive, yet confident and a great friend. You stand up for things when you know it’s wrong, and no one makes your decisions for you--Not Abed. Not Britta. Not me. Not your mother. Not your football coach. Not the Air-Conditioning Repair Annex. You are the one who makes your own decisions. I mean hell! You barely listened when we told you to not go into the Dreamatorium to the other Timelines and it was exactly what needed to happen."

"And it was totally worth it," Troy nodded.

"And Abed! Yes, we may always fear that he will take his meta-ness or his homages too far, but the truth is, is...he fixes us. Without him, we wouldn't exist-"

"Actually, without the Creator we-"

Jeff looked at Abed, "Bear with me?"

"Sorry," Abed replied.

"Without Abed, we wouldn't be here. He fixes us. He is the glue that holds us together--that prevents us from tearing apart. When I cause everything to fall apart, it’s not an epic Jeff Winger speech that brings us home--it’s Abed. It’s Abed never giving up on this group. On him knowing that we all need each other--and yes that also means Pierce--to an extent. Abed knows we all have a distinct purpose and reason for each of us to help another in this group. Abed is a shaman, but not because he can predict the future, or read our personalities, but because he's there catching the pieces for us as everything falls apart. 

"And Britta. She--and, well, everyone--may think she's the worst, with more depressing things to say than Charlie Brown or even more ridiculous things to say than Joey on _Friends_ , but she brings us down to earth! When things go too far, it’s Britta who ruins it and do you know why?"

Everyone began muttering while shaking their heads.

"Because things need to be ruined and put to an immediate stop before they go on too long, get tired, and slowly die a public and pitiful death before our very eyes. Much like the last three seasons of _The X-Files_ or _The Office_."

"Or the career of Chevy Chase," Abed said.

"Old Navy commercials are sad," Troy added.

"Almost as sad as the quality of _Karate Dog_ ," Annie said.

"Even my kids hated that movie," Shirley said.

"Exactly. Thank you," Jeff said, then turned to Britta, "Britta, you aren't as selfish as you think you are. Yes--you and I can be selfish asses sometimes. Yes, we put ourselves before the group and make it seem like we're really doing it to better everyone, but aren't. And--yes--you do have a tendency to run away or ignore your problems, but... You came back, Britta... You came back to help us, when you could have stayed in the Real World." He smiled at Britta. 

Britta smiled back at him.

"And I know it must not have not been easy. A, ‘thank you,’ is not enough."

Britta sat up and gave Jeff a tight hug. Jeff released her from his embrace and kept his arm around her shoulder. 

"We need to face this! We need to face ourselves and tell them that we are not going to let those flaws define us! Because we are too good for this! Too good to be them! We need to look our fear in the eyes and say, ‘screw you!’ Okay?"

They all nodded

"Are we ready to do this?"Jeff asked. 

Everyone stood up, giving Jeff a group hug.

Britta said, "I missed that music. The, ‘Jeff Winger inspirational Speech,’ music."

"All right. Give me the gun," Annie gestured to Troy.

"I was gonna give it to Jeff," Troy said.

"Why? Because he's a man?" Britta asked, pursing her lips.

"No, because-" Troy began to say.

"Who here is the only person-" Annie began.

"Character. We're characters," Britta interrupted.

"She's right," Abed said.

" _Character,"_ Annie rolled her eyes, "Who knows how to use a fire arm?"

"Um, you?" Troy said.

"And whose, counterpart is the one who has gone bat-shit crazy?" Annie asked.

"Yours?" Shirley said.

"Exactly. So give me the gun. I'll know what to do... She is--kind of-- me after all. Maybe just with less positive character development?" Annie said, then looked at Abed, "Are we ready to go?"

Abed nodded back to her and went through the Dreamatorium with Annie.

Troy followed. Then Shirley went through.

Jeff took a step toward the Dreamatorium portal. 

"Jeff, wait a sec," Britta grabbed his arm.

He turned toward her.

"Here. Take this," she passed him an Ipod and smiled.

'What's this?"

"Music from the Real World," she replied raising her eyebrows, "complete with the entire discography of Weezer."

Jeff looked down at it and smiled back at her--giving her a hug. She stood up on her tip toes and whispered in his ear, "Be with her, Jeff." Then stood flat footed, looking up at him, "You need her and she needs you."

He looked down, back at her and started to say, "But-but-"

She put her hand over his mouth and said, "But if you ever need to remember who you were, I'll be there when you need me."

"Don't wait for me," Jeff crinkled his forehead at her, "You're above that."

"Who said I would wait for you? Like you're worth waiting for?" she laughed back at him, "I'm gonna do what I want, but just remember one thing. You and I, we always go back to each other because we can't let go of who we used to be, no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we change... You see, we'll always be searching for something, Jeff, and we'll always need each other to find what we're looking for. That being said, good luck. I hope you found what you were looking for this time and for next time when you need to be reminded of who you really are, you'll know where to find me."

"You know how it ends, don't you?" he asked her.

"Yeah," Britta nodded with a faint whisper.

"Does everything work out?"

"Its subjective, there is no perfect ending," she replied. After a short pause, she asked, "Are you ready to go?"

Jeff nodded to her, took her hand, and then went into the Dreamatorium together.


	11. The Annie of It All

**The Prime Timeline**

**The Central Air Room**

**2:55pm**

Evil Annie stopped pacing back and forth. She stopped and looked at Evil Jeff and Evil Britta to say,"Kiss her goodbye, Jeff."

"Wh-why?" Evil Jeff asked. He looked at Evil Britta out of the corner of his eye.

"You'll see in a minute...Abed and I haven't completed our homage yet."

"Shit-shit-shit," Evil Jeff began to repeat.

"Kiss her goodbye, Jeff! Because it’ll be the last time you two see each other!"

Evil Jeff winced and leaned over and kissed Evil Britta on the lips.

"Good," Evil Annie smiled, “Now that the adorable couple has said their goodbyes, we can start. Abed?"

"Can I start?"

Evil Annie sighed. "I don't know if I want to do that though."

"Do you want to do the other thing?" Evil Abed asked her.

Evil Annie sucked her cheek while thinking, "I don't think we have time... it’s just the _Natural Born Killers-_ thing is so tacky and cliche and it makes it seem like we're--well, dumb and uneducated."

"What do you want to do instead?"

“We could ask a question," she shrugged.

"We could--However, that would put Britta at a disadvantage."

"Hey!" Evil Britta yelled, "I know things!"

"Yeah, that's just not fair," Evil Annie sighed, “I guess this is the only fair way, huh?"

"We could flip a coin," he suggested.

"Yeah, but I want to do something that we both can do--together. Otherwise we wouldn't be the outlaw couple." She smiled at Abed. 

"That's true," Evil Abed smiled back. 

Evil Annie shook her head and replied, rolling her eyes, "I guess we are just going to have to do it the way we planned--no matter how idiotic it may sound."

"Okay...Can I go first?"

"Of course you can!" she smiled back at him.

Still wearing the circular, John Lennon sunglasses, Evil Abed walked over and said, "Einny-meany-miny moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he-"

"Hollars," Evil Annie continued while rolling here eyes, "let him go. Iny, meany, miny. m-"

Evil Abed interrupted, "My mother said to pick the very best and it is-'"

"Not you," Evil Annie's gun stopped over Evil Britta's head, "Hmm. Seems like you lucked out for once, Britta."

She pointed the gun at Evil Jeff--who remained silent--while closing his eyes.

"What?" she laughed with disbelief, "No one last, great, epic, Jeff Winger speech?"

Evil Jeff silently shook his head.

"Loss of words for once?" She walked closer to him, saying, "...Are you finally sick of lying, Jeff Winger?" she raised one eyebrow at him.

He didn't say anything.

Evil Annie shook her head, smiling, "Of course you aren't. You're probably lying to yourself at this very moment."

Evil Britta's eyes widened, suddenly she saw Evil Troy--with a rag in hand--walk with slow steps behind Evil Abed.

Evil Jeff realized what Evil Troy was about to do and suddenly said, "Annie, you aren't a villain."

"What? Of course I am. I'm Evil Annie," she shrugged, smiling with a slight laugh, "I just put a cigarette butt out on your hand and-and-"

"And I'm evil too," he shrugged, "Wouldn't that make what you're doing somewhat moral?"

"He's right, Annie. You even said you were giving Jeff the 'vigilante justice he deserves,'" Evil Britta said. Her eyes watched Evil Troy creep up behind Evil Abed, "You couldn't even smoke a cigarette."

"But-but, that's just a trope I was trying to embrace! I" Evil Annie crinkled her forehead, "I'm-I'm-"

"You almost tripped over Britta's chair when you were trying to torment her," Evil Jeff added.

"And still can't say dirty words," Evil Britta smirked.

"I can too!" Annie said.

"Then say 'masturbate,'" Evil Britta smirked.

"Ma-ma...I don't... want to," Evil Annie said with nonchalance.

"Also what if the audience is too sympathetic to you?" Evil Britta asked.

"Audience?" Evil Jeff looked over at Evil Britta, as only--from the Dark Study Group--Evil Britta, Evil Abed and Evil Annie, knew they were characters.

Evil Britta widened her eyes and gave him a slight nod, "Annie, what if the audience is cheering for you to take Our Jeff out because of all the horrible things he was going to do to you and your Prime Counterpart?"

Evil Annie's face dropped. “That’s it!” she screamed and then calmed herself to say, “Abed. Tie Jeff back in the chair.” 

“Annie?” Evil Abed gave Evil Annie an incredulous look. “We said we wouldn’t do that and--” 

“Do it,” she said through gritted teeth, glaring at him. 

Evil Abed ordered Evil Jeff--at gunpoint--to sit back in the chair.  Evil Jeff obliged with caution. 

“An-annie, what are you gonna do?” Evil Britta asked. “Because-because whatever it is--you-you don’t want to do it.” 

“Stop trying to therapize me--If it’s good enough for Tarantino, it’s good enough for me,” Evil Annie said. 

“Annie!” Evil Troy squeaked as he hid the chloroformed rag behind his back, “You don’t wanna--” 

“Didn’t I tell you to shut it, Troy?”  Evil Annie took out Britta’s knife and flipped open the blade, “Jeff, ever listen to _Real Neil’s Easy Listening Hour of the Nineties_?” 

Evil Jeff’s eyes widened when he realized the movie Evil Annie was referencing. “Annie--” 

“Eh-eh, Jeff...Please be quiet. Wouldn’t wanna to ruin the homage, would we?” She giggled to herself, “I didn’t think so.” 

“Annie, this isn’t a movie!” Evil Jeff said. 

“Well, it is a TV show,” Evil Britta said. 

“Britta, not helping!” Evil Troy said with the donald duck-like voice he was cursed with. 

Evil Britta’s eyes widened as she realized that Troy knew what was going on with the nature of their universe. 

“Troy! Britta! Like, everyone has to shut up for this to work! Dammit!” Evil Annie shook her head and walked over to the switch that powered the announcement speakers so she could broadcast music from Greendale’s Radio Station. She smirked at Evil Jeff and said, “This one’s my personal favorite.” 

_“Hello Human Beings. This is 'Real Neil’s Easy Listening Hour of the Nineties,' where you’re favorite nineties hits are played---If it was my choice I’d be playing Zeppelin, but research shows that a majority of Greendale’s student population’s lives started to go downhill in the nineties , cough, cough Britta Perry, cough, cough--”_

“He didn’t even put in the effort to use a real fake cough,” Evil Britta said, shaking her head.  

_“So taste your buds on these ear-pops-- It’s ‘Steal My Sunshine,’ by Len---Also the Dean would like me to inform you all that himself, along with Pierce Hawthorne and a Pizza guy that looks a lot like Ben Folds are looking for Jeff Winger. Jeff Winger, please contact the Dean. Also, Pierce says that he wants his phone back from Britta---Dude, does anyone else hate that all of the announcements involve these people? ”_

_Steal My Sunshine_ began to play. 

“I guess that will do,” Evil Annie shrugged. 

“Annie!” Evil Jeff yelled as he began to rock back and forth in his chair, “You are not cutting my ear off to  _Steal My Sunshine_!” 

Evil Annie rolled her eyes and asked, “Why not?” 

“Because it’s stupid!” Evil Jeff said, “Even ask Abed!” 

“Abed?” Evil Annie tilted her head at Evil Abed. 

“He’s right,”Evil  Abed nodded, “Song choice is key.” 

“But we don’t have time to wait for a better song!” Evil Annie said. 

 “Also, If anyone is the Mr. Blonde of this group--it’s Shirley,” Evil Abed said as he looked over at Shirley passed out in the corner of the room, “And she’s passed out. Sorry, Annie.” 

Evil Britta nodded, “I could definitely see her singing, dancing and maniacally cutting off Jeff’s ear.” 

“No one is cutting off my ear!” Evil Jeff yelled. 

“No. No,” Evil Annie shook her head, “This i _s_ happening! Abed, watch Britta while I do this!” She started to do an awkward dance. 

“Come on,” Evil Britta mocked her, “I could dance better than that. Just face it, Annie. You’re not Evil.” 

“Well, I’m sorry this isn’t up to your standards, Britta!” Evil Annie glared at her, “But as it was previously noted, I’m not the Mr. Blonde of this group!” Evil Annie shook her head, “Fuck it. I’ll skip that part.” She walked over to Evil Jeff, tied up in the chair, and sat back on his lap. She took the blade of the knife and slid the dull part of the knife across his cheek. “Okay, wasn’t expecting that,” she said, looking down at Jeff’s lap, “Are being turned on by this? That’s really fucked up, Jeff. I’m about to cut your ear off.” 

“No,” Evil Jeff shook his head, “You’re not about to cut my ear off and do you know why?” 

Evil Britta saw Evil Troy put the rag over Evil Abed's mouth--subduing him with the chloroform. Evil Troy quietly lay Evil Abed on the floor and began to creep up behind Evil Annie.

Evil Jeff continued, "Annie, you're not evil. You don't want to kill me and Britta, even if we are," he restrained himself from being sarcastic, "'fictional characters.' I care about the decisions you make and do you know why?"

Evil Annie shook her head as she got up off Jeff’s lap and dropped the knife on the floor. 

"It’s because four years ago, some eighteen year old girl jumped out of the bushes like a breakfast cereal mascot to tell me about how much of a selfish, manipulative ass I was--without even realizing that she herself was just as guilty as I was. When I saw the look of realization on your face before you glared at me and walked away--still insisting you were taking the moral high ground--I thought to myself, we're the same. But here's the thing, Annie. You don't want to be like me. No one wants to be like me. You don't want to manipulate people. You don't want have to win every time. And you don't have to--wait--no, shouldn't ever be responsible for fixing any other person, besides your own self. I don't want you to end up like me or like Britta because we're too broken. There's still hope for you, for Troy, for Abed and even for Shirley--but for me, it’s too late for me. I threw my chances out the window when I organized this entire plan. You're not evil, Annie and you're not insane--you're sad, scared, and angry and you have every right to feel this way. I'm sorry. I just wanted everything to work out for Our Study Group, but I was too selfish..."

"See, Annie," Evil Britta began, "you aren't a villain and--"

Evil Annie stomped on the ground, "No! I was supposed to be the unexpected villain! It’s what my character is supposed to do!People were supposed to assume that I was insane and void of all feeling! They were supposed to think that Jeff was going to manipulate me and that I was his minion, then I was supposed to come out of nowhere and take over everything! People aren't supposed to be sympathetic towards me! I was supposed to be like Leslie Neilson in _Creepshow_! John Goodman in _Barton Fink_! Angela Lansbury in _The Manchurian Candidate_! ...And umm, Abed, help me out," She turned and looked behind her to see Evil Troy with the rag.

Evil Troy paused, gave her a wide fake smile, and hid the rag behind his back.

"Troy? What the hell? You were going to save them?" Evil Annie asked with wide eyes.

"Annie, you went way too far!" Evil Troy said.

She began to break down as she frowned; tears forming in her eyes, "Why does everyone have to lie to me and tell me what to do! Yeah, Annie, Dad is just going on a business trip--he'll be back if do well in school. Nope, he didn't come back! Take these pills, Annie, they'll help you study! They did, but only for a short while! Or Jeff, I'm going to kiss you, Annie, and lead you on and then just ignore you! Or Jeff again! I'm gonna get you out of the mental hospital, Annie, but wait-- no, I need to fuck Britta for nine months first!" She took the gun out of her sweater, pointed it at Troy, and backed away, “Why is it that everyone here--except Abed--is against me! Thinking I'm some naive child who can just be manipulated at their will! Well, guess what?," she asked before screaming, "I'm not a child!" 

"Then stop acting like one," a female voice behind Evil Annie said.

Evil Annie turned around to see her Prime counterpart walking towards her; with a gun in hand. 

"What the hell?" Annie said with her arms crossed. She looked at the switchblade on the floor and then at Evil Jeff tied up. Her mouth dropped open in disgust. “Oh my God! Evil Annie, were you really going to cut Evil Jeff’s ear off?” 

“What?” Evil Annie said as she casually stepped on the knife to obscure it from view. “No. No. Of course not. I was--I was--cutting him free?” 

“Don’t even bother trying to lie. I know the higherthe pitch of your voice gets, the less truthful the words coming out of your mouth are...What are you doing? These guys are your friends!"Annie said. 

Evil Annie pointed towards herself, "I'm getting revenge for us! Do you know what he was going to do to you?"

"Is it really because of me? Or is it because you are still upset about the whole Britta thing?" Annie asked, raising her eyebrows. 

"Britta thing?" Evil Annie shrugged, crinkling her forehead. She laughed nervously while saying, “I don’t know what world you live in but there’s--there’s no 'Britta thing.'” 

"Don't pretend you don't understand what I'm talking about," Annie narrowed her eyes at her Evil Counterpart.

"I loved him!" Evil Annie yelled back. Her voice cracked into a high pitched whimper.

"No, you didn't," Annie said calmly as she shook her head and walked closer to her counterpart. “You don’t love him, Annie.” 

"How would you know?" Evil Annie asked back, with discontent.

Then Abed, Troy and Shirley came through the walls of the Dreamatorium.

"How would I know?" Annie rose one eyebrow at her Evil counterpart, "Trust me, I know." Annie paused for a moment, and noticed that Jeff and Britta had not passed through the Dreamatorium yet. She continued with a soft voice, "You see him everyday, sitting just one chair, one chair away. You can smell his cologne--knowing what mood he is in by the scent he decides on that morning. You look up over your notes, hoping that for just one second, your eyes will meet his and your heart will flutter. You wonder... does his heart do the same thing? It’s always there though--the thought that it will never work out and it scares and excites you. You know after taking that one step forward it will not end well--as does he. So he stays distant and it makes you think-- he protects you this way. This way you'll never get close enough to actually feel it for real. The feeling of this deep connection you long for from him, but you fear he could never be that way with you because he-he couldn't even share the most important thing that ever happened to him with you," Annie shook her head, still continuing her soft tone, "No, he shared it with Britta. And despite it all, you cant help it and still yearn for something that will never truly exist-- no matter what he tells you..." she paused again before saying, "That is how I know. It’s _not_ love. You long for something that can never happen. You long for an idea--an idea of perfection, but," she smiled as tears fell from her eyes, "perfection doesn't exist."

Everyone in the room remained silent, as Evil Annie placed her gun on the floor and ran into her Prime Counterpart's arms for an embrace. Evil Annie cried into Annie's sweater.

"You're right," Evil Annie said between her tears, "I'm so sorry. I just want to go home. I was-I was just playing a part. It was just a part. They wrote me that way. They made me think I loved him."

“I know. I know,” Annie said as she patted her counterpart on the back. 

Jeff and Britta came through the Dreamatorium’s white portal.

"Did we really miss everything?" Jeff asked.

Britta smiled, "We came at the exact moment we should have."

Annie said, "Untie Dark Britta, wake Dark Shirley and Dark Abed up. Keep Evil Jeff in his chair... We can't afford to trust him."

"And Abed said pacifism doesn't work," Jeff tilted his head over at Abed.

"In my defense, for once I didn't know what was going to happen," Abed said then smiled at Britta.

"Do we have break the Dreamatorium once we send them over be-cause I would, like, really, really like to return to the timeline where Annie and Britta are-" Troy began to ask.

"Yes, we do," Jeff interrupted, "I'm not risking one of them coming over here again."

Jeff walked up to his counterpart in the chair and asked, "Why?"

“Why did you crawl through a freaking air-vent to get here?” Evil Jeff asked. 

Jeff looked his counterpart in the eyes and said, “To save my friends.” 

“Exactly,” Evil Jeff said. 

Evil Britta walked over to Britta and said, "Why didn't you change it-- so you could be with him?” 

Britta shrugged, “I’m not so sure, but at the same time...I’m glad I did what I did instead."

"What the fuck does that even mean? Like, seriously, why didn't you ask him? You were right there," Evil Britta tilted her head at Britta.

"It's the Prime Timeline for a reason," Britta responded, "I'm not taking everyone's happiness away for my own selfish reasons.

Abed bent over his counterpart on the floor. He leaned down and whispered something inaudible into his counterpart's ear.

Evil Abed opened his eyes and nodded.

Troy walked over to Evil Troy and said, "Is talking like a robot as awesome as it seems?"

Evil Troy shook his head, "No, dude it seriously sucks. Like you know that awesome sound your voice makes when you talk into fans?"

"Yeah," Troy nodded.

"It doesn't work for me," Evil Troy said.

Shirley walked over to Evil Shirley, who was sleeping in the corner of the room. She kicked Evil Shirley's leg, causing her to wake up. Shirley put her hands on her waist and said, "Really? You slept through the entire thing? Lettin' Jeff do whatever he wants? Not stoppin' Britta from changing sides every ten minutes? Not calming Annie down when she went off the deep end? Not helpin' Troy stop everything when things went too far! You're a disgrace!"

"I'm-I'm sorry," Evil Shirley murmured.

"Now, you go back there and get your life together!" Shirley shook her head, "Your kids need you. The group needs you."

Annie walked up to Evil Jeff and said, her voice controlled, yet demanding, "Go to your Timeline and never come back, because if you do... I will make you wish that you were never created."

"Like I'm afraid of some school-girl in a dress?" Evil Jeff laughed back at her.

"You think she's scary?" Annie gestured towards her Evil counterpart, "Because that's only a short preview of what I'm capable of and just so you know I'm not embarrassed to say dirty words."

Evil Jeff tilted his head at her, "Fine, we'll go back." Evil Britta untied Evil Jeff. He left his chair and picked up his prosthetic arm from the floor.

Evil Abed stood up immediately and grabbed Evil Annie's hand to drag her back into the Dark Timeline.

Then the Prime Study Group watched the rest of Evil Study Group leave and go through the Dreamatorium wall.

"What are we doing down here?" Everyone heard a voice say from the stairwell.

"Pierce! I told you! They're having a party for Jeffrey and leaving me out!"the Dean said. 

"Leaving you out? I'm the one who is part of the group! You just have some weird, creepy fascination with Winger!" Pierce appeared from the stairwell entrance with the Dean and said, "Damn it! You guys had an adventure without me! Didn't you?"

"Why would you say that?" Shirley said with a sweet voice.

"Well, there are guns laying on the floor for no reason! Troy looks too happy! Ay-bed is standing next to a chloroformed rag! Brittles is dressed like a streetwalking hippy! Winger took his dress shirt off, insisting that its to mimic an action hero, but we all really know he's trying to impress some male lover! And Annie has changed her outfit about three times to the point where it’s really confusing!"

"Isn't looking for your cell phone a big enough adventure for you?" Jeff asked Pierce.

"Oh yeah, Brittles! You give that back to me!"

"I don't have it," Britta sighed, "Jeff does."

Jeff took the cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to Pierce and said, "Pierce, we are not having a party and you didn't miss anything, well, anything that really matters."

"Really?" Pierce asked.

"Really," Jeff nodded back with a smile. He turned to everyone else in the room and said, "Now, I think we have a test to study for."

* * *

**The Prime Timeline**

**The Study room**

**5:15pm**

The Study Group sat at the table with their books opened--except Annie, who was playing a game on her phone.

Jeff opened his book at the study table, stared at it for a moment and said, "Ok-ay, is it me or does studying not seem really important right now?'

Everyone began to mutter to themselves.

"Really, it doesn't," Troy shrugged, "Like it's just a test."

"What if we fail?" Pierce asked, "Then we have to listen to Winger bitch about how much he hates it here for another semester."

"I never said I hated it here," Jeff said.

"Sometimes, actions speak louder than words, Jeff," Annie said condescendingly as she appeared to be playing a game on her phone.

Jeff smiled back at her, "And sometimes actions are lies, just like words can be. What are you really doing on that phone?"

"I'm playing Angry Birds because--like I said earlier--I'm takin' it easy. See I've dropped my 'G's again."

"Okay, Annie, whatever you say," Jeff smirked at her.

Annie narrowed her eyes at him and then began to type on her phone again.

"I don't know about you guys," Britta said, "But I feel like I've been to hell and back and-"

"You look like you've been to hell and back," Pierce said.

Britta rolled her eyes and continued, "And I really just want to go home, see my cats and take a nap."

"I wanna see my kids," Shirley said.

"I agree with Britta," Abed said, "I think we'll be okay."

“So can we leave now?” Troy asked. 

“Yeah,” Jeff said, “Honestly, I don’t want to waste my time here anymore than I have to. 

Everyone began to get up and leave the room-- except Annie, who stayed in her seat.

"Annie, are you coming?" Abed.

"Um, I'm gonna stay here for a while," she nodded, "I'll see you guys back at the apartment."

 They all went their separate ways in the hallway. Jeff walked next to Britta and said, "Nothing happened. I mean--with, you know... Why didn't you have him do anything about it."

"Oh, I did, just wait," Britta weakly smiled back at him.

"Then why are you trying to hide your sadness?"

"I am not," she rebutted.

"Why didn't you make it all work out for you? Abed told me what you did--where you went."

"Because this isn't some Shakespearean comedy or some Jane Austen satire, and this isn't your average sitcom and this--us, you and me-- isn't going to be a deus ex machina, even though we've had like three of them happen in the last two scenes. Not everyone needs to be paired off because that's not what equals happiness," Britta laughed to herself, "Sometimes there are loose ends and unhappy endings. Sometimes the blonde shouldn't end up with anyone because, really, how cliche is that?" she laughed and walked ahead of him.

"Britta--wait," Jeff said.

She turned around and asked, "What?"

“You’re not gonna stay in Greendale--now that we have free-will...Are you?

She shrugged and said, “Honestly, I’m not completely sure.”

“Are you gonna go back--to the Real World?” 

"Maybe--but if I do, I'll come back when you need me, Jeff" she replied, "Like I said, you'll know where to find me and like you said, I'm the dark cloud that unites us. When we all need each other again, I'll be back."

"Good luck," he smiled back at her, then turned around, walking down the opposite end of the hallway. Jeff stopped. He faced her and said, “Wait, Britta."

“What?" she asked, "This is the longest goodbye in the history of character-kind.'

"I love you," he said.  

"I know," she said with a smirk, "Otherwise, Jeff, you wouldn't have let me leave with the upper hand," then she walked away and started to open the doors to the parking lot.

"I didn't give you the upper hand!" he said.

"I gave you an Ipod with real music on it--not some background music! Which was supposed to represent how I feel for you--which gave you the upper hand. Now I'm walking off into the sunset because I'm sexy and mysterious like that and you just told me you loved me. I now have the upper hand. See around, Jeff." Britta left and went out into the parking lot.

Jeff went through the door--following her. Britta turned around and said, "Why are you following me?"

"I'm not. My car is in this lot."

"Oh," Britta replied.

"Damn it," Jeff sighed.

"Forget something?" Britta smirked at him, then walked down the library steps.

"Did you take it?" Jeff asked, "Did you take my phone?"

Britta turned around. Walking backward, she said sadly, "I think you left it in the study room." She turned forward and continued walking to her car.

Jeff started to walk back into the library. He turned around for a brief moment and waited to see if she was going to stop and come back, but she didn't. She kept walking.  

* * *

 

**The Dark Timeline**

**Jeff Winger's Apartment**

**3:15pm**

The Evil Study Group entered back into their own Timeline and into their familiar living room at Evil Jeff's apartment.

Evil Abed held Evil Annie-- his arm around her waist--and immediately directed her down the hall and into Evil Jeff and Evil Britta's room.

“What's up with him?"Evil Britta asked Evil Troy.

Evil Troy shrugged and said, "He's probably mad at us for not fully committing and for Jeff ruining the whole plan."

There was a pounding on the front door. Evil Jeff tilted his head at it, walked up to it, and opened it.

In Jeff's bedroom, Evil Annie stood silent as she watched Evil Abed run to the window.

"Fuck. There's police out there," Evil Abed muttered to himself. He turned around and looked at Evil Annie to say, "You need to hide," he walked up to her to grasp her shoulders and said, "I'm not letting them take you back there. I promise you, Annie.” 

Then the bedroom door opened. Evil Jeff came into the room and said with a calm, stoic voice, "Annie, you have to come into the living room."

Evil Annie's eyes widened as she looked at Abed, "I-I don't want to, Jeff."

"I didn't say if you wanted to," Evil Jeff replied.

Tears began to roll down her face, "Je-jeff, I was just playing a part! I know what's happening, I know- I know- I know it wasn't a hallucination! I-I'm not going to hurt anyone!"

"We all know you didn't think it was a hallucination. That's not the issue here." Evil Jeff grasped Evil Annie by the arm and said, "You can come with me out into the living room or I can have them come and get you. I suggest the former."

"No, Jeff!" Evil Annie pleaded, "Please, don't send me back there. I can't take it in there! I- I know Jeff--I know. Please-please-please don't send me back there! It’s all up to you,” she smiled at him, “You just have to say no!, Please say no, please say no!"

"Annie, you broke all my fingers on my real hand," his mechanical, prosthetic hand grabbed her arm and began to drag her out of the bedroom, down the hall and into the living room. “And tried to cut my ear off.” 

"Jeff! Don't send her back there!" Evil Britta cried, "She didn't mean it! It’s not her fault they made her like that!"

“Please, Jeffrey,” Evil Shirley said, “She-she’s not gonna-gonna--wait did you just say she tried to cut your ear off?” 

"Britta, she just tried to kill us!" Evil Jeff said through gritted teeth.

"But-but we can't die!" Evil Britta said as tears flowed from her eyes.

The police handcuffed Evil Annie and began to take her out of the apartment.

"I'm sorry!" Evil Annie cried, "I-I'm-I'm not insane!"

"I'm sorry, Annie," Evil Jeff said, "But it’s what needs to happen."

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**

**Greendale Community College Parking Lot “A”**

**5:45 pm**

As Britta was about to open her car door, she felt someone grab her shoulder. “Britta, are we doing this? 

She flinched as she saw Starburns and a crowd of people standing behind her. “Wha-you’re supposed to be--what are you--what’s going on?” 

“Occupy Greendale. We’ve been planning this for, like, over a year,” a girl behind Starburns said, “And you finally said you had a plan--that we were going to strike and take over the school before winter break.” 

“Yeah. That--um--thing,” Starburns said as he handed a brown bag to a guy in exchange for some cash. He whispered to Britta,“Don’t say anything, but this group you started has been really good for my business.” 

“No. I’m supposed to get in my car and drive away." Britta shook her head, "Then we cut to the Evil Study Group. Then we cut to Jeff and Annie in the library. And then we cut to the Evil Annie in the asylum and then we fade to--” Britta closed her car door and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and cursed, “Holy shit...He’s still writing.” 


	12. Introduction to Soft Determinism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Britta and Abed try to figure out if they have free will or if the Creator is still writing. 
> 
> Meanwhile, complications arise in the Dark Timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there will be 13 chapters instead of 12 to accomodate this insane idea I became a bit carried away with.

**The Dark Timeline**  
**Riverside Psychiatric Hospital**  
**4:45PM**

“So, Annie, I’ve heard you had another episode.” Dr. Georges said with a weak smile.

Evil Annie curled up on the chair and hugged her knees. She looked down at the white, tiled floor and then at Dr. Georges.

“Now, Annie, you have to speak. I know you can.” He started to write something on his notepad. “You were speaking before Mr. Winger had you released.” He stood up and took out a notepad and a pen out of his leather bag. Annie sat up. Her eyebrows rose at the sight of the notepad. “Do you want to write a letter to your friend?” He tilted his head at her. “I know you want to talk to him.”

She sucked on her lower lip, thinking. Her eyes focused on the ceiling. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Interesting,” he said, putting the notebook and pen on the floor in front of her. He sat back in the chair and started writing in his notebook. “Your mother called.”

Evil Annie tilted her head at Dr. Georges.

“She misses you.”

Evil Annie sighed.

“Do you want to see her, Annie?”

She looked at the ground again, unsure.

“I can arrange for her, along with your friend, to be put on your guest list.”

Evil Annie looked at him with a dead stare.

“All you have to do is start speaking again.”

She looked down at the ground and shook her head.

“Annie.” He stood up from his chair and walked over to her; kneeling down. He held her chin with his fingers and gently pulled her gaze to his. “Why wont you speak? Once you speak, we can let you go back to Mr.Winger and Ms. Perry.”

She forced a smile at Dr.Georges and opened her mouth slightly. After a moment of thought, her lips curled back into a close.

“Okay, Annie.” He stood up and walked toward the door. “But I’ve heard you--speaking that is.”

She turned around in her chair and looked at him.

“You’ve been singing--in your room.‘We’ll be roped up, tied up, dead in a year?’ You sing it all the time.” He smiled at her and waited to see if she would respond. “Just tell me what happened, Annie. I think you would know how we handle selective mutism here. You’re smart enough to know. By the end of the month, you’ll be going home anyway--so you might as well just speak ”

Evil Annie sighed, “I’m not a psychotic.”

“Then why do you behave like one?”

“If I told you, you would just keep me here longer.”

“Thank you,” Dr. Georges smiled.

“You get enough for you stupid book you’re probably writing about this?” Annie stood up. tears filled her eyes. “The complete psychiatric profile of a mentally deranged former honor student. The pressure was too much for her after the death of her friend. The survivor’s guilt caused her to start abusing Adderall again. Then she took took many pills at once. Her brain has apparently been damaged to the point where she has become an irreversible schizophrenic psychotic--even when not on the pills-- who believes she’s a character on a television show and her actions do not carry any consequences. This caused her to stab several pharmacists to fuel her addiction.” She forced a smile at him and changed her tone one with cheery sarcasm. “Dr. Roderick Georges will be appearing on _The Today Show_ this morning to discuss the details of his new book and how he has helped Miss Edison overcome her psychotic decomposition and become a semi-functioning member of society who poses no danger to others. You can buy _The Annie of It All:Portrait of a Damaged Mind_ at any major book retailers for $22.99.”

“Is that true, Annie?”

“That you should be charging $22.99? Because I think that may be a a bit too expensive. Don’t you?”

“No. Not that.”

“Then what?”

“That you now pose no danger to others? Do you no longer want to hurt Ms. Perry?”

“If I did, then I would be doing her a favor. I’d be doing all of us a favor.” Annie said, glaring at him. “And I can’t do her any favors. Don’t you understand? I can’t make it stop no matter how hard I try.”

“Stop what?”

“The music.” She shook her head, “The music is never going to stop and I’m stuck like this forever.” She then started to sob uncontrollably. 

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**The Study Room**  
**5:30pm**

  
Jeff walked into the study room and saw Annie with a notebook and papers scattered all over the table.

"I knew it!"Jeff exclaimed. “You are studying!”

Annie looked up from her notes and rolled her eyes. She focused back on her notebook and said, “Fine. You caught me. Big deal. What do you want a medal or something? **”**

“No, but a congratulations may be necessary. No, but really, I just came here for my phone. Have you seen it?"

She looked on the floor and pointed, "There it is."

Jeff bent down and got his phone. As he stood up, his eyes met Annie's as she looked down at him from her seat. He smiled at her and said, "You really care about getting an ‘A’ still? Whatever happened to the whole perfection doesn’t exist thing?"

Annie shrugged. She sat back in her seat and folded her arms. Shaking her head, she said,”I’m not entirely sure. I mean, is giving up the best thing to do? I mean, is soupy, melted ice-cream really any good? Because I always throw mine out.”

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**A Greendale Hallway**  
**5:45 pm**

  
Britta charged through the glass doors of the library as she frantically texted Abed on her cellphone. Her Totarola began to overheat and started sparking.“Shit!” she yelled as her fingers became burned. “Damn you!” She dropped the phone on the ground and continued running through the library.She spotted Vicki trying to check out a book at the front desk. Britta ran up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, “Vicki,” Britta said, gasping, “Have you seen Abed?”

“Nope,” Vicki shook her head.

“Okay, um--thanks,” Britta said before she darted away.

“But if you see Pierce,” Vicki yelled back, “tell him that I’m gonna make sure he’s never allowed in the metal shop again!”

Britta turned back and yelled, “What the hell does that even mean?” While she wasn’t looking, she collided into another person and fell on the ground. Laying next to her was a pizza box--half a mushroom pizza fell out of the box and was on the blue library carpet.

“Dammit,” she heard a voice say, “I’m gonna have to pay for that.” She looked up at the pizza guy standing over her. “Oh, shit. Are you okay?”he asked.

Britta’s eyes widened. She covered her mouth with both hands and shook her head. Her hands ruffled through her hair. “You-you’re-you’re...” she couldn’t continue.

“Wow.” The pizza guy looked down at her, “You look like Elisabeth Shue.” He offered his hand to help her up.

“No. No, no, no!” she waved her arms at him. “Ben Folds! What the fuck are you doing here?”

* * *

 

**The Study Room**  
**5:35pm**

  
Jeff stood up with his cellphone in his tight grip. He looked Annie in her blue eyes. “You seem different.”

She smiled and nodded slightly. “I do. Don’t I? I don’t know how to--how to explain it.” She laughed and took his hand in hers, “It’s like all of a sudden--right when Abed and Britta came back--I felt, like, I don’t really know how to explain it. I mean, when I went back to Our Timeline and saw Evil Annie--a version of-of myself--behaving like, like... that. I mean, I saw the pain in her face. She--she could have been...”

“Annie, I don’t think you’d ever try to cut my ear off.”

“You don’t?” she let out half a laugh and shook her head.

“No,” Jeff grinned. “Well, maybe, most likely, probably not.”

* * *

 

**The Dark Timeline**  
**Jeff Winger’s Apartment**  
**3:00AM**

  
Evil Jeff sleepily meandered down the hallway. He rubbed his eye with his real hand and navigated toward the kitchen. Before stepping off the wooden floor of the living room area and onto the tiled floor of the kitchen, he stopped in place and tilted his head toward the mahogany bunk beds. Evil Britta was smoking a cigarette out the window. The illumination from the streetlights outlined her silhouette in the otherwise dark room.

Evil Jeff walked over to her and whispered, “What are you doing up?”

She dabbed out her cigarette and released the smoke in her lungs out the window, “They haven’t broken it yet.” She nudged her head toward the cardboard Dreamatorium in the middle of the room.

“We’re not going back there.”

“I never said anything about there.” She blew smoke out of her lungs, and said, “We could leave...Together.”

Evil Jeff looked down at the lower bunk. It was empty. “Where’s Abed.”

Evil Britta lit up another cigarette, the radiance of the lighter allowing Jeff to see her eyes roll. She inhaled. The smoke left her nose and created a cloud around her head. “Where do you think Abed is?” He saw her silhouetted head tilt back at him; the gesture stating the obvious.

Jeff rushed to the coat closet and grabbed his coat; trying to put it on with one arm. Britta turned around, leaned against the window and took a drag from her cigarette.

“A little help, here?” Jeff asked with frustration.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She dabbed her cigarette out in the overfilled ashtray.

“I think it’s pretty obvious.”

She walked up to him, took his coat, and put it back in the closet.

“Um, excuse me? It’s like three degrees out.”

“You’re not going after them.” Britta said.

He glared back at her, “Fine, I’ll freeze then.” He walked over to the kitchen counter and looked for the keys.

“Looking for something?” She waved the keys at him. The clanking of the metal key and the key-chains woke Troy, who sat up in his top bunk.

“What’s going on?” Troy squeaked as he rubbed his eyes.

“Nothing, Troy,” Britta said without removing her eyes from Jeff. “Go back to sleep.”

“Give. Me. The. Keys. Britta,” Jeff said, his teeth gritted.

“No,” Britta said, hiding the keys behind her back.

He walked toward her; causing her to back up.

Britta felt her back meet the wall. It was as far away as she could get.

Jeff cornered her and shook his head, “Whatever happened to sticking together? To reclaiming our former lives? I mean, we’re not a group without Abed and Annie, right? Don’t you want to help Annie?”

She shook her head, terrified, “She’s not getting the help she needs in that hospital. She’s your prisoner, Jeff. You know that.”

“She was always my prisoner, Britta. She was my prisoner the second we kissed at the debate. I think we both know that.”

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**A Greendale Hallway**  
**5:35 PM**

Britta stood up and looked at the sky, “No Ben Folds! We agreed. No Ben Folds!”

“What?” The pizza guy laughed nervously, “I’m not singer-composer-songwriter-badass-piano-playing Ben Folds. That would be--”

“Drop the act, dude.” Britta narrowed her eyes at him, “Who sent you? Was it the Creator?”

“The what? I’m just here because I’ve been cast in a musical-romantic-comedy as the pizza guy who makes the main character guy go after the girl that he loves.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“I thought I just obviously explained that I’m researching a role.”

“In Greendale, Colorado?”

“Yeah.”

Britta crinkled her forehead in confusion and said, “I gotta go...”

“Wait! Could I get your, um, number or something?”

Her eyes widened, “No. No! You stay away--far away--from me!”

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**The Study Room**  
**5:37 PM**

Jeff’s eyes looked into Annie’s and he brushed her hair away from her face, "You saved us today."

“I never would have been able to if you never had crawled through the air-vents. You’re the hero of this story, Jeff.”

“Am I?”

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**A Greendale Hallway**  
**5:37 PM**

Britta ran down the hallways. Her wedged boots clacked on the tiles of the hallway. “Abed?” she yelled, “Abed! Abed! Has anyone seen Abed?”

As she sped by Leonard and Magnitude, Leonard said, “Those guys are always having some sort of drama worse than _Titanic_.”

“Shut up, Leonard! You should know, you were there!” Britta yelled back, “and I know you laced Duncan’s coffee with laxatives!”

“I meant the Cameron Picture!” Leonard said.

She turned a corner and saw professor Whitman skipping down the hallway. “Seizing the day, Miss Perry?”

“Have you seen Abed Nadir?”

“The kid who makes those movies?”

“Yeah, him.”

“No. Can’t say I have. However, just keep in mind as you run--There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.”

“I don’t get it.”

He shrugged, “I don’t either.”

She sighed and continued to desperately search the classrooms for Abed. She leaned against the lockers and closed her eyes as she sulked down and sat on the floor. “Abed? Please, Abed where the fuck are you?”

* * *

 

**The Dark Timeline**  
**Jeff Winger’s Apartment**  
**3:05 AM**

“We need to just let them go,” Evil Britta whispered.

“We can’t,” Evil Jeff said.

“Hasn’t she been through enough?”

“You’re just jealous that--”

“Jeff,” she interrupted, “you know that’s not it.”

Evil Jeff didn’t say a word.

“Aren’t you sick of hating yourself?” she asked.

“Aren’t you sick of living like this?”

“Of course I am.” Her eyes began to blink, holding back the tears, as she looked up at the ceiling. She focused her gaze to Jeff and placed her hand on his cheek, “Let them go. Please just forget about it. Forget about it. Forget it. Please, Jeff--”

“You’re not the fucking moral compass!” he swatted her hand away and pinned her against the wall. His real hand restrained her wrists above her head as his body crushed hers into the wall. He whispered into her ear, “Maybe Annie was right? Maybe I should just kill you so we don’t have to deal with this kind of shit anymore.”

“Go ahead,” Britta gasped, “Go ahead and kill me, but I’ll always be here, Jeff. You kill me and we get sent back and for the love of God, please do it. I can’t take this cycle anymore.”

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**The Study Room**  
**5:40 PM**

“Everyone’s the hero of their own story -- well, that was extremely cheesy,” Annie smiled.

“No,” Jeff shook his head, “I think that’s true.” He walked closer to her and looked down at her in chair. He towered over her.

Annie stood up on the chair to look him in the eyes. She fixed the collar of his red Prada shirt and said, “Jeff?”

“Yeah?”

“I like being friends, don’t you?” she asked like it was a secret he would only understand. 

He nodded, understanding, “Of course.”

She smiled weakly and grasped his hand to pull him closer to her. She looked at their hands laced together and sucked on her bottom lip in contemplation.

* * *

**The Prime Timeline**

**A Greendale Hallway**

**5:40 PM**

  
Sulking on the floor, Britta sighed. She didn’t know what to do. Were her choices her own? Why wasn’t she barging in on Jeff and Annie in the Study Room? She looked up to see Professor Duncan coming out of the men’s room.

He muttered to himself, “Not ever mixing cheap coffee with whiskey again.” He looked at her with a worried expression and looked down both ends of the empty hallway, “Hmm, I should probably do something. I took an oath...or at least I think I took an oath. Details are fuzzy.” He walked over to Britta and cleared his throat, “Miss Perry are you--”

“Oh, hey Duncan.” Britta said. “Where have you been?”

“In my office, of course.”

“For two years?”

He shrugged, “I guess so. It was quite a long time, wasn’t it?”

“Have you seen Abed?”

“No. Can’t say I have.”

“Great.”

“You look a bit depressed.”

“Aren’t you observant.”

“Look. I’m just trying to help, here.” He looked at her for an awkward pause and asked, “Would you like to, um, come back to my office with me? We could chat or, I dunno, do more than chat?”

“More than chat?” Britta tilted her head at him, “I don’t think so.” She stood up and sighed. “Duncan, if you were Abed, where would you be?”

“I don’t want to get into Abed’s head. I’ll end up like Will Graham. Seeing weird images of antlers everywhere.”

“Abed’s not a serial killer.” Britta said.

“What’s I’m saying,” Duncan said, “is that I wouldn’t want to get into that kid’s head. it would be an abyss of, I dunno, _Fawlty Towers_ episodes and _Inspector Spacetime_.”

“That’s it! He’s breaking the Dreamatorium!” Britta darted away, down the hallway.

“My office door is always open!” Duncan yelled back.

* * *

 

**The Dark Timeline**  
**Riverside Psychiatric Hospital**  
**3:15 AM**

  
Evil Annie sat on her bed--staring at the bare, cement, ivory walls of her dark room. Her eyes were wide open, yet tired. A tapping on her window echoed off her concrete surroundings. She got out of bed, covered in white sheets, looked up at the window and smiled. Her bare feet met with the cold floor; taking her across the room.

She stood on the lone desk, careful to not slip on her hospital gown, opened the window, and held on to the steel bars; feeling the cool, December breeze from outdoors blowing her hair away from her pallid face. While sucking on her bottom lip, her eyes filled with tears. She said, her voice faint, "Abed... I was hoping you would come."

"I brought the bone saw," he said with a nod, "I'm going to get you out of here. You'll never have to come back."

She reached out through the bars and grasped his hand in hers, bringing it up to her lips and kissing it, "You're the only one that cares about me, Abed."

Evil Abed took out the bone saw and cut through the two bars on her window. He grabbed Evil Annie's hands, pulling her through the window. When she got to the other side, they stood on part of the roof to the hospital. Evil Abed helped her down to the ground, grasped her hand and pulled her as he ran into the woods. After running for a period of time, they arrived in an empty parking lot, where Annie's old car was waiting.

He opened the door, ushering Evil Annie to get into the passenger seat and got into the driver's seat.

She turned to him in the dark, her eyes sunken and tired, to ask, "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere far away from here, somewhere where they’ll never find us," Evil Abed said, grasping her face in her hands.

Evil Annie leaned in, kissed him, and pulled away to say, "Never?"

"Never," he said, nodding to assure her, "I won't let him hurt you ever again."

"Do we still have to act evil?"

"Not if you don't want to."

Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head. She said with a high-pitched whimper, "I don't."

"We won't be," he said to her with a soothing, reassuring voice, "We won't have to be like that ever again. We're going to make our own light in this timeline."

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**The Study Room**  
**5:42 PM**

  
“I meant what I said, you know? Earlier in the Dark Timeline. On the bed.” Annie said. Her eyes looked at him like he ruined the moment they had earlier together in the Dark Timeline.

“I know.” Jeff nodded.

“But you didn’t hear my speech to Evil Annie, did you?”

Jeff shook his head. He was about to open his mouth, but Annie interrupted, “We’re supposed to have free will now.” She allowed her free hand to cup Jeff’s cheek.

* * *

 

**The Prime Timeline**  
**The Air Conditioning Control Room Below the Cafeteria**  
**5:45 PM**

  
Britta ran down the stairs of the Air Conditioning Control Room Below the Cafeteria. She saw Abed standing in front of the large, glowing Dreamatorium.

“Abed,” Britta said, gasping as she caught her breath. He’s still--he’s still doing it. He’s still writing.”

“I know,” Abed said. Without turning around, he asked, “Can I share something with you?”

“Of course.”

“When you think about it, there’s really no such thing as a Dark timeline, is there?” He turned around and faced her, “Life can get dark at any moment. It doesn’t matter if there’s a role of a die. It doesn’t matter if you flip a coin, or boggle something.”

“Boggle creates alternate timelines?”

“That’s not the point, but yes -- depending on what rules you play by.” Abed tilted his head, staring into the white light.

“Is something going on,” Britta gulped, “over there? In the ‘dark,’ timeline.”

Abed nodded.

“We were supposed to get free will and now he’s still writing.”

“But you ran away from the story he wrote for you,” Abed said.

“Good point,” Britta agreed.

“We’re getting our free will, but -- here’s the thing. Most people, most characters, their actions can be predicted in certain scenarios, thus free will is really the same as writing for yourself. Sometimes you would do something in a situation that would be the exact thing the Creator would make you do...”

“Abed! What’s the point of this?”

“You’re a wildcard, Britta. In every timeline. There’s a thousand things you could do in the situation that’s happening over there. I can be sure what Evil Jeff will do, but you... ”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked. Then, out of realization, Britta's eyes looked like they wanted to jump out of her head, "Evil Britta wouldn't after everything we've done?" 

 

* * *

 

  **The Dark Timeline**

**Jeff Winger’s Apartment**

**3:15 AM**

“Do it Jeff!” Evil Britta yelled as the salty tears ran down her cheeks, “Go ahead. Choke me! Don’t be a pussy!”

Evil Troy woke up again. He saw Evil Jeff forcibly pinning Evil Britta against the wall and jumped out of the bunk bed.

“I-I can’t do it,” Evil Jeff said as he loosened his grip slightly.

“Dude! What the hell is going on?” Evil Troy squeaked.

Evil Jeff looked Evil Britta in the eyes. For a moment, all he saw was his reflection in her eyeballs, but once he looked past that and into the blue of her eyes, his eyes began to water and he shook his head, “Britta, I can’t. I can’t I-I...” He let her go. Her feet met with the floor.

“Fine,” Evil Britta shrugged as she sniffed her nose. She walked to the window and opened it. The snow from outdoors flurried inside.

“What-what is she doing?” Evil Troy asked with panic filling his eyes.

On the fire escape, Evil Britta swung her legs over the safety railing. She steadied her feet on the other side of the safety rail, held on, and leaned foreword, but didn’t let go yet. She stared down at the asphalt of the ally disappearing under the wet, packed snow.

“Britta! Stop!” Evil Jeff said, he ran to the window, “Please, don’t. Don’t jump! Don’t let go of the safety rail! I can’t lose you! Britta we're supposed to be in this together. We agreed. We agreed we'd stick together at Pierce's Funeral!”

“Britta don’t make us do it again!” Evil Troy squeaked, “Don’t make us get sent back! I don't want to eat that Norwegian Troll Doll again!”

Her breaths were short and shallow. She turned around, looked back at Evil Jeff and said as her jaw trembled from fear, “We're still bad. We need to restart.”

Then Evil Britta leaned back and let go of the safety bar.

* * *

  **The Prime Timeline**

**The Study Room**

**5:50 PM**

Annie slowly moved her face closer to Jeff’s. Before their lips met, she rested her forehead on his. “What’s stopping us now?” she asked, closing her eyes.

“I don’t know,” Jeff said.

"Or do we?" Annie whispered. She looked at him, worried.  

Jeff could feel her warm breath on his cheek. He closed his eyes and tilted his head as he moved closer to her; gathering her in his arms.

Annie felt her lips gently graze Jeff’s, but as she leaned forward more, there were no lips for hers to land on.

* * *

 

**September 17, 2009 10:45 am- GCC Quad- Before the timeline split.**

Annie found herself standing, surrounded by leaves. A branch scratched her arm, causing her to realize that she was hiding in a bush. “What the...” She pushed a branch away and saw Troy, dressed in a letterman jacket. As she looked down at the conservative blue dress she wore, she gasped, “Oh, my God,” and walked out of the bush.  

Troy looked around in all directions, confused. With his back turned to her, Annie tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped in surprise, “Annie! What the hell! Never in the three times that I’ve-”

“What’s going on?” Annie asked, out of breath and panicked.

Troy’s face dropped to a frown. He crinkled his forehead and said with a calm, dole tone, “We got sent back...”

“Wh-why?” Annie asked as tears began to form in her eyes. “I-I thought Britta fixed it.”

“Do the words, ‘Britta,’ and, ‘fixed it,’ belong together in the same sentence?” Troy asked.

Annie sighed and said, “We need to find the others.”

Troy’s gaze shifted away from the ground. “Britta is usually on the library steps.”

She nodded and they started to walk toward the library.

“What were you doing in that bush?” Troy asked.

Annie rolled her eyes, “Um...It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“I don’t care. I’m not gonna make fun of you or anything.”

She sighed, “I was-I was-I was stalking you so I could enroll in some," she cleared her throat, "all of your classes.”

“Really?” Troy asked with a smile. “That’s why we never see you until later?”

“Yeah,” Annie nodded and laughed, “It all just seems so stupid now.”

They saw Britta sitting on the library steps and smoking a cigarette.

“What happened?” Annie asked her.

Britta remained silent; the reason too despicable for her to admit to the group, herself. Abed would have to do it. 

Abed walked out of the library and down the steps. He sat next to Britta and said, “She killed herself -- Evil Britta. So we reset, cause we can’t die.”

Britta sighed and said, scrunching her nose, “Gotta love those wildcards.”

“Where’s Jeff?” Annie asked.

“Duncan’s office,” Britta said and took a drag of her cigarette. “He’ll come looking for us any minute.”

Annie sat on the steps, next to Abed and laid her head on his shoulder, “Will it always be like this?”

“Like what?” Troy asked.

Shirley walked over to the front of the steps, facing the group and said, “We’re stuck in the loop forever, aren’t we?”

“Probably,” Britta said.

Bells started to ring in the background and rap music started to play. The notecard hit Britta’s shoe, for what must have been at least the seventh time. She never had looked at it before. For a moment it seemed like the music in the background stopped. The voices of the people around her became inaudible. The only thing that mattered right now was the notecard stuck to her shoe from the breeze of the wind.

She picked up the card and read what was written on it, “That's why you’re here, at Greendale. I’m not here to tell you to not change anything about the way you do things, but just to tell you to take it easy. Nothing you do matters as much as you think. Your greatest achievements aren't yours at all, they're accidents and jokes. You're a puppet, the universe does the work, and it gets the most done when you're moving the least. Surrender, flow, relax. Don't be hard on yourself, don't put pressure on yourself. Life is just a chain of experiments and results, and you'll be perfect when you're dead.” Fuck you, she thought and crushed the notecard in her hand, but then unfolded it to read the card again.

“Britta!” Jeff yelled at her as he waved his hand in front of her face, “What the hell did you do?”

She rolled her eyes and pointed at herself, “I didn’t do anything...when did you get here?”

“Just now and if you didn’t do anything then why are we here?” Jeff asked.

“It was her Evil counterpart,” Abed said.

“It’s never going to end,” Annie added with a whisper.

Jeff’s scowl faded into a frown, “So what do we do?”

Everyone looked at Britta, who was reading the card over and over again.

“We’ll just have to find another way to break from the script,” Abed nodded.

“Maybe we can find a way to stop that die from rolling!” Troy said with wide eyes. “Then the dark timeline wont exist!”

“We broke form the script once before,” Shirley agreed, “I don’t see why we can’t do it again.”

“No,” Britta shook her head. She stood up, rose from the steps and began to walk away.

“So what do we do?” Annie asked with an incredulous expression.

Britta turned around and said, “We play our parts and... we’ll be perfect when we’re dead.”

“But we can’t die. You know that...” Jeff said, “We’ll just keep getting sent back to The Pilot -- to now.”

“Exactly,” Britta nodded. She tilted her head and looked down at the ground. Her eyes shifted to Jeff and she said sadly, “I’ll see you in the cafeteria.” She looked at Abed, took out her cigarettes from her coat pocket, kept one for later, shoved the pack against his chest and said, “Smoke up, Johnny.”

* * *

 

**Steps of the Greendale Library**

**Later...**

Jeff stood outside the steps of the library and flipped through the pages in the packet that Professor Duncan gave him; expecting blank pages. He shook his head in disbelief. The pages had writing on them. He skimmed through the pages again. Shook his head again. ‘Holy Shit!” he screamed with intense excitement on the library steps! _Good Old Fashioned Nightmare Instrumental_ began to play. “Holy Shit!” Jeff started to laugh. “Holy Shit! Holy Fucking Shit! YES!”

The rest of the Study group came out later.

Jeff, acting somber, sat on the steps like he always did.

“Shouldn’t you be rolling on a bed of test answers?” Britta asked.

“I would say that I don’t have any of the answers, except--this time--that’s not the case.” He handed the manilla envelope to Britta.

With reluctance, she accepted it and looked through the papers with wide eyes, “You can’t be serious?”

‘What?” Shirley asked.

“He literally has ‘all’ the answers,” Britta started laughing, “It’s -- it’s the Show Bible. Everything the Creator knows about us and the Universe is right here.”

“You’re literally holding our universe in your hands, Britta,” Abed said.

“What do we do with it?” Troy asked.

Britta looked down at the pages.

Abed said, “We destroy it. That will free us.”

“What will happen to us?” Annie asked.

Abed looked at the ground, somber, and said, “We’ll fade away, but--”

“It’s the only way to escape this hell,” Britta said. She took out her lighter as Jeff held the envelope above the flame.

Just as Britta was about to allow the fire to meet and inflame the thick packet, Annie gently grasped Britta’s arm and said, "Wait!”

Everyone groaned.

“Come on, Annie!” Jeff said with frustration.

“Seriously?” Troy asked.

“Honey, really?” Shirley said.

Britta’s eyes met with Annie’s and Britta saw an intense sincerity in them. Annie asked her, “Do you really want to do this? To cease to exist?”

“Annie,” Britta said, “I’ve done this so many times I can’t even count how many. I can’t do this anymore. I-I--”her voice cracked, “I can’t do this anymore. I am just so--so tired.”

“But -- But,” Annie stammered, “I--I just love you guys so much. I don’t want to--to...di--cease to exist.”

“Annie,” Jeff said, “This is a literal hell. We’re going to repeat over and over again. The same lines. The same experiences. We can’t escape. You do realize what happens to you in the last episode?”

Annie locked eyes with Jeff. Her lips quivered as she nodded in agreement. 

Britta took the script from Annie. She held it high above her lighter and with tired, empty eyes looked around at the rest of the Study Group. Annie was crying as she held onto Abed’s arm; leaning into him. Britta asked, “So, we’re all in agreement? We end this? We beat him this way? By destroying ourselves?” Everyone nodded, but Annie. “Annie?” she said, gruff and demanding.

Annie stopped burying her head into Abed’s arm and looked back at Britta.

With intense desperation in her voice, Britta said, “Please don’t make us go through this again.”

“Okay,” Annie nodded as she scrunched her nose and let out a wail, “Do it.”

Britta lowered the script to lighter. The pages began to burn. She dropped it to her feet and closed her eyes, waiting for relief.

The ground began to rumble like they were in a nine-richter scale level earthquake. Behind them the library began to crumble.

Annie looked at herself as she saw her skin becoming translucent, “Abed?" She looked up in his eyes, “What’s going on? What’s happening to me?”

“It’s okay,” he nodded to her as he cupped her cheek. “We’re going to be okay. I promise.”

Shirley saw her purse fall to the ground. She looked at her hands and saw that they too were translucent.

Troy looked at his hand and said, “I kind of feel like a Jedi...”

“It’s calming, isn’t it?” Britta asked, without opening her eyes. 

A moment later, she heard Jeff ask with aggravation, “Why the--bleep--are we in black and white?” and then a laugh track played.

Then Britta opened her eyes and looked at her hands. Everything was in black and white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I will address the following in the last chapter for anyone that's worried and such;
> 
> \--Why the hell they end up in "black and white."  
> \--Why Pierce is the only one who can die in every Timeline.  
> \--Why they couldn't convince each other the true nature of the medium by predicting/reciting what would happen in future events.  
> \--Jeff and Annie will address the "almost kiss."  
> \--We will see one more scene with the Dark Timeline/Evil Counterparts.  
> \--And if they get complete free will.


	13. Sitcom Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter because it would be a shame to never finish this. I wrote the majority of this a year ago. I just found it and finished it recently (like tonight)....My original idea for an ending ended up being way too complicated so I hope this suffices. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this. I apologize for not posting for over a year...life and my screenplay writing got in the way.

* * *

 

**???**

 

Britta opened her eyes. 

 

Nothing. 

 

There was a grey, foggy abyss in front of her. Nothingness. She called out for the others in the fog. 

 

“Jeff!” 

 

“Britta!” he called back. 

 

“Jeff!,” she said. “Just follow my voice!”Britta’s skin jumped as she felt Jeff’s hand grab her arm. She turned around and saw Jeff. “You’re still here!” she said, embracing him. 

 

“What the hell is going on? Please don’t tell me I’m in John Malkovitch’s mind. Even after all we’ve been through that would be the most terrifying fucking thing.” 

 

In the background a low-pitched, slow-mo laugh track played. 

 

“What the hell was that?” Britta said, terrified. 

 

“I think we’ve...ceased to exist. We don’t have a world, so we’re...here?” He looked at his hand, then his shirt, before gazing down at Britta. "I didn't think you could look any more translucent, but here we are in a monochromatic color scheme."  The creepy laugh track played again.  “Come on!” Jeff said, “That wasn’t even funny.” 

 

Britta let go of Jeff and stood in front of him awkwardly. ‘We should find the others.” 

 

“I would normally agree, however finding a person usually requires there to be another place to actually go.” 

 

“True...so we yell for them?” 

 

“I don’t have a better plan...Annie! Abed! Shirley! Troy! Guys!” 

 

Jeff’s yells echoed. 

 

“Abed!” Britta said, “Abed! Please tell me you’re here! Shirley! Troy! Annie!” 

* * *

 

 

**Later....**

 

Jeff and Britta sat on the ground with their backs against each other. 

 

“Favorite moment,” Britta said. 

 

Jeff laughed to himself. “ It was when you gave me the faucets. I was at bottom and you gave me that push out of the metaphorical pit I was stuck in. For that brief moment it felt like I wouldn't be stuck at Greendale forever...What was yours?” 

 

“Mine?...When you held my hand under the study table before it happened...you know before you realized you loved Annie. I knew it would be the last time you would hold any part of me like that.” 

 

“We’ll always go back to--” 

 

“We both know that’s bullshit.” 

 

“No. It’s not." He reached behind his back and grasped Britta's hand. "Maybe this is okay. Maybe we can live like this until we die...or kill each other from becoming so irritated from being each others' only companion."

 

"You know we can't die, Jeff." Her eyes began to water. “I’ve accepted it. Okay? Don’t worry about me.”

  

"Can't we say fuck the story?" 

 

She wiped her nose with her sleeve and dried her eyes. “Don’t you see? If we got together it would be meaningless. You climbed through a freaking air vent for her, saved her from Evil Jeff, and--and you freaking love her, Jeff. I know you do.” 

 

“I love you too.” 

 

“Yeah, but not in the way--like--well...would you climb through an air vent for me?” 

 

“If Evil Jeff was going to do to you what he was going to do to Annie? Then no I wouldn’t risk my life for my friend,” Jeff said with sarcasm. 

 

“But he wasn’t and I think we both know why he picked her...Jeff, I’m never going to love you as much as she does and you’re never going to feel about me the way you feel about her. No matter how much you suppress it. No matter how much you deny it....The Evil versions of us may have been bat-shit insane, but they were right about one thing. You’re lying to yourself, Jeff.”She turned to face him. Stop being afraid of what you want." 

 

Jeff looked at her in silence before saying, “But we were together for sevent--” 

 

“Jeff,” Britta looked at him with intense sincerity. He could see her suppressing the tears, “I’m not going to make you happy.” She stood up. “We’re gonna go and find the others and you--you’re going to go and make all this mean something.”She tilted her head at him. 

 

Jeff rose and gathered her small body in his arms. He whispered in her ear, “Does everything have to mean something?” 

 

“We need to end the story. A story without meaning would just be a chocolate chip cookie without raisins.”

 

“It would have no depth,” Jeff agreed as he let her go from his embrace. 

 

“Exactly.”Britta smiled at him as the tears streamed down her cheek.

 

As Jeff released Britta from his embrace, he heard yells. 

 

“Jeff! Britta!” Annie said in the distance. 

 

“Bri-ta! Honey! Please answer! Please be here!” Shirley said. 

 

“Don't worry. They’re here,” Abed said. 

 

“Guys,” Troy said. “Are you sure we’re not in an 80’s music video?” 

 

The creepy laugh track played. 

 

“Why does it do that every time I say something?!” Troy said. “It’s like I died and went to CBS hell.” 

 

Britta and Jeff saw the group emerge from the fog. Jeff ran up to them, while Britta stayed back, alone. 

 

“Annie?” Jeff

 

“Yeah?” Annie said.  

 

“I don’t even know how to begin to count how many years I’ve been waiting to do this.” Jeff took her in his arms and kissed her passionately; lifting her up from her feet. 

 

As Britta watched from the distance the scene began fading away, like it was melting off a screen until all she saw was a white wall. 

* * *

 

 

** Room 34 E - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

 

Britta found herself restrained to a hospital bed. “What the fuck!?” She yelled as she thrashed from the restraints. “Let me out!” She looked down at her outfit and realized she was wearing a hospital gown. Horrified, she wailed, “Get me the fuck out of here!” 

 

The door to the white room opened, Dr. Georges entered the room, “Britta? You know I can’t let you out until after you’ve calmed down for a while.” 

 

“Why am I in here!’ She said through gritted teeth. 

 

“In this room?” 

 

“No, why am on a beach in Hawaii?” She glared at him. “Yeah! Why am I here in this room?!”

 

“Britta, you know our policy about sexual relationships between patients. Jeffrey has behaved in isolation, so we allowed him back into the group therapy. You, on the other hand, have not complied with the isolation policies. You need to calm down and we’ll let you back with your friends. There’s a code of conduct around here, structure--a script to follow. You, my dear, should have not have broken that.” 

 

Britta glared at him in silence for a moment and then said, “He did this! He’s fucking with us, you know? He--He did this!” 

 

“Who is ‘he’?” 

 

“The Creator!” Britta said. 

 

“Britta,” Dr. Georges said with a forced, kind smile, “You and your friends are not characters on a television show. There is no “creator,” okay? You have schizophrenia.” 

 

“What?” Britta said, breathless. 

 

“It’s okay. We’re going to make you better. Okay? We know your childhood trauma and hard drug use has caused you to slowly loose touch with reality, but we’re going to help you so you can go back to your family in the real world.” 

 

“What?” she said, her eyes bugging out. 

 

“Increase her haloperidol,” Dr. Geroges said to the nurse as he wrote something on her chart. He saw her thrashing and said, “and her lithium too. Just to be safe,” and left the room. 

 

* * *

**Nurses' Station - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital**  


 

“Jeffrey,” a voice said over the intercom, “What did we tell you and Annie about intimate physical contact?” The nurse let go of the intercom button and said, to the other nurse in the booth, “I knew we shouldn’t have ever let her out of the juvenile ward.” 

 

Through the glass, the nurses saw Jeff and Annie part from what looked to be a passionate kiss. 

 

“She is twenty-two now,” the other nurse said. 

 

“I know that, but I meant back then. Three and a half years ago. Should have sent her back with the younger ones. Maybe she wouldn’t be here still.” 

 

“They’d all be out by now if it weren’t for Dr.Georges’ research grant and insurance costs. Well, with the exception of Perry. That insurance plan her neurologist brother somehow got her on is amazing. She’ll be in here for life regardless. Anyway, if Dr.Georges wasn’t so fascinated with their weird little collective reality they share and just separated them permanently, I bet my left foot they’d all be out by now.” 

 

“Which is exactly why we should have gotten Edison out of here before they sucked her in. She had so much potential and she was the last one we added to the group.” 

* * *

**Recreation Room F - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital**

 

Jeff opened his eyes and let go of Annie. Speechless, he looked around the room and then at Annie, whose eyes were starting to fill with tears. “What’s going on?” he asked. 

 

An orderly walked over to Jeff and said, “Jeff? Come on. She’s a sexy---um--sorry finding the appropriate phrase to use here--an attractive girl, but you wanna go back in isolation again? I know you said last time it was ‘worth it,’ to get it on with Perry, but you know the rules. So no intimate physical contact, okay?” 

 

Jeff nodded his head, confused. 

 

The orderly gestured over to an activity table, “You guys wanna play a game together? You two love playing games together. Huh? That usually solves this,” he pointed back and forth at Annie and Jeff, “physical intimacy problem.” 

 

“Um,” Jeff looked at the orderly, “Why am I in here?” 

 

“So you know you’re not on a sitcom?” the orderly asked. 

 

“I don’t know where I am.” Jeff said. He looked at Annie.

 

Annie stared at Abed, who sat at a table with Shirley and Troy. Abed gave her panicked look. 

 

“Greendale Psychiatric Hospital. Okay?” The orderly gently grabbed Jeff by the shoulder and lead him over to the table. Annie followed. 

 

“So--wait,” Jeff said, “We’re not at Riverside Psychiatric Hospital?” 

 

“You mean the one you guys made up?” The orderly asked with a smile. He took out Boggle and set it on the table between Annie and Jeff, “You guys wanna play Boggle? I know Annie loves boggle. Don’t you, Annie?” 

 

Annie nodded slowly and sat down. 

 

The orderly rose his eyebrows he looked at Annie and asked, “Annie, do you know where you are?” 

 

“A hospital.” She said. 

 

“Really?” The orderly smiled, “Do you think you’re a character on a TV show?” 

 

She looked over at Abed and rose her eyebrows at him. He slowly shook his head at her. She nodded, then made eye contact with the orderly, clearing her throat to say, “Um. No. I’m in a hospital. This is actually happening. I’m a real person.” 

 

“Okay,” the orderly nodded. He left them alone and walked up to the nurses’ station. 

 

Jeff started to pick up the Boggle set. 

 

Annie grabbed Jeff’s hand and shook her head quickly with warning in her eyes. She kept her hand in his and whispered, “He’s tricking us.” 

 

“Who is?” Jeff asked. 

 

“The Creator,” Annie whispered as she looked around the room, “He’ wants us to--” 

 

“Annie,” Jeff said, “Look where we are.” With his hand in hers, he rubbed his thumb in circles to feel her soft skin. “Maybe--maybe this is,” he gulped, “real...it makes more sense than anything we’ve encountered so far.” 

 

Annie pulled her hand away from Jeff and said, “You think this is real? It’s happened before. Remember? When that guy who looked a lot like Andy Daly or was it John Hodgman-- anyway that doesn’t matter right now. He came and tried to convince us that--” 

 

“But it makes sense!” Jeff said, “Think, Annie. You OD'd on pills, I had a nervous breakdown--I mean, I was wearing sweatpants in the so called, “Pilot,” I would never do that unless I was having a crisis. Shirley was--is an alcoholic and probably lost her mind after she lost her kids. Troy lost his scholarship and probably had a breakdown too. And then there’s Abed...” 

 

“What about Abed?” Annie snapped. 

 

“Abed’s probably always been--” 

 

“Been what?” Annie asked, slightly offended.  

 

“Okay, Annie, look--” he grazed her arm with his finger, “please, maybe we can get out of here if we just listen to them?” 

 

Annie tilted her head at him. She looked around the room and asked, “Where’s Britta?” 

 

* * *

** Room 34 E - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

 

A nurse came into Britta’s room and took her out of the restraints. “Are you going to be calm now?” the nurse asked. 

 

Britta nodded. “Can--can I go see my friends?” 

 

“Not yet,” the nurse said, “maybe tomorrow.” 

 

“Tomorrow?” panic filled Britta’s eyes, “I--I can’t wait until tomorrow.” 

 

“Sweetie,” the nurse said, “you’re lucky we’re even taking you out the restraints so early. If your brother wasn’t so adamant--” 

 

“My brother?” Britta tilted her head at the nurse. 

 

“Yes. Why else do you think you get to be in this experimental program. You’re not nearly as bad as the others--or at least you weren’t until this past week. It’s probably good for you to not be interacting with them right now.”  

 

“Bad as the others?” 

 

“You know what I mean,” the nurse said casually, “You always reject what they’re doing until the last possible minute--fake paintball game.  That week Troy and Abed refused to speak to one another and leave their forts and you decided to take pictures instead. The week Abed and Annie only spoke in British accents or the time they pretended they were everyone else while you talked to Troy all day. Don’t even get me started on the time Shirley and Jeff got really into foosball and thought German people were challenging them. That was also the week Abed talked like Batman the entire seven days...” 

 

Britta didn’t respond and looked at the Nurse with restrained anger. 

 

“Dear,” the nurse began again, “you really have to stop escaping your room in the middle of the night to meet up secretly with Jeffrey in the recreation room. I know it’s called the recreation room, but it’s not meant for that kind of recreation. Then maybe you wouldn’t be here right now. Also, you may be in a psych ward, but it doesn’t mean he’s not using you, dear.” The nurse took a look at Britta’s red ankles and said, “We both know Annie wont break the rules and leave her room at night like you will and he’s intimidated sexually by Shirley.”  

 

“He wasn’t using me,” Britta said. “He...he loves me.” 

 

“Whatever you say, dear.” The nurse said. 

 

“You wouldn’t understand,” Britta said. She r ubbed her wrists and looked at the red burns from being restrained. 

 

“I leave you alone to rest some more.” The nurse said. 

 

Britta got up off her cot and began to pace in her room; trying to figure out what to do. She collapsed on her cot and looked up at the ceiling. Her eyes widened. She saw her way out; a n air vent.

 

 

* * *

** Recreation Room F - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

Dr. Georges entered the recreation room and walked over to Jeff and Annie, who sat staring at the Boggle game. 

 

“Good evening, how are you two doing? Pretty great?” Dr. Georges smiled. “I hear you two have figured out when you’re having hallucinations. Which is just--just great. I’d like to see you both in sessions tonight--starting with Jeff.” 

 

Annie’s eyes widened, she looked over at Abed, who tilted his head at her. 

 

“I’d like to go first,” Annie said as she stood up and grabbed her cardigan sweater off her chair. She put it on and nodded to Dr. Georges.  

 

“Okay--well why not?” Dr. Georges said with a hint of suspicion. 

 

As she followed Dr. Georges out of the recreation room, Annie looked at Abed and nodded as she wiggled her eyebrows. Abed tilted his head back at her. He rose from his chair, walked over to Jeff, and sat across from him. 

 

Jeff’s hand inched toward the Boggle game. 

 

“Don’t,” Abed said, looking around the room. 

 

“Why not?” 

 

“It’s exactly what He wants you to do.” 

 

“Abed,” Jeff said with restrained frustration, “look around and tell me what you see.” 

 

“We’re in a mental hospital,” Abed deadpanned. 

 

“Okay, good. Now--” 

 

“He wants to trick us. To trap us here so we’ll always be in his control.” Abed nodded. 

 

“Abed!” Jeff yelled and then lowered his voice when he saw the orderly staring at him, “This is real! Look around! We’re nuts!” 

 

Abed shook his head, “No. We are not.” As Jeff started to reach for the Boggle game again, Abed said, “Don’t touch the boggle game.” 

 

“Why? Will it create alternate timelines?” Jeff said facetiously. 

 

Abed tilted his head at Jeff, then nodded. 

 

“Come on, Abed.” Jeff rolled his eyes and asked, “What do you want to do so to solve this apparent problem of ours?” 

 

“We need to build a Dreamatorium--” 

 

“I’m sick of building Dreamatoriums. You know what?” Jeff rose his eyebrows at Abed, “Here's a crazy suggestion. Maybe we should all just stay here?” 

 

Abed looked at Jeff with worried eyes. “Jeff, we need to stay on the task at hand. Now, we need to build a--” 

 

“Abed, you, Annie, Shirley and Troy can build whatever the hell you want. Okay? I’m not escaping my room in the middle of the night to make a fake, card-board time-machine--”

 

“It’s not a time machine. It’s an inter-dimensional--” 

 

“I don’t care what it is, but I’m not participating, okay?” Jeff got up from the table and went over to the window. 

 

Shirley watched Jeff get up and followed him. She stood behind him and said, “Sweetie, look out the window and tell me what you see.”

 

“A tree.” 

 

“Is it a real tree? Or is it a plastic tree?” 

 

Jeff looked back at Shirley, “Who can even tell the difference anymore?”

 

* * *

** Room 34 E - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

 

“I would like a blanket,” Britta said, to the nurse who brought her dinner. 

 

“We can’t give you a blanket. We could increase the heat--” 

 

“I want a blanket.” 

 

“We can’t give you--” 

 

“I think my brother would want you to give me a blanket,” Britta said. 

 

The nurse tilted her head at Britta. 

 

“I promise I’m not going to hang myself with it,” Britta said, “What would I use as a leverage or whatever.” 

 

“You’d be surprised.” 

 

“Please? Can you at least ask?” 

 

“I’ll see what I can do,” the nurse said before leaving the room. 

* * *

** Recreation Room F - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

After Jeff and Annie had their counseling sessions, the group, except Britta, sat to eat their dinner. 

 

“12:17? 12:17? 12:17? 12:17?” Abed said to each study group member. Everyone nodded, but Jeff. 

 

“I’m staying out of this,” Jeff said, “So, no. I will not be here at 12:17. I will be in my room, like I’m supposed to be. So they wont think I’m an insane person and I can go back to my normal life!”  

 

After a pause, Abed deadpanned, “We lost him.” 

 

“What about Brit-ta?” Shirley asked. 

 

“We’ll build the dreamatorium tonight--make it a fold-able version so we can hide it behind the bookcase. Then the day Britta comes back from isolation, we can take it out and leave.” 

 

“This is ridiculous,” Jeff said. “You guys know you’re never going to get out of here doing shit like this.” 

 

“You can think whatever you want to, man, but, like seriously, you’re being the crazy one here,” Troy said. 

 

“I’m--I’m being the crazy one?” Jeff pointed at himself and shook his head. Under the table, he felt Annie grab his hand. She smiled at him, but it was filled with pity.  

 

* * *

** Room 34 E - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

 

That night, Britta stood on her bed, shredding and knotting the extra blanket she persuaded the nurses to give her. She kept trying to get the blanket strung between the bars of the air vent high above her near the ceiling.  She jumped on her bed with each toss of the blanket. 

 

‘Fucking piece of shit,” she muttered to herself as she missed the air vent grate. She tousled her hair with her fingers and realized she was wearing a hair clip. She took it out of her hair, looked at it and said, “Hmm...” 

 

 

* * *

** Room 54 F - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

 

Jeff heard his door creak open. It wasn’t time for a check yet. He rose from his bed and saw Annie slowly close the door and tip-toe over to the side of his bed. She sat down and cupped his cheek with her hand. 

 

“How did you get in here?” 

 

“Abed stole a set of keys earlier so he and Troy could get some cardboard from the recycling room.” 

 

“You’re not going to let Britta out with those, are you?” 

 

“We can’t,” Annie said, “the keys to her room are in a different part of the hospital. The orderly Abed took these from doesn’t have clearance in the ward she’s in.” 

 

Jeff kissed her wrist and said, “You’re going to get caught doing this.” 

 

She shook her head and said, “Abed has all the checks timed. I have fifteen minutes.”  

 

His eyes then adjusted to the dark and saw the sorrow written on her face. He pulled her onto his lap and grasped her head, pressing her against his chest. As he kissed her on the top of her head and breathed the raspberry scent of her hair. “Why did this have to happen?” he asked. His voice shook with the pain of his confusion. “How can stuff that felt so real be a hallucination?” 

 

“Because they weren’t,” Annie said, “real or hallucinations. We’re characters in a story.”

 

“But, Annie...it explains everything. It--it makes more sense than the truth. About why--why we can’t leave....about us.” 

 

“You mean why we’re always kept apart?” Annie asked.

 

Jeff nodded. 

 

“Why do you think they do that?”  she asked. 

 

“...I don’t know.” 

 

“Don’t lie, Jeff.” She looked up at him and read his face, knowing what he really meant; that a lie escaped from his lips. 

 

He pushed her hair behind her ears and said, “They’re uncomfortable with it because, well, you know...” 

 

“It’s a stupid thing to care about. Wouldn’t you say?” 

 

“The illicit student-teacher affairs on CW and ABC Family shows have less of an age difference than we do.” 

 

“I don’t care...do you?” 

 

Jeff paused; searching for what to say. “I shouldn’t care.” 

 

“Jeff,” she said, “Please, come and help us.” 

 

“Annie,” he said with a whisper, “This is real. We’re not television characters.” 

 

Annie looked up at the ceiling and sniffed her nose.

 

“Don’t you want to get out of here? Together? Then we can be together. In the real world,” Jeff said with a whisper. “We can have a stupid house and a dog. And you can invite people over and make me have parties I don’t want to have and, and normal stuff like that. No Dreamatoriums. No paintball. No TV tropes. No pillow fights lasting weeks on end.” 

 

She looked at him silence for a moment. 

 

“What you just described--about the house, dog and the thing about parties-- is probably just about everything I’ve imagined, but--but...” As she trailed off, her lips met with Jeff’s. When she pulled away, she felt the polka-dotted cotton of Jeff’s hospital gown.“I hope you realize that He--the Creator--is lying to you.” 

 

“We’re lying to ourselves to believe in this--this crap. We have schizophrenia. Okay? We’re sick and both of us--all six of us, have to get better.” 

 

Her brow crinkled as she shook her head. “Too much has happened for it to have never happened. He’s controlling this.” She got off of Jeff’s lap, said, “It’s an illusion, Jeff. It’s a deconstruction of our universe--to say this, us being in a mental hospital--would be the only logical explanation, but it’s not. The music is too hopeful for me to think that.” 

 

“The music isn’t real.” 

 

“What does it mean to be real?” Annie asked. 

 

Jeff looked at her standing in the middle of the dark room in her hospital gown and socks. Strands of hair fell across her eyes and he thought about how vulnerable she looked. 

 

“I don’t feel real here, do you?” she asked. 

 

Jeff shook his head. 

 

“And maybe we never will,” Annie said, “I mean, we’re not technically real, anyway. We’re just a fabrication of some guy’s imagination. We exist to manipulate people’s emotions--to make them feel like this all matters. To distract them from their real problems.” 

 

“It matters to me.” 

 

“Then come with us,” Annie said, “And help us build a new Dreamatorium. So when Britta comes back we can all leave. So it can all end and we wont have to deal with,” she gestured back and forth between them, “this torture; of never feeling fully okay with how we feel about each other. Because I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand to be disappointed anymore and I can’t stand it taking precedent over my life--or storyline or whatever you want to call it.” 

 

Jeff didn’t say anything. 

 

“I need this to end; I’m sick of being a Will They? Wont They? because in our case, in the way he designed our universe, it’s a ‘you--the audience-- shouldn’t like this but do, so I’m going to mess with your heads’ they. I’m done with only holding hands in the dark.” 

 

“Annie, please,” Jeff sighed. “I need you to believe me it’s a hallucination so we can move on.” 

 

“It’s a sitcom, Jeff. It’s not real life. We can’t move on. It’s the same story every week with different words and I know the all the story beats by heart,” Annie said and shook her head, “Don’t get stuck here. It’s limbo. You can either come with us and fix this--end this all--or rot in sitcomland. " She then left the room.

* * *

** Room 34 E - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

 

A nurse opened the door to Britta’s isolation room. “Britta?” 

 

There was no answer. 

 

“Britta Perry?” the nurse turned on the light and saw the blanket tied to the air vent grate.“Shit!” the nurse said before running down the hallway. 

 

She took out her cell-phone, dialed and said, “Dr. Georges?” 

 

_“What? I’m at home entertaining a lady--”_

 

“Miss Perry has, um--escaped isolation and is loose in the--” 

 

_“You’re kidding? Please tell me you’re kidding?” he said, “Do you know how much she’s worth in insurance money?”_

 

“No,” the nurse said meekly. 

 

_“Millions! Her insurance company is paying millions to keep her here! Now, if you want to keep you’re job and others’ jobs, then put this place on lock-down.”_

 

“Isn’t that a bit extreme? She’s not dangerous--” 

 

_“Millions of dollars! And she can pick locks! She could potentially release the entire patient population!”_

 

“Oh dear! Okay!”  

 

_“I’ll be over as soon as I can get there.”_

 

* * *

** Recreation Room F - Greendale Psychiatric Hospital **

 

Annie quietly closed the door into the recreation room. Abed, Shirley and Troy were already building the dreamatorium out of cardboard scraps Abed and Troy got from the recycling. 

 

Shirley said, “Hey, you guys think we keep repeating because we don’t take Pierce with us?” 

 

Troy and Abed looked at each other. Troy asked, “Do you think that’s--” 

 

"We've gone through too much for that to be the obvious reason..." Abed said with wide eyes, as he held up a finger to silence Troy. 

 

“Hey, guys,” Annie said with a forced smile. 

 

“How is he?” Shirley asked. 

 

Annie looked at the ground and shook her head.

 

“We have all next week to help him, sweetie. I don’t think they’re going to let Britta out of isolation for a while,” Shirley said. 

 

“We’re almost done,” Troy said. “We just have to add some more mac and cheese boxes to the top cover.” 

 

“No time for that. It’s fine. We’ll be able to hide this behind the bookcase and go back to our rooms in a minute,” Abed said as he closed a jar of green paint.  

 

“And they wont even know we left,” Annie said, raising her eyebrows. 

 

Then, a red light began to blink around and a loud alarm sound went off. Over the alarm, a calm, robotized, British voice said, “Code Gray. Escaped Patient. The hospital is now on lockdown. No one is permitted to leave or enter the premise.” 

 

They all looked at each other. 

 

“You think?” Annie asked. 

 

“Who else would?” Troy said. 

 

“No one else would,” Shirley said. 

 

“But a Wildcard,” Abed said. 

 

 

* * *

**** Greendale Psychiatric Hospital ** **  


 

Jeff woke to the sound of an alarm. He sat up in his bed and noticed that his door knob was shaking. As he tilted his head, the door opened. The light poured in; revealing a small figure in a hospital gown standing in front of him. 

 

“Britta? What--what are you doing here?” 

 

“I told you I’d come back when you needed me, Jeff, and clearly--possibly even more than the time I stole you your old faucets--you need me right now.” 

 

She walked into the room and grabbed him by the right arm, “Let’s go.” 

 

“Go where?” 

 

“The hell out of here! Where else do you think we’d go? Disneyland?” 

 

“Technically Disneyland is the hell out of--” 

 

“Jeff, we don’t have time for this.” She started to pull him out of the room. 

 

“They’ll put me isolation again!” 

 

“Do you even know what the hell isolation is?” Britta asked. 

 

“Um...now that you mention it, I don’t,” Jeff said, crinkling his forehead.  

 

“My point, exactly. It’s all an illusion.” 

 

“It’s not an illusion! Britta, I’m going to get in trouble!” 

 

“Since when has that stopped you from doing something, Winger?” Britta asked with a smirk. 

 

Jeff tilted his head and said, “Good point.” 

 

Then she dragged him out into the hallway. He reluctantly complied. 

 

Jeff asked, “How-how the hell did you get in my room?” 

 

“I picked the lock with my hair-clip.” 

 

“How did you get out of isolation?” 

 

“The air vents.” She said as she jerked him around a hallway corner. 

 

“Wait.”Jeff stopped in place, leading Britta to get recoiled by Jeff’s large body mass. “You climbed through air vents to save me?” 

 

“Of course.” Britta looked at him like he was insane, “Now are you coming?” She pulled his arm again and he followed. “He’s trying to convince us we’re insane by doing all this Twelve Monies type shit--screw with ours minds, so we can’t escape the sitcom universe again,” Britta said. Jeff stopped in place again. Britta recoiled again, “What? We gotta go before they get to us and--and then we’ll be in isolation for even longer and wont get back to our universe--” 

 

“Britta, We. Aren’t. T.V. Characters.” 

 

She tilted her head at him, “Jeff, we’re--us two--are supposed to be the rational ones.” 

 

“And you’re not being rational right now.” 

 

“Do me favor? Listen for the music.” 

 

“Britta, it doesn’t matter if I hear music. I’m schizo-fucking-phrenic! Of course I’m--you’re--all of us are going to hear hallucinatory music!” 

 

Britta grasped Jeff’s hand and said, “Cause the music is playing now and if I know Abed as well as I think I do, he’s building a new dreamatorium as we speak.” 

 

Jeff crinkled his forehead. “Apparently you do know Abed extremely well because that’s exactly what he’s doing in the recreation room.” 

 

“I didn’t spend over twenty years with him in the series loop for nothing. So, you can stay here and be ‘sane,’ and live a lie and be trapped by Him--by the Creator--or you can come with us and fix it....Jeff, here, in a sitcom, everything might be safe, there may always be a happy ending, and--and if we make him grant us free-will, it will be scary because we’re so fucked up--Realistically, I’m never going to become a therapist.I’m screwed.There’s probably not going to be a happy ending for me...and it scares the shit out of me and you --” She tilted her head at him. “Do you want to stay in a world where there’s always a happy ending or a plot device preventing you from expressing your true feelings--from being with Annie--or do you want to face the truth of who we actually are?” She paused, then added, “Don’t you want to feel real? Cause I’ve felt real before. This isn’t it.” 

 

For a moment, Jeff stared at her. Then he heard the music begin to play in the background. “I do,” Jeff said, “I do want to feel real.” 

 

“Let’s go then,” Britta said. She sucked on her bottom lip, and added, “...Together...” Her brow crinkled as she waited for his response. “Not, like, the romantical together. I know you...you know, love Annie--but in, like the sense of--” 

 

“Together,”Jeff nodded to her with a smile. He grasped her hand. Britta smiled back at him and led him down the white hallways. 

 

As they ran they heard voices of nurses talking. Britta, quickly opened a janitors’ closet door and pushed Jeff in. She pressed against him and covered his mouth, shushing him. 

 

“You shshshhh,” Jeff mumbled against her hand. 

 

“Do you want to get caught, idiot?” Britta glared at him. After a pause, she looked him in the eyes and said, “Shhh!” 

 

“I didn’t say anything!” 

 

They heard people talking walk by and waited until their voices faded.

 

After a moment, Britta nodded to Jeff. They left the closet. 

 

As they ran down the hallway together, Jeff asked, “How the hell did you know that was a closet?” He looked at her, worried. 

 

Britta stood in the middle of the hallway; deciding whether to go left or right, “I have no idea.” She grabbed Jeff’s hand and ran down the hallway to the left. 

 

“Doesn’t that concern you?” 

 

“Does what concern me?” 

 

“That you know where to go and where the closets are? That it’s like you know this because you’ve been here for years?” 

 

Britta stopped running and looked up at Jeff, “A little bit.” After a pause, she nodded and said, “It’s a replica of Greendale. Limited sets! Evil Annie cornered me in that closet in the original finale...We need to go right!” 

 

They came to a hallway where they saw Dr. Georges and his nurses at the end of it. 

 

“There they are!” Dr. Georges said.  

 

“Not going right!” Britta yelled. She jerked Jeff by the arm and they ran down a different way and then took another left. Somehow they managed to reach the recreation room. 

 

“There it is!” Britta said, pointing at the doors to Recreation Room F. They bursted through the glass doors and saw the rest of the Study Group standing around the misshapen Dreamatorium Abed had built. 

 

“Abed! I got him! I got Jeff!” Britta yelled, still dragging Jeff along with her, “Take us back there! We’re gonna make Him change the ending for real this time!” 

 

The dreamatorium lit up. 

 

After exchanging a look with abed, Troy ran through the Dreamatorium alone. Shirley followed. Annie stood there; stunned by what was happening.

 

“How did she convince him to--” Annie began to say, while absently pointing at Jeff and Britta, but then Abed grasped Annie by the shoulders, and pushed her into the light. He gave a small smile with nod to Britta and then went through after Annie. 

 

Dr.Georges stood in the hallway as he was about to open the door to the recreation room. He looked at one of his nurses and said, “Cindy, get the sedatives ready.” He opened the door and saw Jeff and Britta running toward a piece of cardboard with light emitting from it. 

 

Dr. Georges and the nurses stopped and stared at the spectacle before them. “What the--” he said as Britta took Jeff through the Dreamatorium with her. 

 

The light died down.

 

Dr. Georges walked over to the cardboard contraption, looked inside of it, then at the nurses with an astounded look, “...They’re gone. They-they’ve disappeared into thin air.” He threw the cardboard contraption on the ground and stomped on it. “Do you know how badly we’re gonna get sued!” 

 

The nurses shook their heads. 

 

“We’re gonna get fucked worse than NBC’s Fall schedule.” 

 

“But they have a Tina Fey show.” 

 

“Oh, they do?” 

 

“No they gave that to Netflix.” 

 

“Stupid.” Dr. Georges said. 

 


End file.
